Sometimes when you step outside your comfort zone you can sort of lose yourself in the moment. I sort of caught a glimpse of my reflection and didn’t recognize myself. It surprised me, but I liked what I saw versus what I was thinking. It was an interesting moment. Life is a tricky thing and perception can be trickier. But I also think that things do happen for a reason. We can’t always see beyond the moment we’re in at the time, but can begin to come together in unexpected ways, too.

I get so caught up in my own thoughts from time to time that I can literally stress myself out sitting still! Not healthy! I needed to do something. It was eating me up inside. Time, after so many years, can lose it’s reliable pace. Childhood summers often felt endless while winter break always seemed so fleeting. We work full time and forty hours can feel like torture. The monotony of life can weigh us down and we may not even realize it. Soon we’re simply part of the machine or system or matrix…

It takes something unexpected to jolt us back to reality. It takes an event, a tragedy, a person, a gift, a stumble, a windfall. Something occurs and you can’t understand how you ended up where you are. It’s like you’ve just been walking and forgot what your destination was. I turned around and looked at where I was and was surprised that I was where I am. It made me sad. It made me depressed. It made me angry and I began to fight back, but without knowing what I wanted I couldn’t find my next step.

So I faced some fears. I stared them in the face and said, “I just don’t care!” I have to finally live for me. I have to be my most authentic self and grow! Being miserable was never a life goal, so what if that’s how I spent a lot of my time. I always thought I’d get beyond that old shit. I just never did. It was always there, holding me back. I had been so depressed it began to affect my health. I had no appetite. My gust were in knots. My digestion a disaster. I didn’t enjoy things any more. Life just became a routine again. I looked back and realized that the cafe was so awful because it sort of concentrated these feelings into a full time job. That isn’t how I wanted it to be.

I’m not looking for riches. I’m not looking for fame. I’m not looking for anything but my own journey here. I know that I need to break out on my own and see what I can do. It terrifies me and excites me! If I fail now, I do it on my own terms. If I succeed, same thing. This is life! I can “ride my own melt” and find pleasures wherever I seek them. I don’t know what new adventures and challenges this will bring, but that is okay. I’m doing it and I’m in it, for me. <3

I know the secret to being hot shit! Anyone can do it, it’s easy if you try, just get on our on the dance floor and let that shit fly! Okay, sorry…but it’s true! I think the big secret to being sexy, to feeling sexy, to being seen as sexy? You just gotta believe it! Be it! And if you’re not there yet? Fake it until you are! I’m serious!

I don’t care if you don’t know how to dance a certain way or if you’re not usually the type to dance, we all have this inner dance, like a happy dance or a hearty frolic! A jig! Whatever it is you do or shake or shuffle when you feel awesome! THAT! That is what makes you sexy! Well, no…you’re already sexy! YOU ARE ALREADY SEXY AS HELL!  You may not be able to see it through the bullshit society piles on us all, but it’s there and you are! When you believe it, when you walk with a strut or hold your head high or smile easily, that is sexy as hell!

When you are doing things for you, and only you? When you are in the zone and being the truest form of you? Nothing can stop it, you’re hot! Now own it! Flaunt it! Rock it! Wear it on your sleeve or tucked into your back pocket, but work that shit out! Dance it or shake it or find a way to exude that energy inside of you! Find a pleasureful movement and do it often! Crank up the tunes and pump up the jams! Find your theme song! Choose your mantra! Scream and shout it!

Because you fucking deserve to feel fantastic everyday! You are worth so much and wasting time on hating yourself or others is only holding you back! Step outside of your comfort zone, do something completely new! Find the funny story in an awkward situation and celebrate it! Do something silly or awesome? Shout, “Revoloosh!” and hold up a fist! And laugh your ass off! Laughing is required! Silly is necessary! Smiling is life! Belly bump! Hip bump! Whatever!

We’re all so serious these days, but having fun is fucking free! Feeling good is free and it tastes like freedom! And nothing tastes as good as rocking out to your own beat, babies! I love you all! <3

What if, Sarah, from now on and forevermore, people stopped using the word “evil” and replaced it with “ignorance”?

Yeah, less fear, more better; global transformation.

Let’s,
The Universe
(I get these every weekday from www.tut.com, it rocks and it’s free…you should try it!)

I loved this message! When you get right down to it, what many of us see as “evil” is actually ignorance. Sure it could be ignorance due to privilege or a number of things, really. When you think of all of the “Health Experts” and marketing bullshit, is it any wonder? Ignorance prevails in this society and perpetuated and even preyed upon, if not outright created for profit! It takes a smart and brave soul to actually question all that’s been told/taught/presented to them from childhood. I know it took me awhile before I began to question authority figures (though not always aloud, ha-ha!) and even longer to distrust mainstream media in general.

It’s funny (not in a ha-ha sort of way, either) that today many things deemed “evil” are simply branches of old prejudices or superstitions. I mean, that and good old fashioned misogyny! Ah yes, of all of the ways to control women, those marketing geniuses came up with dieting and hair removal for the “fairer sex.” *ShakesHead* Ugh! By pushing back and fighting for equality we were then deemed too masculine or called extremists! Psshhht! Funny how those words still get tossed around, though not always at the same groups as back then.

I’m saying that though the haters will continue to hate, perhaps how we approach and deal with it could be different. By realizing that it’s not blind hate, but misinformation all together, that is the real “evil!” This is why I don’t care how many times some motherfucker wants to call me a know-it-all, I will educate people and set them straight if the situation calls for it. Not rudely, but the truth needs to get out! I cannot stand idly by while someone starts on their “informing” of the masses about some lie-filled bullshit! And we wonder where “concern trolls” are born?!

People feel righteous, we all do, in their beliefs. But if we never speak up, if we never compare notes, we all just go around ramming into each other…and not in the fun way! We help no one by remaining silently angry or hurt. When we share ourselves, our stories, our voices and experiences, we heal and we help others to heal and we educate! Just think back to when you first considered or heard of fat acceptance/pride/liberation! What did these new/radical concepts made you think or feel? Did you resist or question it at first? Are you still learning to accept yourself?

I do believe that life is a journey. The destination is all the same for us, but it’s the stops on that journey that make up our lives. It’s the people and the connections and the joy and the simplest of pleasures. It’s following what’s in your heart and not stamping upon others. It’s doing right by others by doing right by yourself! It’s not settling and it’s honoring your most authentic self! It’s not taking shit or letting anyone hold you back or down! It’s finding your passion and following your dreams! It’s not about wealth or objects or status, ever! It’s love and that is all!

Since many parts of the world are getting colder right now I thought why not try something different than the old Tank Top Tuesday posts and go in the opposite direction: Winter Wear! I also hope to do a coat shopping guide/options post soon.  Please see below for information on how you can submit your own pics and info for future posts. Thanks.

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This week’s submission comes from my good friend Robin! Woo hoo!

These were from last winter. It was so nice at the snow! I don’t have a philosophy or anything I am just happy with who I am flaws and all! ;0)

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Thanks Robin! You know I love you, gurl! <3

I am taking submissions from anyone who wants to participate in “Fats in Winter Wear” posts! Email your pics here: notblueatall@notblueatall.com, please include the name you’d like in the post, a blog or etsy shop you wanna plug, your thoughts on winter wear or other fatty philosophies. Have fun with it!

For additional content, links, aricles, stuff and more, please “Like” the blog’s Facebook Page. Thanks!

I think we sometimes get so caught up in our day to day lives that we tend to compress our hopes and dreams into very specific things. Sometimes we focus so much on what our dreams are that we forget that they may take a different shape or form. I know that this has been true for me. But after selling the cafe I was suddenly faced with, well, everything! I felt free of the stress and burdens of small business ownership and suddenly anything seemed possible! And nothing has proven this to me more than my new job.

I now work for happygoatcaramel.com and so far I love it. I never would have imagined taking a part-time position, but it feels quite liberating to me. It was all so unexpected. But I think it’s a good fit and I have many ideas for the future. So far 2012 (Woo!) has shown me the possibilities that are just waiting for me to take a bite out of in this world. I love that! I love being surprised by life in positive ways. I feel great because of it.

I’d been struggling with my knees for a few months now, but the funny thing is after NYE, despite the dancing and drinking, the next day my knees felt fine! No more pain! And the pain hasn’t returned! It’s like a NYE miracle or something. How is it that I drank as much as I did and danced way more than planned and ended up feeling BETTER the next day?! Ha-ha! It seems impossible, but it happened. Saturday was rough, actually, because I’d been limping from the pain in my left knee. Even walking the red carpet into the club that night I had a limp. I don’t know what happened, but I am so fucking grateful that it did!

I have a new found (or re-found) lust for life and a desire to get to know people on a deeper level. I want to maintain the relationships I have and meet new people and just keep doing that. I feel that this human connection we all share is the spice of life and is what keeps me going. It’s when I hide myself away that I grow depressed and afraid of the world. No more! But I will also listen and trust my body and if I feel the need to cloister, I will without guilt or shame. Because self-care should take precedence. We cannot help or care for others when we neglect our own health and well-being.

Though it’s only just begun, 2012 (Woo!) has already been a hundred times better than that last year. I felt at many times that I couldn’t go on or that things were simply hopeless. And here we all are on the other side and things are getting better, slowly but surely! And I believe in my heart that if I love with my whole self and treat people with love instead of judgment then life will show my proper path to whatever it is that I am meant to do. I feel it, like it’s on the horizon or the tip of my tongue…

Open yourself to possibilities and opportunities no matter what shape they may take and you will surprise yourself at what you can accomplish! Don’t let fear hold you back. Lose the shame and guilt and just enjoy yourself as yourself and just be you! Think about beliefs or thoughts you’ve long held to be true and re-examine them and how you feel about them now. Doing just that has lead me to some fun adventures and heartfelt discussions. Love those!

Take care of you, babies! I love you all! <3