I'm just a fat gal with a blog and an opinion. Well, lots of opinions.

Open to Possibilities


I think we sometimes get so caught up in our day to day lives that we tend to compress our hopes and dreams into very specific things. Sometimes we focus so much on what our dreams are that we forget that they may take a different shape or form. I know that this has been true for me. But after selling the cafe I was suddenly faced with, well, everything! I felt free of the stress and burdens of small business ownership and suddenly anything seemed possible! And nothing has proven this to me more than my new job.

I now work for and so far I love it. I never would have imagined taking a part-time position, but it feels quite liberating to me. It was all so unexpected. But I think it’s a good fit and I have many ideas for the future. So far 2012 (Woo!) has shown me the possibilities that are just waiting for me to take a bite out of in this world. I love that! I love being surprised by life in positive ways. I feel great because of it.

I’d been struggling with my knees for a few months now, but the funny thing is after NYE, despite the dancing and drinking, the next day my knees felt fine! No more pain! And the pain hasn’t returned! It’s like a NYE miracle or something. How is it that I drank as much as I did and danced way more than planned and ended up feeling BETTER the next day?! Ha-ha! It seems impossible, but it happened. Saturday was rough, actually, because I’d been limping from the pain in my left knee. Even walking the red carpet into the club that night I had a limp. I don’t know what happened, but I am so fucking grateful that it did!

I have a new found (or re-found) lust for life and a desire to get to know people on a deeper level. I want to maintain the relationships I have and meet new people and just keep doing that. I feel that this human connection we all share is the spice of life and is what keeps me going. It’s when I hide myself away that I grow depressed and afraid of the world. No more! But I will also listen and trust my body and if I feel the need to cloister, I will without guilt or shame. Because self-care should take precedence. We cannot help or care for others when we neglect our own health and well-being.

Though it’s only just begun, 2012 (Woo!) has already been a hundred times better than that last year. I felt at many times that I couldn’t go on or that things were simply hopeless. And here we all are on the other side and things are getting better, slowly but surely! And I believe in my heart that if I love with my whole self and treat people with love instead of judgment then life will show my proper path to whatever it is that I am meant to do. I feel it, like it’s on the horizon or the tip of my tongue…

Open yourself to possibilities and opportunities no matter what shape they may take and you will surprise yourself at what you can accomplish! Don’t let fear hold you back. Lose the shame and guilt and just enjoy yourself as yourself and just be you! Think about beliefs or thoughts you’ve long held to be true and re-examine them and how you feel about them now. Doing just that has lead me to some fun adventures and heartfelt discussions. Love those!

Take care of you, babies! I love you all! <3

24 Comments to

“Open to Possibilities”

  1. On January 6th, 2012 at 6:53 am Karen Says:

    How can you be anything but happy when you work at Happy Goat Caramels? I’ve never heard of that company but just reading the name made me smile.

  2. On January 6th, 2012 at 10:10 am Not Blue at All Says:

    Karen: Ha-ha! Exactly…but just wait until you read my post on Monday! Ha-ha! <3

  3. On January 6th, 2012 at 10:43 am Heather Says:

    is the problem with your knees arthritis? if so then the dancing could very well have helped! like my physical therapist told me- arthritic joints love movement! walking every day showed a 57% reduction in pain for patients with arthritic knees. (don’t quote my % on that- it could have been a bit more or less but it was significant)

  4. On January 6th, 2012 at 10:48 am Not Blue at All Says:

    Heather: No, I don’t think it’s arthritis. The knee issues started in August and and then worsened. Prior to that no issues at all. Used to be able to dance for hours and hours. Now? Eh. But I feel better now so who knows.

  5. On January 6th, 2012 at 11:36 am Amanda Says:

    OMG. Happy Goat Caramels! Do you get commission pay at all? Because once all of the Christmas sweets have been consumed, I will be placing an order of Happy Goat Caramels, and you should get credit for that! I am Happy just knowing they exist.

  6. On January 6th, 2012 at 11:41 am Not Blue at All Says:

    Amanda: Ha-ha! No, no commission, but it’s a fantastic company run by really awesome people and I process the orders, so you should still order. They are so delicious! Thanks!

  7. On January 6th, 2012 at 12:33 pm Alena Says:

    Not having work related stress is hugely important. I’m so glad that you like your new job; from what you’ve said before, I figured you would, but it’s great to hear so enthusiastic!

    About you knee – maybe it’s arthritus? That would explain why it feels better after dancing – sometimes a lot of movement helps dimish the pain of arthritus, though it might hurt at first. It’s also not uncommon during cold whether.

    Yay to 2012! Like you, I have a good feeling about the upcoming year. 2011 was – not horrible – but really stressful. I guess all the cosmic juju must be in proper alignment, or something!

  8. On January 6th, 2012 at 12:36 pm Not Blue at All Says:

    Alena: It’s not arthritis. Someone else suggested and I looked it up, but my symptoms are different. Thanks though. 2011 was horrible for me. But what can ya do? 2012 (Woo!) is all about the good things in life! Revoloosh!!! <3

  9. On January 6th, 2012 at 12:38 pm Alena Says:

    Woah, I suck without spell check.

  10. On January 6th, 2012 at 2:22 pm Twistie Says:

    Happy Goat Caramels and a sudden end to knee pain? WOOT! 2012 is indeed starting very well for you! Yay!

    Would write more but must dash. Making dinner for a good friend tonight and using one of Mr. Twistie’s Christmas gifts to me (All About Roasting by Molly Stevens) to make it extra yummy! I can’t wait to dig into that roasted fennel, red onion, and orange salad. I’ve never had roasted oranges, but they sound delicious in the extreme.

  11. On January 6th, 2012 at 4:46 pm Not Blue at All Says:

    Twistie: Woot indeed! Oooh, you must share your roasting experiences with me, been craving some roasted veggies but haven’t found the right time/recipe. Take care of you!

  12. On January 6th, 2012 at 3:14 pm L.V.Newc Says:

    Thank you for this. Your enthusiasm is so uplifting for me. I will be bookmarking this page and returning to it whenever I need a burst of positive energy in this new year. Thank you again, and my good thoughts are with you as 2012 begins!

  13. On January 6th, 2012 at 4:47 pm Not Blue at All Says:

    L.V.Newc: Thank you! You are so sweet! And I love your blog! Thank you for commenting. I can’t wait to read more.

  14. On January 6th, 2012 at 5:02 pm L.V.Newc Says:

    Oh my goodness, that means so much to me! Thank you, so much for reading.

  15. On January 6th, 2012 at 5:10 pm Not Blue at All Says:

    L.V.Newc: Aww! I love haikus but am not so great at writing them yet. My husband is better at those. I write more of the teenagery angsty poetry! Ha-ha!

  16. On January 6th, 2012 at 6:03 pm Twistie Says:

    All About Roasting by Molly Stevens. Seriously, this book is freaking amazing! I’ve always been good at roasting, but I’m learning a lot and the recipes are mouth-watering.

    If you love roasted things, this book needs to be on your wish list.

  17. On January 6th, 2012 at 6:09 pm Not Blue at All Says:

    Twistie: I don’t think I’ve ever roasted anything before. But thanks. I’ll have to see if the library has it.

  18. On January 6th, 2012 at 6:50 pm L.V.Newc Says:

    Haha! I decided to start writing haikus because they give me much less space in which to “devolve” (though I’m not sure it’s really so terrible as that) into angstiness– if I let myself go free-form, I end up with a whole lot of “teenager effect,” myself 😉

  19. On January 6th, 2012 at 6:52 pm Not Blue at All Says:

    L.V.Newc: How funny! I was just talking with a friend today about how I’ve decided to embrace my own melodrama! Ha-ha!

  20. On January 7th, 2012 at 8:21 am maggiemunkee Says:

    just the other night i made roasted brussels sprouts, carrots, parsnips, and garlicky chicken sausage. it was AMAZING. and i was almost disappointed that my SO came over because it meant i had to share with him. ;P

  21. On January 7th, 2012 at 7:42 pm thirtiesgirl Says:

    So great to read you’re in a positive frame of mind and feeling good about life. It’s a great place to be.

  22. On January 7th, 2012 at 8:54 pm Not Blue at All Says:

    thirtiesgirl: Thank you, gurl! You’re always so sweet to me! I hope that all is well with you and yours. <3

  23. On January 10th, 2012 at 7:00 pm L.V.Newc Says:

    (much delayed response, to say:) I heartily think you should! (though perhaps it sounds like I am contradicting myself– but, as Whitman would say, “Very well, then I contradict myself! I am large; I contain multitudes”). 🙂 I have come to believe quite strongly (as, your blog tells me, you have as well) that we must allow ourselves to be ALL of what we are– not just the “good” stuff, the socially “acceptable” stuff, but all of it. And that includes melodrama! For pretty much all of us, I’d venture to say. I think that we are healthier, therefore happier, and therefore better able to make positive contributions to society when we feel wholly accepted– and the emphasis must be on the WHOLE thing. So let that melodramatic flag FLY! I’ll be flying one right along with you 🙂

  24. On January 10th, 2012 at 9:24 pm Not Blue at All Says:

    L.V.Newc: Rock on! Melodrama, flaws, beauty and brains to boot! Woo!

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