I have been carrying small clutches and wrist-lets instead of a purse or messenger bag since I sold the cafe. Monday I was focused on tying up as many loose ends as I possibly could before starting the new j-o-b the next day. I cut my nails, I bought things for breakfasts and then I wanted to get together the things I may want or need for when I’m at work. My water bottle came to mind first, but then I always want a notebook and since I’ll have a lunch break I want my book club book (we’re reading Jane Austen’s “Northanger Abbey”) and things I already had in my clutch like chapstick and a Tide pen and a sharpie and lip gloss and you know…things I usually need. But this new commuter load needed a new vessel!

I have a drawer that is full of nothing but purses. They vary in size, shape and color and have accumulated over the years but has recently dwindled. Mostly because I have been preferring smaller and smaller bags. Also because some were so worn or damaged that I could no longer justify their sentimental value. Some I will never give up, like the green corduroy hobo bag I bought on my honeymoon when we were in Paris! Others were gifts from friends or handmade delights. I realized that I used to be bag crazy the way some gals (okay, me too) go nuts for shoes!

I had forgotten about this part of myself. I had to carry so many things to and from the cafe and my apartment that I went from my stylish and seasonal collection of bags, even some custom babies, to a plain, brown corduroy messenger bag. I decorated it with some of my pin-back button collection of course. But style? Not so much. And then after I sold the cafe I wanted to really pare down any and all baggage in my life! So of course I went for small clutches and wrist-lets and such. I was subconsciously trying to break free from all of the stress the last three years were on me. It feels good to acknowledge that.

This period of time right after New Year’s day always leads to reflection and deeper thinking. I know that’s not just me. But it feels quite different for me this year. I feel more hopeful, more positive, more open and just fucking ready to DO ALL THE THINGS! I feel more accomplished and more prepared for life and all of it’s surprises than I ever have before. January for some reason has always been hard for me. Things in my life tend to fall apart in January and/or October. Could be planetary, could just be me, could be bullshit…but I tend to hide myself away from the world this time of year because of that. But not this year!

2012 (Woo!), is going to rock! It started out fantastic and I have this gut feeling that this is just the beginning of a great year! And I trust my gut, always! I rang in the new year wearing my fat necklace in a strapless gown, shaking my fat ass and not giving a damn! Revoloosh! I feel a sense of freedom from the past. I feel like the opposite of a failure and a loser and a dropout. I feel triumphant! I don’t know what I triumphed, but fuck it!

The purse I’ll be carrying and has now changed my perspective is by Relic. I’d gotten it at Kohl’s a few years ago. I remember it because my husband and I drove to several locations to find the black one. It was the perfect bag! It’s a great size, shoulder strap length was just right…it’s stylish and a little sexy with a touch of elegance. It’s moi! Ha-ha! But seriously folks, I had purchased this bag and barely used it and now I am rewarded for my past efforts by having it handy and ready to rock ‘n roll! I don’t know why this has me so stoked, but it does. I wish I had a picture to share, but my camera is not cooperating. I don’t think it would look as lovely as it is to me, anyway.

This silly purse represents new beginnings with a foundation set firmly upon my own skills, talents and abilities! It is my lasso of truth or my utility belt. I feel more confident and ready. And isn’t that something we all want? I guess I didn’t know I wanted it or how to articulate it until now. Perhaps I just feel unafraid of possibilities now. I recall a time when that would seem a dream on it’s own. It’s certainly not a destination I had in mind, but it feels good to be in this new head space.

Since many parts of the world are getting colder right now I thought why not try something different than the old Tank Top Tuesday posts and go in the opposite direction: Winter Wear! I also hope to do a coat shopping guide/options post soon.  Please see below for information on how you can submit your own pics and info for future posts. Thanks.

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This week’s submission comes from Amy!

I’m obsessed with fashion and love following your -and so many more!- plus size blogs.  I got all inspired by all the other plus size bloggers and just started my own: http://www.leighamy.com   Here are my new boots I was strutting around in today.

I think the most important part of feeling good about yourself, is to celebrate yourself and to not think in terms of “what you’ve got”/”what is good” but rather in terms of “what you’ve got to celebrate” / “all of it is good.”

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Thanks Amy! You look fabulous and glamorous! Woo!

I am taking submissions from anyone who wants to participate in “Fats in Winter Wear” posts! Email your pics here: notblueatall@notblueatall.com, please include the name you’d like in the post, a blog or etsy shop you wanna plug, your thoughts on winter wear or other fatty philosophies. Have fun with it!

For additional content, links, aricles, stuff and more, please “Like” the blog’s Facebook Page. Thanks!

How are you? No really, how are you feeling right now? I’m feeling pretty damned good, I must say. This past week has given me time to reflect and appreciate what I have and those I love. I haven’t done much, physically, but only because my left knee has been completely fucked…certainly not because I was lacking in spirit. These last few days hanging out with my husband and our puggyman and our tabby-cat and our BFFs and just all of it. The wine and food and laughs and games and fun and silliness! You know what? That is the spice of life, silliness! To be so at ease with yourself and whomever you are in proximity to just let go and be silly? That is the raddest thing of all!

Tomorrow night my friend Jeanette and I are hitting up a local BBW club for their NYE party. I’m so excited! I’m so nervous! That is so weird, I don’t really get nervous anymore. But it feels a bit like prom or something. I’ve never gone out on NYE. Well, okay, to friends’ houses or whatever, but never dressed up and never to a big fab party! We both bought dresses for it and are talking about up-dos and sparkly shoes and it’s so fun! I feel girly! I don’t often get to engage this side of me so it feels strange and adventurous! I will no doubt have many pictures to share, but more importantly, the experience itself. I know so many aren’t able or aren’t confident enough to do things like this. But this is why I do it!

I do it to show that you can even be a death fatty like me and have a great NYE or dress up and go out dancing or anything your heart desires! I do it to normalize fatness. I do it to feel fucking awesome! I do it to push back against the haters that would have us all hidden away or worse! When I try a new style of fashion that I’ve never seen on a fat person, I am pushing boundaries for myself and others. I love that! When I am unafraid and unapologetic about myself and my size? I am throwing a big middle finger to anyone who thinks that I should just shut up and conform!

That is punk rock, baby! And PUNK WILL NEVER DIET!!!

I hope that you have a safe and fun NYE no matter what you do. I hope that you will refuse to engage in the self-hating ritual of resolutions and consider ReVolutions instead! Check out some resources at that link or : revolutionsresources.blogspot.com

I do think that even small acts can create a ripple effect and together we can make a big fatty wave of positive goodness! I hope 2012 treats us all much better than 2011 did. I for one am glad it’s over and done with. I am hopeful for the coming year and it’s endless possibilities and opportunities. Here’s to you and yours! Aand Cheers to all on Earth!

revolutionsresources.blogspot.com/

Since many parts of the world are getting colder right now I thought why not try something different than the old Tank Top Tuesday posts and go in the opposite direction: Winter Wear! I also hope to do a coat shopping guide/options post soon.  Please see below for information on how you can submit your own pics and info for future posts. Thanks.

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This week’s Fats in Winter Wear submission comes from Courtney:

It was Date Night with my man, so I dressed up all pretty for him. ^.^
~ Courtney M.

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I am taking submissions from anyone who wants to participate in “Fats in Winter Wear” posts! Email your pics here: notblueatall@notblueatall.com, please include the name you’d like in the post, a blog or etsy shop you wanna plug, your thoughts on winter wear or other fatty philosophies. Have fun with it!

For additional content, links, aricles, stuff and more, please “Like” the blog’s Facebook Page. Thanks!

While my husband and I didn’t celebrate x-mas yesterday, we did have our nearest and dearest over for a lovely potluck Sunday dinner. It was grand! It felt decadent in the least possibly sinful sort of way. I mean, everything was made with such love and care and was delicious. We drank, we talked, we listened to music and played a party game. It felt like this is the reason to be around this planet. It felt like connecting with people was truly the purpose of life. But I spent a lot of time drinking last night, so don’t worry, not trying to get too mystical on ya! Ha-ha!

I won’t lie though, I did feel like something was missing or amiss. What can I say? I feel left out of all of the good parts of this time of year because I refuse to participate in the bad. Ignorance is truly bliss, I guess. I used to get really caught up in the spirit of it all, especially as a teen, though I’m not sure why. That magic has been lost to me now. But getting to hang out with my friends is such a special treat that I’d feel like an ass not to be mega-grateful!

Here it is the next morning and all I can think about is when we get to hang out again, which is this Thursday! Ha-ha! We will be having our third annual “Donut-Pajama-Video Game Day!” You can guess the point of this time honored tradition. Though any excuse to hang out in ones bed clothes other than illness is always a good one in my book. And I’ll be starting my new job on Monday. Wow!

So, regardless of the “day” and all, I wanted to wear green for some reason…so I did:

I don’t know much about the outfit. The dress was from Nicole, the top was Target from ages ago…The lip gloss I’m in love with though!  It’s NYC Liquid Lip Shine in Midtown Mulbury and it smells like fucking vanilla cupcakes! And the color is perfection! Damn I love cheapy cosmetics! Though if anyone can recommend a GOOD eyeliner, do let me know. I keep trying new ones and they suck.

Anyway, I hope you had a lovely weekend and if you’re still off work, do enjoy your time off and do something extra special for yourself. Thanks.