NotBlueAtAll

I'm just a fat gal with a blog and an opinion. Well, lots of opinions.

In Love with an eShakti Dress!

August10

Have you ever purchased an item of clothing that was not your usual style, yet you were for some reason very attracted to this garment and had to have it? Yeah, I did that! And holy shitballs am I in love with this dress! When I first saw it I loved the print but the peplum thing I just never even tried before. I was hesitant af! I think I even put off buying it because I was so uncertain of it looking right for me. I’m at the point where I have a pretty darn good idea what styles and cuts of dresses work best for me and this didn’t check any of my boxes. Then they had a ridiculously great sale…So I went for it!

Prepare yourselves! (If you even can!) I was really feelin’ myself in this dress. I wore it to work that day and even though I ran around the entire day, I got tons of compliments, and the dress was comfortable as hell! I love it soooooo much!!!

You aren’t ready!!!

But here we goooo…

Impish? Perhaps.

Femme fatale? You better believe it!

Boss ass bitch?! Yeppers!

Sultry seductress? When it tickles me. 😉

Positive Posey? Sometimes!

Gallant goofball? Uhhhhhhyuuup! 😛

Tantalizing Trixie? When I wanna be!

“I just can’t fight this feeling anymooooooore”

Spreadin’ my wings…I guess?!

I call this one, “Is that my boob?”

And this one, “Is that my feet?” Ha-ha!

And maybe I had a glass of wine after a really long fucking day and decided to just laugh at it all in the end…HA!

Unfortunately, I no longer see it on their site though I only bought it a couple of weeks ago. But here’s what it looked like on their site (with my custom measurements listed if you’re into that sort of thing – and yeah it was on sale and I had a gift card).

If you’ve been hesitant to try eShakti because you can’t try stuff on, I get it, but they do custom sizing for $10 more than the regular price. Sometimes they even run free customizing deals! I’ve been a customer for nearly ten years and I’m hooked! I never wore dresses before I started buying from them. Their customer service is excellent beyond my American belief! Returns? Not a problem! They even give you a lil’ more than your purchase price if you choose store credit! How cool is that?! If you wanna give it a go, here’s my referral info below, but please feel free to hit me up directly with question you may have.

The eShakti customer can refer any non-customer to eShakti, by giving a personalized referral code. The code itself has been kept simple and will essentially be the name of the referrer.

The referral code entitles the new customer to additional $15 OFF over & above the new customer offer of 33% OFF on the first purchase.

The referrer gets a $25 gift card when the referred order is shipped to the new customer.

Your personalized referral code: SARAHREDMAN

The moral of this silly fashion story is to go ahead and push yourself out of your fashion comfort zone from time to time. You might just surprise yourself with a new love! 😉

***

I’m here for realness and sincerity, honesty and vulnerability, I’m here for the good and juicy bits of life that shine for me when I know I’m heading in the right direction.

Rad Fatty Love to ALL,

<3
S

P.S. Check out and use the hashtag: #FatAndFree on Instagram & Facebook!

Check out the Fat AF podcast on your favorite podcast app for all things fat sex with me and my BFF, Michaela! (You can listen straight from the web, too!)

Donate to this blog here: https://www.paypal.me/notblueatall

My blog’s Facebook page for things I share that aren’t on this blog (updated daily): http://on.fb.me/1A18fAS 

Or get the same “shared” content on Twitter: @NotBlueAtAll

Are you on MeWe? I started a fat-feminist group there called, Rad Fatties Unlimited, look for it!

I also have an Instagram, though I don’t post much, I have been trying to: https://instagram.com/notblueatall/

And as always, please feel free to drop me a line in comments here or write me an email, I love hearing from readers. (Tell me your troubles, I don’t judge.): notblueatall@notblueatall.com

Fierce Fatty: A Book Review

August6

I don’t recall where I had first heard of the book, “Fierce Fatty” by Victoria Welsby, but I believe I saw some special offer to get it at a discount or even free. In any case, I downloaded it to my new kindle recently and finally gave it a read. It didn’t seem at first like something that would make an impact on me. It seemed to be a very fat acceptance 101 sort of book, but when I’m in a groove I can be a voracious reader. And this one I read in about an hour, and I’m not a speed reader by any stretch.
I had subscribed to the author’s newsletter (maybe that was how I got the book?), but found the positivity a bit much for my taste, at least lately. What can I say? I’m a bit of a bitter-Betty these days. Wev! I had finished Nora Ephron’s latest, “I Remember Nothing” (good!) and was not ready to be done reading for the day. I swiped through my “library” and just love the cover of “Fierce Fatty” so much that I jumped right in.
Right away her writing style struck me as very friendly and energetic. I’ve read quite a few fat related/fat authored books and this one was refreshing. The author covers a myriad of topics relating to living in a fat body, including internalized fat phobia and toxic relationships. She really gets into all of it, though not much goes very deep. I like that though.
Having been part of the fat acceptance movement for so long I was not expecting to have things framed in new ways or even a new perspective brought to light, but Victoria Welsby did just that! Things I have known for awhile suddenly were put in such a way that I was like, “Yes! Of course! Yes!” aloud on my lil’ patio. She also references and recommends other fat books that I already know and love.
I feel that this is the type of book I would give to someone new to the movement, or even just dipping their toes in, ya know? Someone who has their eyes open to what has been shoved down our throats by the media and society itself, but maybe not quite ready for all of my radicalized fat talk. (Ha!) This book could really point them in the right direction to finding their own path to loving oneself and carving out the life they really want (versus what we’re all told we should do/have/want). This book would be great for teens, I feel, too. I might even send it to my niece!
One of the biggest takeaways for me was an ah-ha moment when she starts talking about patterns, habits, and creating new neural pathways. It’s not that I didn’t know this is a thing, in fact I’ve read a lot on the subject. It is how she framed it and explained it in such an easy, and more importantly, approachable and understandable way! She uses common sense and just things we already accept as fact to show that you already know the weigh cycling industry is bullshit along with every “diet” and “lifestyle change” slung at us everyday.
I would say that if you’ve been in this movement for any length of time that you likely won’t find any really new or exciting information in the book, but it may be a helpful refresher in understanding where people are coming from when first arriving at the welcome mat of the fat acceptance movement. (Is there a welcome mat? Would it be more like the two door knockers in Labyrinth? Ha-ha!) It is an enjoyable read, regardless.
***

I’m here for realness and sincerity, honesty and vulnerability, I’m here for the good and juicy bits of life that shine for me when I know I’m heading in the right direction.

Rad Fatty Love to ALL,

<3
S

P.S. Check out and use the hashtag: #FatAndFree on Instagram & Facebook!

Check out the Fat AF podcast on your favorite podcast app for all things fat sex with me and my BFF, Michaela! (You can listen straight from the web, too!)

Donate to this blog here: https://www.paypal.me/notblueatall

My blog’s Facebook page for things I share that aren’t on this blog (updated daily): http://on.fb.me/1A18fAS 

Or get the same “shared” content on Twitter: @NotBlueAtAll

Are you on MeWe? I started a fat-feminist group there called, Rad Fatties Unlimited, look for it!

I also have an Instagram, though I don’t post much, I have been trying to: https://instagram.com/notblueatall/

And as always, please feel free to drop me a line in comments here or write me an email, I love hearing from readers. (Tell me your troubles, I don’t judge.): notblueatall@notblueatall.com

Covering Our Tracks, Not Our Rolls!

July8

^ Photo by Lisa J. Ellis ^

This past weekend was the annual Big Moves Bay Area dance show by emFATic Dance. It was the seventh year that Tigress & I have performed as a duo, and her eighth as a solo performer. The name of the show was Covering Our Tracks, as most of the songs performed by emFATic Dance were cover songs and they were fantastic! Tigress & I spent months trying to find a perfect cover song that just fit us and well, we didn’t. In the end we went with a song I came across randomly down a YouTube rabbit hole one day, Billie Eilish’s “Bad Guy”. We called our piece, “We are the ones your mother warned you about” and went with a vampy-vibe.

Tigress flew in last Saturday night and stayed with me throughout the week, diligently working on costumes and the choreography for her solo number. We had tech and dress rehearsals in the evenings and it’s almost a 2 hour drive at this point to Oakland from San Jose (Bay Area traffic is no joke!). Any other free time we had we worked on our number together and drank to our heart’s content! She also made our fascinators! So fun!

A lot of this year’s performance, at least for me, felt very chill or almost routine. I didn’t even get nervous once! Wild! We kept our choreography a bit loose and uncomplicated due to the short amount of time we had to practice, as well as the additional stress of her having to travel and stay with me during this time. We looked great, though, for sure! We worked our sassy lil’ outfits and smoked that audience right in their damned seats! It was a blast! I wish you could have seen us! And you really wish you could have seen Tigress solo number, it was electric!

I had watched some YouTube hair style tutorials last year on a simple up do and gave it another shot, despite the fact that I didn’t have all my usual tools for this. It worked out awesome! It’s basically a “pull through braid” at the back, or just a bunch of overhand knots that you keep adding the last set to as you move forward up the back of your head. When I got to my forehead I simply created a fat braid that I then fluffed up and bit before pinning in place.

I like the back to look a bit messy. I’m not a fan of an overly “done” look, ya know? But I really dig how the front turned out!

^^^^ I mean?!?! ^^^^

Oh! And this dress?!?! This dress is Calvin Klein, jersey knit in a size 24 (I’m a 26/28 usually but yay stretch!).

I bought it second hand from one of the dancers in the show and I am in love with it!

It just hugs the right places and feels extra sassy-sexy!

In case you couldn’t tell from my pics alone! Ha-ha!

And then the very next day I receive a package from my bff Mychii in Ohio with a custom made light-up nameplate for my desk at work and this lovely rose gold coffee thermos with “Fierce Fat Femme World Treasure” on it and I am just so blown away!

I needed to re-sync with my fat community. I needed to be surrounded by radical fats. I needed to see all our fat bodies on that stage lit up for the world to see our inner sparkle! It was and always is an incredible experience. To share space with such talented artists, friends, and badasses is like nothing else in this world, I promise you. And every time I think I am done or I can’t go on, one of these shows comes up and for the last 7 years it reminds me why I do it, why we all do the work that we do, for the show and in the world. It is so special.

Rad Fatty Love to ALL,

<3
S

P.S. Check out and use the hashtag: #FatAndFree on Instagram & Facebook!

Check out the Fat AF podcast on your favorite podcast app for all things fat sex with me and my BFF, Michaela! (You can listen straight from the web, too!)

Donate to this blog here: https://www.paypal.me/notblueatall

My blog’s Facebook page for things I share that aren’t on this blog (updated daily): http://on.fb.me/1A18fAS 

Or get the same “shared” content on Twitter: @NotBlueAtAll

Are you on MeWe? I started a fat-feminist group there called, Rad Fatties Unlimited, look for it!

I also have an Instagram, though I don’t post much, I have been trying to: https://instagram.com/notblueatall/

And as always, please feel free to drop me a line in comments here or write me an email, I love hearing from readers. (Tell me your troubles, I don’t judge.): notblueatall@notblueatall.com

Walkin’ in the Sunshine…Whooooah!

April12

One of the things that I have struggled with in the past has been taking regular walks with my puggo. In his youth, he’s now 9, he would get 4-7 walks a day and went to work with my ex-husband everyday. In my last two dwellings there was a big yard and another dog for him to run around and play with. In my new place, while I do have a tiny yard, I knew this would be a big hurdle for me to get over. He does just fine on his own during the day, sleeping being his main hobby, but I worried about the walks. I am happy to report that this has been mostly a non-issue for me. I love my apartment and my neighborhood is pretty chill. There are a lot of dogs, but most (or their owners) are not friendly so we keep to ourselves.

My neighborhood is mostly medical offices/buildings, which sounds boring, but we enjoy the landscaping they each have. Now that the weather has been warming up and the sun coming out more often, it seems everything is in bloom! Don’t worry, I started on my Flonase Sensimist in early February! Ha-ha! It’s gorgeous though! One problem, I’m allergic to sunscreen and burn in mere minutes. What’s a Morticia-life gal like me to do? Well, timing is everything, but I have a UV Parasol just in case, too. I prefer to take our main walk around 6pm and this has proven to be juuuuust right!

I talk a lot about my amazing group of friends and it’s no lie. They lift me up, they keep me grounded, they show me the light of my own shine sometimes when the grossness of the world dulls my ever perspective. They also give me one helluva hard time when it’s been “too long” since I’ve posted selfies or outfit photos. Ha-ha! I appreciate their love so much, y’all, I have no words to even describe it! The photos thing? Well, I’ve been workin’ on it. I no longer have my very own in-house cheerleader and personal photographer (Ash-Cat! *Hugs*) but I do have great lighting in my bathroom and the best camera on my phone ever (Pixel 3 for the win!).

Having the walk to give my brain a break after work but before I settle in for the night has been wonderful. And the changing season’s light has been very nice for my selfies. I do try to get good pics of my sweet lil’ pugtato, but he’s just not a fan of the cam, nothing I can do about that. Ha-ha! So here I present to you some pics from walks and selfies in my bathroom, because because because. Ha!

3-10-19 This was a post-Drunch selfie after I had finally found my beloved Madonna shirt I thought I had lost a few years ago. I was sober when I got home but then hit up that lovely Trader Joe’s prosecco I love so much to keep the party going! Ha-ha! (My BFF Michaela got a hilarious video that day of me dancing/lip synching “Little Red Corvette” as a result!)

3-17-19 St. Patrick’s Day I had a brunch date with a new person. It went well. We had lovely BBQ food.

This green dress is my newest from Eshakti and I love it so! I get custom sizing because you can also style it yourself. I added the puffed sleeves. 

Wish I’d gotten a full-length shot of this dress, it’s from H&M and the only thing that fit out of an order of 6 items. I get compliments on it a lot. I enjoy it’s floral pattern with fall colors (my jam!) and the midi length with not too high slits on the sides. It creates a neat-o swish when I walk.

Dorking it up, but what else is new?!

I wear these Doc Marten’s nearly every day at this point. They go with everything, are comfortable af, and are just my signature style thing!

Majestic pugtato, doing his darnedest to not look at the camera, ever! He was nice enough to climb up on this rock for after all. “Isn’t that enough, Mama?” *PuggySigh*

I have a thing for trees. In all seasons, really. 

I wish I’d gotten better shots because the colors are just glorious, but he wasn’t having any part of it. Just kept sniffin’!

This was my bombshell dress from Eshakti last year. I still love and wear it so much. It classes up any occasion and fuck yeah I’ll wear it with Doc Marten’s!

I so rarely think to take a side shot! I’m glad that I did. Double bellies to the front! 

The sun actually felt good to me that day. I can’t explain it, but I’m sure it is a normal feeling for most folks. I just rarely get the chance to actually enjoy it.

This is my favorite! Actual proof that I don’t burst into flames when in direct sunlight! Oh yeah! (Duffman voice! Ha-ha!)

Had to go to the dentist two weeks ago, this painting was in their restroom, when a fruit gusher (my first one ever) took out a crown. That one tooth will end up costing me $4600 out of pocket and that’s after my insurance pays their part. UGH!

This magnolia not two weeks ago was mostly bare branches with those big white and magenta blossoms falling from it everywhere. Now it is so lush with fresh leaves I couldn’t look away!

I never wear this top. It’s from Avenue, 3+ years ago. I always get compliments, but it’s not a favorite. The necklace, however, is a prized possession. It’s a sterling silver peace sign my father had designed/made for me when I was 12 years old. I’ll always be a hippie at heart…even if my heart is black now. 

I just love the fuck out of this meme. It’s 100% true, for me, too! I’ve had another date since that St. Pat’s one, and it also went well…and we’re meeting up for drinks tonight!!! In all honesty, though, cis-het-men are just phoning it in on the daily and I don’t have time for that bullshit. 

I hope you have enjoyed my ridiculousness. I know a couple of my BFFs will be texting me the moment they read this. Ha-ha! I love it! I love you! Thank you so much for reading my blog-a-ma-thing. I always mean to write here, to write more, to write at all, but my ideas get too big and I can’t get the words together. I’m still here, fatting it up, just doing my thing. I would love to hear from you about your life and interests or what you’d like to see here. Is there a topic you’d like me to dive into? Would you like to write a guest post? Share a Tank Top Tuesday pic? Haven’t done those in ages, but I miss it so! Wishing you all the very best in all that you do.

Rad Fatty Love to ALL,

<3
S

P.S. Check out and use the hashtag: #FatAndFree on Instagram & Facebook!

Check out the Fat AF podcast on your favorite podcast app for all things fat sex with me and my BFF, Michaela! (You can listen straight from the web, too!)

Donate to this blog here: https://www.paypal.me/notblueatall

My blog’s Facebook page for things I share that aren’t on this blog (updated daily): http://on.fb.me/1A18fAS 

Or get the same “shared” content on Twitter: @NotBlueAtAll

Are you on MeWe? I started a fat-feminist group there called, Rad Fatties Unlimited, look for it!

I also have an Instagram, though I don’t post much, I have been trying to: https://instagram.com/notblueatall/

And as always, please feel free to drop me a line in comments here or write me an email, I love hearing from readers. (Tell me your troubles, I don’t judge.): notblueatall@notblueatall.com

Going Back to Cali…I Don’t Think So!

April10

 

On March 3, 2019 I drove to SFO to pick up my BFF Michaela. You might know them from our awesome Fat As Fuck Podcast, or a bunch of other amazing things they’ve done (aka Dr. BadAss!). I was excited to see them and nervous about being a host to an out of town guest for a whole week for the first time. I had baked a cake in preparation, but ran out of time and didn’t frost it. Oh well. I put on what is now my new favorite outfit (and possible soulmate-look) I cleaned out the backseat of my car in anticipation of luggage needs and hit the highway headed north! I arrived in time to beat the line at the airport Starbucks (text her for their order) and waited patiently for their gloriousness to arrive.

I had a vague plan for each day of their visit with plenty of room to just chill out or shoot the shit or random distractions. We headed straight to Drunch with my BFF “P” from the airport and even had to push the reservation back a bit. Good food and plentiful mimosas were enjoyed by all! Then we got back to my place and I frosted the hell outta that cake! Ha-ha! I am a nervous host, but had read some articles about preparing one’s home for guests and how to make them feel more welcome.

The next day we hit up 2 different Ross (Dress for Less) and 1 Home Goods store and lemme tell you all right here and now: Michaela has hella good Ross luck! I found items I had been longing for and at incredible prices! We had yummy Thai food for lunch and laughed a ton! The next day, unfortunately, I was feeling like hot-soggy-garbage and had to pretty much stay in bed. We had made plans to visit their college friend and hit up the Alameda Pinball Museum together. Instead they came down to pick up Michaela and brought me a lovely and very unexpected bouquet of flowers. They spent the day together lunching and caught a movie while I rested and tried to feel human again. Win-win!

The next day they were feeling a lil’ crummy, so we took it easy and hit up Daiso that afternoon after enjoying a delightful Japanese BBQ place nearby. Daiso is a Japanese housewares store, only everything is $1.50 (unless otherwise marked). I friggin’ love Daiso! My BFF “Q” and I used to talk about starting a Vlog called, “Daiso Life” because we love it so much. I do not have any pics of our loot from that shopping trip, but just know that we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves and found lots of fun home-y items. Ha-ha!

I had gotten us tickets to an experience thing in San Francisco as a surprise! I lucked out with a Groupon, too, or it would have been quite spendy! It was a 2-part thing in a venue called One Dome. One part was called Hidden Garden and was an augmented reality, interactive experience. You wear these VR-like things on your face, only it’s different and you can “interact” with and “unlock” things as you progress. It’s not really a game, but had that vibe. It was created by many digital artists and you could even unlock info about them as you went along. Since this was all in the headset thing I don’t have any pics to share except the one with our dorky visors, but don’t fret, the other part of this was pic-tastic!

The second part of this “experience” was called LMNL and was basically just 14 rooms with different stuff happening in each. Fun times! We took turns using my Pixel 3’s camera (because it rocks!) and gave each other direction in how to pose or evoke, if you will. We had a friggin’ blast! Their outfit was perfection for these purposes as you can plainly see! Ha-ha! I loved the striped room best I think, but we made use of most of the rooms. It was expected that you take pics and selfies, much like the Color Factory or Ice Cream Museum you may have seen pics of on Instagram.

That Friday we had Drunch again but with “The Boys”, meaning both “P” and “J” (the usual Drunch crew, minus Tom) and had another grand ole time of ourselves! Michaela ordered the Chilaquiles and I think we were all envious!  After we went to Peet’s for some much needed caffeination and I snapped a pic of me and P (a rare one without my glasses!). Once sobered up (whew!) we headed to what I thought would be a fantastic photo op spot in Santa Clara where they have these huge spectacles made of recycled glass outside the museum. Well, it was fun anyway. Ha!

Later that evening we met up with a mutual friend and fatty dancer for pizza in Mountain View. I snapped the pic above of Michaela in the red jacket, so hot! Yet time flew by and the next thing we knew it was time to pack up and to head back to SFO again. It was hard to believe that we spent an entire week together, just fattin’ it up and doing our thing, but we did. And for that I am truly grateful! And this lil’ guy had a blast getting all kinds of love and attention from Mychii, his new BFF!

I cannot express in words the feeling of knowing, loving, and sharing intimate space and experiences with someone who is also a radical fat activist and bad ass. I’ve known Michaela for over ten years, first on Live Journal, later on all the things. They were my first guest on my own podcast, years ago, they popped my Skype cherry, were the first to call me a Bad ass ever, and now we have a podcast together! Life is nuts, but it is the people in it that make it so much better and brighter! (I love you, Babes. Five-Ever & Vadgie-D, Biiiiiiitch!)

Rad Fatty Love to ALL,

<3
S


P.S. Check out and use the hashtag: #FatAndFree on Instagram & Facebook!

Check out the Fat AF podcast on your favorite podcast app for all things fat sex with me and my BFF, Michaela! (You can listen straight from the web, too!)

Donate to this blog here: https://www.paypal.me/notblueatall

My blog’s Facebook page for things I share that aren’t on this blog (updated daily): http://on.fb.me/1A18fAS 

Or get the same “shared” content on Twitter: @NotBlueAtAll

Are you on MeWe? I started a fat-feminist group there called, Rad Fatties Unlimited, look for it!

I also have an Instagram, though I don’t post much, I have been trying to: https://instagram.com/notblueatall/

And as always, please feel free to drop me a line in comments here or write me an email, I love hearing from readers. (Tell me your troubles, I don’t judge.): notblueatall@notblueatall.com

« Older Entries
Subscribe to my feed