After now watching a couple of more episodes of Rosie O’Donnell’s new show I am not so sure she is self-accepting or representing us fatties. The second episode featured Wanda Sykes and Gloria Estefan. I love Wanda like nobody’s business. She is such an amazing woman and hilarious to boot! And I was just saying the other day, “I wonder what Gloria Estefan is doing right now?” I’m random like that…did you just get here? Ha-ha! But seriously, Gloria was talking with Rosie and insisting that she will teach her to wear Spanx and Rosie seemed very enthusiastic. While I disagree with Ms. Estefan’s insistance that they add protection when using public restrooms <she said you don’t need a toilet seat protector when you wear the kind with snaps in the crotch which I find disgusting because then you’re just absorbing whatever’s on that seat onto your Spanx. Ugh!> but the fact that Rosie sounds excites pissed me right off. The previous episode NOT wearing Spanx was something she was proud of and stood up for. Was she just being nice? Ugh! In that same episode, during her opening stand-up, she began taking questions from the audience who asked what would be her own Ben and Jerry’s creation. To which she said it already existed and it’s “Chubby Hubby” and how “that’s not great for my diet.” WTF?!

In last night’s episode <I’m watching them after my husband goes to bed>, Roseanne Barr was her guest and damn do I love her, too! And she looked amazing! She tells it like it is, always. That is what I aspire to be, man. Just straight up honest, no matter the audience. It’s liberating! And fortunately there was no fat talk what so ever. There was menopause talk, which I think is great because it’s still such a taboo topic which is hella bullshit, but Rosie and Roseanne now use the bio-identical, plant derived, hormone cream. I don’t know enough to have an opinion on the subject, but I like that they talked about it. Oh, but in the opening Rosie was talking about Chaz Bono’s performance on Dancing With The Stars, saying how fit he is and how he ran up these stairs in the performance and how she could never do that, “I’m not fit” she said plainly. I find this interesting because Chaz appears to be bigger than Rosie. Rosie thinks Chaz is more fit than she. It’s a tiny hint of radical in it’s way. To say a fat body can be fit! It can! But it’s rare to hear that on television.

What bothers me now is Rosie’s outfits. It may be a comfort thing for her, it may be a pressure to cover up thing, I don’t know, but the shapeless black swaths of fabric she’s been wearing are bumming me out. Look, I get it, she is a mom of four and if not for having to appear in front of cameras would be a lovely butch in a t-shirt, jeans and crocs. I prefer her this way. She seems more truly herself. So, why not incorporate some of those elements into her wardrobe for the show? You may think this tacky, but I think you can get pretty fucking creative with that shit. Look at Ellen! She’s not into getting all glammed up, but she’s found a way to work her wardrobe to her taste and still be presentable and herself. I want to see this in Rosie’s wardrobe. She’s too great a person to be hiding behind such ugly fashions. I think some indie designers could tackle this and knock her socks off, and mine! Allow her to be comfortable with just a touch of something to step up the look. Not all fat gals can accessorize, mind you, but I think she’s got a staff for that shit, right?!

I am disappointed on the fatty front. I will keep watching though. I want to see how her show evolves as there are bound to be changes. She reads her reviews and celebrates, very openly, the positive ones. I’ve said little about the show itself, mostly because I like it. I am not so into her Game Show bits at the end, but I’m not turning them off either. So something must be right. I love her band and it’s leader/vocalist Katrice. She wrote “Dick in a Box!” The show is good. I just wish she’d end the body hate and just own her glorious fat body. She seems to appreciate and celebrate all people, I hope she can soon find a way to love herself, just as she is, right now. Fat, fabulous and funny!

Not just a fabulous band name (hey wanna start a band?!), but last night I watched the new Rosie O’Donnell show on OWN. Okay, well, I taped it and watched it later. I cannot stand commercials. Can ya blame me? Anyway, I was watching and right in her opening monologue/stand-up she mentioned “fatties” and then said, “I mean that in a loving way” and I have to say, I’m not sure how anyone else took it, but I love it! Rosie is representin’ without shame! Woo Hoo!

Okay, specific quote to come here…

She’s talking about how she had to have a microphone (with a stand, as she gestures) for her monologue/stand-up at the beginning of the show, because she’s been a stand-up comedian since she was sixteen years old and now she’s forty-nine and all and she sees Jimmy Fallon and Jay Leno and kind of makes hand gestures like they would. She mentions not knowing what to do with her hands and so she had to have the microphone.

“I like to have the mic, too, so I won’t do that chubby person shirt pull. Are you familiar with this? Anybody? All of the plus sized people, all of the fatties like me, and I mean that in a loving way…We do this (grabs front of shirt with pinchy fingers and pulls) I don’t even realize I do it, but I do it a lot. I watch myself –Why? Why do we do this? Is there such a big difference …it’s like this, oh no no not appealing, but this way Oh she’s Pippa Middleton look at her she is so svelte and fantastic. Just pull the hell out of…I don’t think Diane von Fürstenberg design for that, I dunno.”

And just like that…she’s a self-accepting fatty! I love it! I mean, it can’t be fake, right? I hope it’s not. In fact, I’m considering writing her a letter. I am not yet sure what I want to say, but I appreciate the fact that she’s okay even saying the word “fatties” let alone associating herself with it AND saying it’s in a “loving way.” She later said when asked by an audience member about what she’s proudest of she said of course her kids, “that and the fact that I’m not wearing Spanx right now. I’m very proud of that. Because I had to stand up to my wardrobe terrorist, who insisted I wear Spanx. Are you familiar with these? They’re horrible. They’re a torture device. I’m sure they use them at Guantanamo. I don’t k now what the hell–”

That’s right! She fought to not wear Spanx! How rad is that? Well, I think it’s pretty rad. You so rarely hear about people not wanting to wear these things let alone question what the point of them even is. I love it. I love her, I have a good feeling about the show. Mind you, it didn’t hurt me one bit that her first guest was Russell Brand. He’s delightful. I am fascinated by him. Not in an obsessive way, no I save that for other blokes for sure, but I enjoy him. I haven’t seen “Arthur” or even “Get Him to The Greek” but I just like him. I found the conversation between him and Rosie to be cute and funny, if not a bit stiff. It was live after all, so perhaps nerves?

So, what should I write to Rosie? I’d love your suggestions! What were your thoughts on her first episode?

After watching Ken Burns’ PBS series “Prohibition”  this week (three parts, each two hours – you can watch online at the link), it is no small wonder to me how anyone could see the similarities between the 1920’s and now. I would venture that every era, every generation has some social swell of some specific issue or struggle to address and/or overcome. Why, right now, we’ve got a tome’s worth! I am thinking about our social climate. Our financial struggles. The environment. Our prison industrial complex. So many things all going down those proverbial tubes. We’re all scratching our heads, clenching our fists, muffling our sobs and hoping beyond all reasonable hope that something will give, something will improve…it has to!

Prohibition began as a moral movement. Basically, how I took it, was a religious/conservative group gathered and organized on the platform that alcohol consumption led to corruption, prostitution, spousal abuse and other criminal activities. They believed the only solution was to prohibit, enforce and criminalize alcohol in all of its many forms. Does this sound familiar? No? Okay, consider for a moment the bootlegging that took the place of saloons and brewers. Many people died as a direct result of the illicit ways people got and distributed the booze. Think of the doctors prescribing whiskey as medicine, if you knew the right doctor that is, medicinal use being legal even after the nationwide ban on alcohol. Yet the consumption of alcohol itself wasn’t technically illegal. In fact you could make your own wines at home as many families did back then.

Many saw prohibition as a direct attack on immigrants who held fast to their cultures and rituals and often saw nothing at all wrong with alcohol. Suddenly self-appointed rabbis of any background were enjoying their own private supply as this, due to its religious significance, was also still legal. Soon petty thieves found themselves knee-deep in opportunity and flush with loads of cash for any and all liquor they could get their hands on. With this money came power they hadn’t the conscience nor education to put to good use (my opinion mind you). And basically, all hell broke loose! Speakeasies were raided, people were killed in clumsy displays of not in my backyard and many were jailed for periods far outweighing their crimes.

Sound familiar yet? Okay, let me put it this way, there are a lot of problems we currently have in this country. Many of these same problems were happening back in the twenties, too. The solution for the lack of jobs, floundering economy, a country overcome by unemployment and despair: end prohibition! How did they do it after such a long and successful battle by those who sought to turn this country into some sort of moral compass for the world? They found the right woman for the job! She had money, connections, charisma, power and above all else, she was fearless!

Right now we could fix a lot of our problems both environmental and economic. We need sustainable products to replace things like cotton, paper, oils, etc…we need to create jobs and fast…we need new revenue to get our deficit down and our economy flowing again! The solution: end prohibition…of cannabis!!! Think about it, it got its bad name and reputation because of a certain media mogul of those same roaring twenties: William Randolph Hearst! Hemp threatened his empire and so he sought to destroy it and whoa did he?! This may be my lay person’s grasp of it, but he did more than just destroy the industry itself. What he did (or eventually happened) was outright demonize not just hemp but cannabis itself in all of its various forms and uses.

There in lies the problem. Our prohibition of cannabis has turned petty crooks into power hungry lunatics. Ordinary citizens into life-sentence-serving prisoners thanks to steep drug laws, ravenous politicians and corrupt law enforcement and judges…not to mention California’s three strikes law. Ugh! That needs to be repealed, man. By ending prohibition on cannabis and repealing all laws to restrict, enforce, criminalize, stigmatize and whatever else they’ve chosen to throw at us, we could actually improve our entire socioeconomic situation!

New taxes! State-run dispensaries! Safer access! Hemp fiber industry jobs! We could actually bring manufacturing back to the USA with hemp. We could corner the market and find new ways to use the stuff. My husband was just telling me about the dire situation every winter in the colder parts of our country where senior citizens are forced to choose between heating oil and other necessities due to the endless rate hikes in oil. Hemp seed oil would be so much cheaper! Hemp is stronger than cotton, too. My grandpa had an old hemp rope that seemed a thousand years old. Ha-ha!

After watching the final installment of “Prohibition” last night I told my husband that what was needed to end the prohibition of cannabis was the right person to represent the movement. Someone with charisma and power. Someone well-connected and hopefully with lots of money! Someone who understood the impact and improvements possible with its repeal. I don’t know who that person could be, but I do believe that this simple thing could truly help us as a nation. If we can just step away from the stigma of it and focus on the hard facts, I think it could make a real difference.

I know that this post has absolutely nothing to do with fat, but it was on my mind in a big way. I spent the first part of this week very depressed. I’m not sure I’m out of it completely yet, certainly the police activity in my area has not been great for my anxiety and paranoia, but part of it is absolutely the economy and how it has ravaged my life and those I love. The arguments against cannabis are preposterous, absurd and full of stereotypes and stigma. I have yet to actually meet a person who is anti-cannabis. Even people who have never used it recreationally (as a drug or whatever) still understand its many varied and great uses and how it could improve our economy. It is something I believe in made all the more clear thanks to Ken Burns and his fabulous documentary series. I admit that I have always felt a deep connection to the prohibition era and it will always be an important era in my heart and mind. But that my lovelies is a post for another day…

Thank you for reading. Do share your thoughts on the topic. I would love to hear your suggestions, too. Take care of YOU!

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My interview outfit from last night. Ugh! You can’t really tell, but the tights are a violet purple. I’m wearing t-strap mary jane docs (with a chunky square heel). The dress is from Eshakti (I don’t see black available but it’s come back before, also, splurge and get the custom sizing for $7.50, it’s so worth it!). Clutch is Avenue from several years ago and the headband, as always, from Ross (dress for less).

I don’t know if I got the job. The whole thing was a bit strange and not in the awesome way I had hoped. I couldn’t read the interviewer well and while I think she liked me, she seemed to believe the job was  beneath me. I am sick of that! Just give me a job, people! Who cares if my talents and abilities are beyond what the job will utilize, let me suffer through it if I must! Ha-ha! But she did say I was the most elegantly dressed interview she’d had all week. My response, “Thank you! I’ll remember that!” What? I know! I say silly things that make no sense to me. When I said that to my husband he said, “Well, you will remember that.” He’s right. ha-ha! Oh well.

I’m not terribly excited about the job anymore. Turns out I had it confused with another job listing. Ugh! My brain! She fucks with me sometimes. I am quite embarrassed actually. So, the job listing I thought it was, was for a “Bad Ass” admin…the job I interviewed for yesterday? “Office manager/admin” Shit! I wrote the word “Bad Ass” all over my screening submission! I’m an ass! Oh well. It wasn’t as creative/exciting a place as I’d imagined anyway. It was kind of fun to get excited about something so unknown for a minute and I did school them on “the obesity epidemic” bullshit they’d bought into prior to my submission. To quote a White Stripes song, “Oh well oh well oh well!”

It’s Friday! I’m in a good mood despite the fucked up and weird week I’ve had and just chillin’ with my puggyman today:

Also, going to finally test out my new and bizarre espresso machine this weekend! Just gotta get a couple of supplies this afternoon and I’m set. What beans did this connoisseur of coffee ultimately buy? The Garuda Blend from Peet’s! Ha-ha! I can’t get enough of that stuff (whole bean always and forever babies!)!

Many years ago (let’s just leave it at more than ten), a friend of mine took a women’s studies class in college and was just beginning to tell me about it. And sadly, my knee-jerk reaction was something along the lines of, “Fuck that femi-nazi shit!” *HeadDesk* I’m really sorry “Q”! I see the error of my ways now.

You see, I used to believe that women weren’t to be trusted. That I couldn’t get along with them or they me. That somehow I just couldn’t “put up with their bullshit” and well, I was all kinds of wrong. I mean? Well, I’m a woman, why on earth did I feel this way? How did I get so off-course? *Sigh* It happens. I didn’t have a strong female figure in my life growing up and certainly, for awhile at least, every gal I got close to would hurt me. So I made up this strategy/philosophy and let it dictate my own fears and comforts for many many years.

As I get older and wiser (one hopes anyway), I learn more and more about how the media/marketing and all sorts of other influences can make us hate our own gender. My husband often apologizes for the crimes against women, humanity and nature on behalf of his gender. I didn’t used to feel so loyal or affiliated with my own gender. But that all changed the further I got into the fat liberation (acceptance) movement. How could I continue to distance myself from an entire gender when it was the very group who were inspiring me everyday? The short answer: I couldn’t!

The at liberation (acceptance) movement has shown me time and again new ways of thinking and being and feeling. Not in some cultist way, mind you, but in very positive, common sense and even life affirming ways. I had no idea what I was missing out on! Not having a nurturing figure in my life (well, that’s a complicated story for another time), I missed out on lots of things and am only now figuring out things like eyeliner and tights and stuff like that! More so, the deep love and compassion a woman can give to another in a way that is neither sexual nor sisterly.

And I fucking love women! Women get shit done! Women are known for talking/chatting/gossiping? Huh! More like planning, organizing, plotting! I never used to believe in or apply the label to myself, but dammit, I’m a modern feminist! I’m not afraid to tell the world. No matter how weighty that word can be (and how convoluted it’s become sadly), feminism to me is simply believing in equality…for all! Go read my “about” page and you’ll see that that is a major thing for me. And I have no patience or tolerance for hate, not from the world and not from anyone in my life! None. Life is too short and too awesome to waste on that shit. And if you’re someone who spews hate at “skinny bitches” and shit like that? Check yourself, hun, please?! It’s judgment, plain & simple! And unnecessary! We need to get beyond this.

Now? Now I have more female than male friends (big switch from my past). Now I know some of the most beautiful, smart, powerful, creative, talented, wondrous women in the world! Women who fuel my passion for fat liberation. Women who inspire me and motivate me. Women who bare their souls to me without ever meeting me. Women who have survived horrible abuses who live to see another day and share their stories so that maybe just one woman will be saved from that pain. Women who lay their own lives on the line in the name of justice. I know these women. I am these women. You are these women! And we are an amazing species that have evolved and adapted and grown over millions of years.I am so proud to be a woman because of all of you.

I see men in a different light, too. Men who have touched my heart and my life in ways I didn’t think possible. Men who will just as quickly lay their lives on the line for our cause. Men who believe in supporting us and letting us shine or stepping up and helping in any way that they can. We need them just as much as they need us. This isn’t a competition. This is nature. The nature of our species and the nature of our world. Thank the stars above we have this very moment to breathe it all in and relish in the knowledge that we can choose to help and care for each other rather than battle. And I feel for the guys who didn’t or don’t have women to teach/show them things to help them understand the world, themselves and women, too.

I recently heard someone say that you can always tell when a guy grew up without sisters or women around. It made me think about it for awhile. It’s scary! To only really see one side of the world (in a way)? It is no wonder than many guys see feminists the way I used to. And I can say that they just haven’t been exposed! They haven’t seen the truth! I highly recommend this book to anyone who is even slightly interested, “Misogyny: The World’s Oldest Prejudice” (and you can get it for a steal!). I had no idea how long and how awful women were treated and why they were treated so terribly.  It is a great read, educational for sure, but informative in ways I hadn’t imagined.

Thank you for reading. Take care of YOU!