Last night was a date night. My boyfriend text the night before that he missed me and that he wanted to get together (*Squee*). I knew time would be limited and figured it’d be just dinner. I had a lot going on yesterday applying for jobs and getting some other things in order (laundry, etc). I knew which dress I wanted to wear, but I would need to alter the straps so my entire bra wouldn’t show in back. I’d actually already altered this dress and the straps but not enough. I got out my sewing basket and sewing machine and grabbed the dress and then…D’oh! I lost my seam ripper! (I will be buying a new one or two today!)

As I was getting ready, I headed to my closet to rummage through my dresses. “What to wear?!?!” I wanted something comfortable, not too dressy, but that I wouldn’t feel the need to wear teggings underneath. I pulled out this Eshakti Candy Sprinkles dress that I’ve had for a very long time but had never actually worn. I’d been “saving” it for a special occasion. Well, fuck it! I wore the damned thing. Actually, I tried it on (as I have a dozen times before) and felt at a loss on how to accessorize and turn it into an actual outfit. Then something magical happened! Random shit! Ha-ha!

With the dress on I grabbed a necklace or three and none worked. Then I realized, it needed a belt! It needed a little something to make it look more finished. I had bought a dress at Target for $8 a year ago that came with this skinny bright blue belt (that actually matches my current purse perfectly!) and randomly tried it on. It was just right! Next, simple but elegant accessories! Delicate gold butterfly necklace my sister gave me ages ago, fake/cheapy rhinestone stud earrings and a silver and gold tone bracelet I’d recently thrifted. Nice! But wait?!?! SHOES?!?!?!

There is something to be said about a femme with a healthy shoe collection! I rocked that shit! Ha-ha! For real, though. I had the most perfect pair of shoes for this dress and didn’t even know it. My first thought was brown flats or doc martens. Boo! No! Boring! Then they peaked out at me from the bottom shelf of my shoe rack. These cheap-ass flats I’d gotten on eBay last year. What?! I’d never even worn them before, but not only were they perfect in colors but they were hella comfy, too! Win!

When I looked in the mirror when it was all said and done, I could’t help but smile and be proud of this shit! Why had I waited so long to wear this awesome dress?! Actually, the pics don’t do it justice. The fabric is soft and nearly silky feeling. The puff sleeves have rutching up the sides that I love (rutched with elastic so no weirdness). The dress came with a plain brown slip since the outer fabric is sheer, that has an elastic waist. The waist, which is really under bust for me, is also elastic. Also the dress fits me really well and it makes me feel pretty silly that I waited so long to wear it out. And the first thing he said when I opened the door, “Wow, look at your nice dress!” Ha-ha!

Yes, I dress up for our dates. I don’t have to, he wouldn’t give two shits, but I like to. I’m dating a geek, so it’s always awesome tees and pants or cargo shorts for him, but I like showing him my ultra femme side when I can. I enjoy getting ready for him and take my time in doing so. I don’t always feel the need, but sometimes getting dolled up is it’s own self-care ritual for me. I love that! (Also, my hair turned out accidentally awesome! I just sort of did it without looking in the mirror. So, yay!)

And now for the (cell phone) pics!!!

Eshakti Candy Sprinkles Dress

I’m one helluva happy, geeky-gal!
😉
<3
S

I am part of a femmes group on Facebook and I love how they share tips and advice and product reviews. I am constantly inspired and delighted by what happens in that group. I thought I would share some of my own cheap and easy finds that keep me going on those tough days or keep me looking or feeling better than I could without. These are just what I like and use and in no way is this a must have list or anything. But I rarely have other femmes IRL that I can talk to about this stuff, and so I share it here with you. 🙂

I have seen e.l.f. at Target & Walgreens. I LOVE this brand so much! Most of their products are around $3, though many are only $1-$2. Their eye shadow primer is fantastic! I recently discovered and am hooked on their setting spray, it just sort of sets your make up in place. I do the shadow primer, then eye shadows/liners/mascaras and top it off with the spray. That shit stays perfect for 12+ hours! No lie! I also have their brush cleaner but haven’t used it yet. I just today purchased their make-up remover pen. I figure that might work better on the eyeliner mistakes I always make instead of just spit and a q-tip. Ha-ha! I love their liquid eyeliner pen for my wings. I have tried two different lip stuffs from them and one was a hit the other a miss, but at these prices it’s not so devastating when a lip color sucks. Ha-ha! They also have these incredible eye shadow palettes for like five bucks. I’ve never bought one but always look at them longingly. The colors?!?! But in the end I can never justify it. One day, perhaps.

Another affordable drug store brand. I think I’ve seen this one at Target, Walmart and at least one drug store, but I can’t recall which one at the mo. Oops! But I am a fan of the lip stain, lip gloss and nail polish (I think it’s their “New York Minute” one that is fast drying). I have a lip gloss of theirs that smells like magical cake fairies! Oh so good! I always perusethis line and usually find something worth adding to my femme-arsenal.  Again, this one is like $2-$4 there abouts. Lots of fun colors. I am always tempted to try their mascara (e.l.f.’s too, actually), but I’m kind of stuck on my current fave (see below).

Oh Wet ‘N Wild, I have literally grown up with this stuff! I swear it gets better with time, too! In fact, this old tried and true brand has impressed the crap outta me lately! They have this new-ish “Fergie” line, you know the gal from the Black Eyed Peas? Yeah, her. Well, the eye shadow primer base stuff is perfection! In fact, it works too well! My only complaint would be that it’s a tad difficult to remove at times, but I’ve figured out what works for me, I think. I put that stuff under my eye shadow and the e.l.f. setting spray on top and that shit ain’t moving for days! I will say that I can feel this primer on my lids but the e.l.f. one I cannot. Application is also more difficult with the Wet ‘N Wild brand, but it works better. I haven’t tried the Fergie lipsticks, but only because the colors are a little too bold for my complexion…or I’m a chicken shit. Ha! I love their regular mega last lipsticks and I ADORE their mega last nail polishes. They have these curved brushes that makes painting your nails, even your toe nails, a cinch! I have one of the eye shadow palettes, but nothing exciting. I’ve never tried their mascaras, but so like some of their eyeliners. I will never not check this brand’s section no matter what store I’m in.

Some stuff worth springing for (in my opinion, anyway):

My favorite mascara! Maybelline Falsies Flared (I like blackest black or black drama). I have tried so many fucking mascaras! Every time I see a new mascara commercial and I so taken in by their ridiculous claims. Top that off with my favorite celebs, Drew Barrymore and P!nk?! Not fair! But I hate them all in the end. But this baby is tried and true! DO NOT BUY THE WATERPOOF VERSION!!! It’s horrible stuff. Just putting it on was awful, felt like rubber cement, and it wouldn’t even stay on evenly. Ugh! But the regular stuff is amazeballs. I hate clumps and my puny lashes need all the help they can get and this satisfies on many levels for me.

Neutrogena On-The-Spot treatment. Even 35 year olds get pimples! This stuff works reliably without over-drying or a strong chemical smell or stinging/burning or other irritations. I’ve been buying this one for years and it’s my go-to for all things zit related. I did buy e.l.f.’s “zit zapper” roller ball pen thingy, but it’s mostly just witch hazel and it is very smelly so I don’t prefer it. This one is a bit more expensive than I would prefer, but it lasts a long time and sometimes I can find it online cheaper. Still, if I run out, I head to Target or Walmart and snag some up because I can’t be without for long.

Carmex click sticks are perfection! I buy the cherry and strawberry ones, but today I grabbed a pomegranite because it’s new and that was exciting for me. I’d been out of Carmex for three days and while I used my EOS lip ball thingy, it’s just not the same. Carmex has this creamy texture that stays on awhile and I enjoy it’s slight medicinal aroma with the cherry or berry or whatever. I don’t like the classic scent, though, it’s too strong. I put this stuff on right before bed every night, after a single sip of water, and then I turn out the light. I wake up with perfectly happy lips! I often put some on right after a shower, too, but not always. I love that it has spf 15 and I have used it for sun protection before, but generally it’s an addiction thing I have but I love it and I don’t care. Ha-ha!

I am a sucker for a good exfoliator. I’ve tried mega natural products and majorly chemical stuff, too. I’m rarely satisfied, but this one surprised me when I got a travel size for a trip once and now I keep getting it! It’s gentle enough that my sensitive skin isn’t irritated, but strong enough that I actually feel that it’s doing it’s job. The scent is mild and nice. A little goes a long way and while it’s more expensive than their apricot scrub (and seriously if you love the apricot scrub buy the drugstore brand, not the real one) I love this stuff! Sometimes I’ll cut it with some face wash I got at Trader Joe’s, but that’s a very recent development.

So, I have dandruff. Nothing to be ashamed of. It runs in my family (that’s a thing, right?) and over the years I’ve tried so many fucking things it’s maddening to consider the money spent on garbage products. I’ve tried everything on the market! Somehow this head and shoulders, just this formula, works for me. I can’t do their other ones, not sure why. But this one rocks my locks! Ha-ha! I buy the larger size bottle at Walmart, it’s literally the only place I’ve found locally that carries the larger size.

Ohmigosh! I love this stuff so much! I get the larger size with a pump at Walmart for mega cheap! It has Moroccan argon oil in it, it’s thick and rich and creamy and smells so good but not flowery or perfumey. It allows me to let my hair air dry with minimal frizz. I’ve been using this one for two years now and love the crap out of it! I’d be hard pressed to switch to something else as my regular conditioner. I used to be a die hard Pantene gal, but this stuff is so much better!

Okay, except when I wanna go curly! Ha-ha! I have naturally curly-wavy hair and while I usually try to tame/straighten it, I have days or weeks where curly is what I wanna do and so I use this Herbal Essences Totally Twisted conditioner. It works! It’s lighter than my regular stuff and lets my curls come through on their own (though I always add another product after the shower). I tried this at a friend’s place while house sitting and fell in love. I don’t care for the scent much, it is a little flowery for me, but I don’t use it often enough to be bothered by it.

I just bought these Trader Joe’s “Nourish” face wash and moisturizer. I like the wash, but I don’t get how it’s exfoliating at all. If it’s happening I’m not feeling it. I do like it, though. The moisturizer I’m still trying to figure out. It feels too light in my hand and so I do two pumps, but then I put it on my face and it feels like I’m using too much. Ugh! I’ll figure it out. They were $3.99 each which is ridiculously cheap for this type of thing. And the ingredients seem less harsh than most. I can’t afford the ones I used to get anymore. I have combination-sensitive skin which is not fun sometimes, but I do alright I guess.

I would love your thoughts, advice, recommendations and tips! I use eBay a lot, amazon, too. I shop at Big Lots and the Dollar Tree and find things there sometimes. This is just stuff I like/love or have found to be of value. I’m not able to afford/buy department store brands and never have been. I’ve tried some home made stuff, like a face scrub with baking soda, but usually end up frustrated. I’ve not been compensated in any way shape or form to review/share these brands or items with you. Just thought it’d be nice to have for future reference (for myself mostly, but maybe you’ll like it).

Thanks, as always, for reading. Do check out this blog’s Facebook page for more tips, tricks, blogs, articles, pictures, discussions, sale alerts and more! So much more! 😉

**Trigger Warning for talk of physical abuse**

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I haven’t talked about my own abuse survival in awhile. It’s not that I ever forget, but there are times when it seems so long ago that it’s as if it was in a book instead of real life. Then I’m going about my business, just doing life stuffs, when something will trigger a memory and next thing I know it’s all I can think about. I have no say or control over this. I do try to avoid things that I know will trigger any bad stuff for me. It’s difficult to know sometimes, though. Scrolling through my tumblr page (like a news feed; people/blogs you follow) when I came across a video with some rather striking comments/notes beneath it. So, I had to watch it.

I could not have prepared myself for what I was about to watch. Had you described it to me instead, I’m certain it would not have had the same effect. But watching that video brought back a flood of awful memories for me. Not in an overtly emotional sort of way, either. Really it was more of an icy coldness that washed over me. I know that life is far away from me. I know I escaped. I have an entirely new life now. That was so very long ago. And yet seeing someone in exactly the same position I was in so long ago made it feel like yesterday.

In the video you see a woman with visible bruises on her face including a black eye and split lip. In the video she instructs viewers on how to cover up bruising with make up. Her descriptions get a bit specific and obviously intended to be personal to her situation. She covers her bruising with make up and is looking into the camera when there is a sound of a door opening and closing and suddenly she freezes and jumps up and turns off the camera. Then a message comes up that says, “65% of women who suffer domestic violence keep it hidden. Don’t cover it up. Share this ad and help someone speak out.”

I was that woman. At least, I was a young woman who had to cover her bruises with make up and kept my abuse hidden. I didn’t learn to cover them because of them, mind you. No, I’d learned this time honored technique due to my love of making out in junior high school. Ha-ha! I had to cover my hickies so my dad wouldn’t see! I was the go-to gal for emergency hickey cover ups at school. Once I figured out how green can mask pinks and reds? Oh, I mastered that shit! Ha-ha! I couldn’t have known then that this fun little discovery would later save my life…or not.

I was in a physically, verbally and sexually abusive relationship from the ages of fourteen to nineteen years old. Before I realized what was happening, I was trapped in something way over my teenage head. He was twenty-one and already an alcoholic. He took over my entire life. He made me do things I never would have thought of on my own or would want to. I tried to leave many many times. I called the police. He once beat me up in front of someone whom I had considered my best friend at the time and she said and did nothing.

I don’t know that anyone could have done anything differently or had someone (anyone) reached out with a resource or support or anything, that things would have been so much better for me in the end. What I do know is that before it got really terrible, I withdrew. I had to withdraw from my usual life because he made me directly do so, but also indirectly. If anyone found out that he was hitting or raping me he’d kill me, or so he’d say about five times a day, for one reason or another. But I do see that this period may have been a window before the worst of it came and life as I knew it would never be the same again. Perhaps if you are reading this and you know someone in a fairly new relationship who has withdrawn from doing the things they love and hanging out with their friends and such, this could be a warning sign.

Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−SAFE (7233) or TTY 1−800−787−3224 
http://www.thehotline.org/ 

It’s so important to check on the people we care about. I cannot stress this enough! It is so good to hear from people when you’re feeling a bit blue anyhow, so why not reach out when you’re feeling good and share that good mood with others! You never know, you could be saving someone’s life! I can’t think of the number of times a phone call saved my life. Not just in the morale sense of it either, but also literally giving me a moment to get away from immediate harm, though that was pre-cell phone days.

This person had complete and total control over every aspect of my life at the worst points of it. He threatened to kill my family in their sleep for all manner of ridiculous and absurd reasons. He dictated how I dressed, whom I spoke to, if I left the house or answered the phone or door. I withdrew into my head and disconnected from my body and the world. Prior to meeting him I was a typical, rebellious, boy-crazed teenager. A few months later and I am trapped in my own home fearing for my life and my family’s lives.

When I called the police on him, knowing I’d be covered in bruises from his most recent attack (I’d locked myself in my bedroom with the phone to call 911), they called me a liar to my face and laughed at my abuser’s sexist jokes. I was fifteen years old! A year later when I called them again because he tried to kill me (strangled me unconscious), I was again dismissed and was then accused of purchasing fake emancipation papers (I became an emancipated minor at his insistence at age sixteen, my papers were real).

I don’t want to identify or associate myself as this sad sack story, I’m so many things and most of them awesome, but I see so much value in sharing my story and I refuse to stop. I know how hard it is to talk about this shit! It is so fucking hard! I was not expecting to have these memories triggered and come back like this. Not now. It’s been a very long time since I’ve thought about any of this, but the harder and scarier stuff especially. I’d nearly forgotten. I don’t think I ever will forget, though. Deep down I will always know what happened. I will always be the only one who knows what really happened during those years.

I hid the abuse so well. I became an actress in my own life. In my family’s home I was beat and raped by this person and blamed for it all, too. As far as I know, no one was aware of the abuse at all. I covered with grunge fashion layers and make up and a smile to prove that everything was A-OK! I told my sister a couple of years ago for the first time and she said she never even suspected, but she was five years old when this all began. I told my brother a little bit recently, just that my ex-boyfriend hit me, and he was shocked. I can’t say if my dad ever knew or suspected. He never said or did anything if he did know.

I struggle with this a lot, actually. My mom had just left my dad when I started high school (and cutting class and sneaking out and smoking pot). Suddenly he was a single dad of three. On top of that my grandfather was in the later stages of Alzheimer’s and required constant monitoring/care. For years my mom or dad would have to be there to make sure he wouldn’t roam the neighborhood searching for my grandma or get lost. I can’t blame my dad for not noticing the abuse right away with all he had to deal with then. But at the same time, when I demanded he let this abusive 21 year old move into our family home or I’d run away and he’d never see me again? I dunno. I kind of just think he should have done something major there. That was the big moment for me. I thought for sure he’d see through this charade and see what was really happening.

He didn’t. A month later my abuser saw to it that I dropped out of high school, he couldn’t stand the thought of my being around so many disgusting teenage boys. Ha! Dropping out wasn’t so terrible, I hated school and it hated me by then, but again there was a moment when someone could have and maybe should have (or so it’s been suggested to me recently) saw some sort of sign and reached out. I met with my high school counselor for the first time, right before the new school year began, it would have been my sophomore year. I told her I wanted to drop out. She said, “Goodbye.” and never made eye contact. I asked, “Do you know how I can get into independent studies? I’d rather not drop out completely.” She told me that that particular school district didn’t offer such a program. She was a liar. The following day I went to the district office and after a lot of paperwork I got into independent studies. Psshht! (I stayed in that program for the next year and a half before I found out I could never graduate with my class. So I quit and started working full time at sixteen.)

I have only recently begun to see those opportunities where I was sort of reaching out in my own way without actually saying what was happening. I think the statistic of “65% of women who suffer domestic violence keeps it hidden” is actually a conservative figure. Not all domestic abuse cases are alike, far from it, but when you understand the thought processes of those living with this constantly, you might come to see that escaping or reporting it or whatever, is not always an option. Even when you do try to tell someone they may not believe you. Or worse, they won’t want to do anything at all. They may even blame the victim. I know, it happened to me.

I don’t know how I managed to deal with all of that and start over on my own. Only that, well, I didn’t do it entirely on my own. The only way I was able to escape that horrific situation was through a friend. I was living with my abuser in a tiny bedroom in a house shared with his best friend, that guy’s grandma, and (randomly, though my abuser wasn’t aware) my first ever boyfriend who lived in the garage. This friend of mine came to visit, not sure if it was to see the first boyfriend or the grandma, well, he came to visit someone and it was also my 19th birthday. Anyway, he got a sense that something wasn’t quite right and did his best to pull me aside and offered me a room in his apartment twenty miles away. He was getting a divorce and his wife and daughter had just moved out and he had a lease and he offered me free rent if I needed it. Hell to the yes!!!

I had never even heard of the town I moved to until the day before I moved there. That friend was actually the little brother of an ex boyfriend of mine whom I used to fantasize would save me from my abuser for years! Funny how the universe likes to throw you some curve balls! Ha-ha! Sadly, I don’t think I ever truly thanked that friend for his sudden and well timed offer of escape. I don’t know if he ever fully knew how bad things were. I will be eternally grateful to him and his family for helping me through that time. A few months later I got a new job and started a whole new life. I got back in touch with friends and with time got out and did stuff again. I wonder sometimes how I survived it all, but survival is just what I know and do. It’s something you do without thinking. There were times when I didn’t want to keep going, when I wanted him to succeed in strangling me to death. I am so glad that never happened, though.

I may not be the happiest person in the world, but I am grateful for every breath I take and every day I wake up! I love having a life of my own choosing and the freedom to do with it any fucking thing I want in a given moment. Nothing is as sweet as that. I have lived what feels like three or four lifetimes, yet I feel younger than ever. I don’t know how that works, but I’m keeping it while I have it! Ha-ha! Please, stay true to yourself, take care of you! Check in on those you love, be aware of warning signs and reach out if your gut tells you something ain’t right. Don’t second guess yourself in the name of proper manners!!!

<3
S

Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−SAFE (7233) or TTY 1−800−787−3224 
http://www.thehotline.org/ 

And here’s the video:

No matter how great I’m feeling or how far I’ve come in my own self acceptance journey, there is still this one thing that irks me to no end and can have me go from calm to cantankerous in no time at all. I’m not sure what to call it, though I kind of want to come up with my own name for it now because of this, but that thing where you’re standing somewhere, being or doing or whatever, and someone comes along and while there’s a good amount of space all around you, they make a huge deal out of having to get around you somehow. I could be standing in a 30 foot by 30 foot room with nothing else in it and some motherfucker will come along and act like they have to literally squeeze by me and EEK! possibly even touch me to get by and go about their business. It’s all bullshit, too!

Shall we call it the fatphobic tango? The space face-off? The shopping cart shuffle? It does seem to happen in stores more than anywhere else. I can’t say that they would do this to a non-fat person, but it feels that way. It feels as though they’ve never encountered such gargantuan body mass that they are somehow unable to gauge not only their own necessary amount of space to move throughout the world, but also anything else’s. I’ve had folks make eye contact and try to hit me with their cart, this hasn’t happened in awhile and if it did now I certainly wouldn’t be silent about it like I used to. Or they will look like a deer in headlights, all mouth agape and eyes all wide and glazed. Bastards!

It never ceases to amaze me. It almost always irritates me. Sometimes it actually enrages me, but that’s rare now days. This afternoon I had to pop into Target for some toilet paper and Carmex (it’s an addiction) and this happened about six times as I went through the store. Kids usually aren’t an issue for me at all, most actually love me, but two kids today actually froze in their tracks to take in the sight of me. Mind you, I was in workout wear and it’s really hot today which means frizz city for my ‘do. Oh well. So fucking be it!

I did not care about a damned thing while running my errands today. I had to go buy coffee because I was all out of beans, I figured I’d get all I needed in one go and so I went about it all. Mind you, I grabbed some other essentials (note to self: write broke femmes drugstore finds post) and minded my own damned business the entire time. But I just don’t understand the fatphobic tango thing! Ugh! Does this happen to you? Does this happen to non-fats? Is it the obnoxious florescent lighting? Ha-Ha!

In the end I suppose it doesn’t really matter. I still get to come home and take off my pants and say “Fuck it!” and drink my iced coffee and re-watch “The IT Crowd” and “Black Books” on Netflix and do my best to enjoy the rest of my day.  I’m feeling calm today. It could be the heat. I did have a pretty damn good weekend with some of my favorite people. I’m just fine today, I guess. I have plans to do a face mask thingy later and possibly cook myself a fucking steak (cheap at Target, who knew?)! What are your self-care plans this week?

Thought I’d share: I’ve had Beth Ditto’s solo EP playing on repeat in my car for a week…I love it!
This video for “I wrote the book” is soooo “Justify My Love” it’s not even funny…it’s awesome! 😉
Fuck I miss the 90’s!!!

Yesterday my laptop crashed not one, not twice, not even three times. No, my laptop crashed 9 TIMES, yesterday! This isn’t the first time it’s crashed on me, but certainly not so many times in the same day. A few days ago while talking with my special geek, he asked if I’d gotten around to backing it up. “Um…no. I haven’t.” He replied, “Oh, Sarah. You should really back it up, you’ll thank me.” Well, after the fourth crash I actually said out loud, “Okay, _____, I’m backing it up now!” and chuckled to myself. And yes, then I actually did bust out my external hard drive and back that sad old bitch up (she’s like 8 years old or something).

While I was waiting for the old gal to reboot, one of many times, I randomly leaved over to the puggyman and sang, “Hey look at him, I’ll never live that way. That’s okay, their just afraid to change!” and while I seriously doubt he was appreciating my vocal styling during his precious puggy naptime (ie: all of the time), I realized that this was my theme song! It used to be “Come on a my house” by Della Reese, because, c’mon! But now I’m thinking I have an even deeper connection on more levels to Blind Melon’s “Change.” The lyrics are awesome and well, I always did have a crush on Shannon Hoon.

Last night it was just me and the dogs at home and a bottle of two buck Chuck. I cooked a nice dinner* and watched some stuffs on demand and Netflix. It took until this morning for my back up to finish, so I just tried to leave my laptop alone. I can’t say that I was sad specifically, just sort of deflated overall. Anyway, my roommate came home quite late, but I was still up so it wasn’t a big deal. She excitedly explained how she found a balloon on my car and on her friend’s car that was parked across the street. Interesting. I got a big yellow smiley face balloon and her friend got a big pink heart. She was a bit concerned about the whole thing insisting, “Why only those two cars? No one else got balloons! So weird!”

To be honest, normally that would freak me right out, too. I mean, did I tell you about the time my boyfriend sent me flowers?! Ha-ha! That was hilarious, in hindsight, but at the time I was losing my shit! For some reason the balloons didn’t affect me much, good or bad. I thought it was a cool idea/thing to do, but I know folks who would not be happy about getting a Mylar balloon, for environmental reasons. I, however, am fine with it for now. I woke up this morning, forgetting everything in my sleep, and was like, “Whoa! Oh yeah. Huh.” and that was it.  The puggyman was not impressed.

It’s already super hot today and I have zero energy or motivation. My special geek is out of town until I don’t know when, Laura wants to go dancing tonight, I’ll be drinkin’ with the boys tomorrow night and really all I can think about right now is COFFEE!!! Yeah, it’s late, I stayed up until 3 am for no good reason, which means I got up late and wonder what it’s all for. Oh well oh well oh well. It’s Friday and I’m sure once I get the appropriate levels of caffeine and sugar and solid food in my system that I will be excited about something. For now I have to will myself to get up and either make my damned espresso or go out and buy it. Ugh! Such effort! (Okay, so sarcastic, obviously it is a great privilege to even have espresso in my broke-ass life right now.) Head starting to hurt. Oh addiction, you cruel beast!

The Balloon

Note on Balloon "Ha! I made you Smile!" 🙂

Note: "Tag or Shout Out" but I didn't see anything on Twitter. Oh well.

Puggyman don't care

*My dinner consisted of sauteed baby bok choy, 5 minute pine nut couscous and an herbed chicken breast. The beauty part is a trick Raven taught me. Take a frozen chicken breast out of the freezer and lightly oil and season it and place in glass dish in 340 degree oven for 25 minutes, flip and do another 20 or so minutes. You get a perfectly cooked and juicy piece of chicken! No muss, no fuss! Woo! And it was hella tasty!