What is the Most Frustrating…
What is the most frustrating thing about being fat in modern society?
I would imagine that this is a very individual thing, but I thought since I’m still “blocked” that perhaps we could share our own thoughts and stories (in comments) and start a discussion.
For me I think it’s the word obesity as well as anything connected to that word: crisis, epidemic, disease, affliction, etc. Explaining that I do not over eat nor is what I eat anyone’s damned business. That and constantly trying to explain to people that fat does not automatically equal having/getting Diabetes.
But let’s see what you think and discuss it and perhaps we’ll find there are things we can do or say or approach, together, that we haven’t before. 🙂
If you’d like a more immediate discussion/response, let’s bring to this blog’s Facebook page! Thanks so much for reading and bearing with me.
I think trying to negotiate being fat and proud in public is the toughest thing. If I keep my head down and try not to attract attention to myself people usually give me a pass but the second I try to wear something sexy or act like a human being worthy of space then I can feel the disapproval. It aint right, I tell ya.
I think for me it’s the fact that so damn many people believe they know (a) the state of my health and (b) the contents of my refrigerator just by looking at me… and even moreso the fact that they believe they have not only the right, but the moral obligation to judge my worth as a human being on those assumptions.
The fact is they’re wrong on all three counts. And even if they were right about the first two… I would still cordially invite them to sit and spin on it about that third one.
The most frustrating thing to me about beig fat in this society is the mainstream belief that not only is my fat my own fault, but also that I could change into a thin person whenever I choose, simply by “putting down that donut.”
And yes, the word “obesity” followed by some other word that implies a societal burden is so triggering for me.
I think the most frustrating thing is the vehemence of other people’s ignorance. People seem desperate to turn being fat into a crime against society – and they’re constantly bringing up how much it ‘costs’. There are so many things that cost us – health problems that are preventable such as the effects of smoking, and health problems that aren’t – we all have to pay for other’s people’s poor health, their mistakes and their carelessness, and other people have to pay for ours, but the idea that being fat is somehow so much worse than anything else and that all we have to do is 1) learn to cook [llike all people who cook for themselves must be thin] 2] get off the couch [like there are no skinny couch potatoes, 3] put the cookie down [like all fat people overeat constantly, 4] go on a diet [like diets work] – then everything will be fine and we will no longer be a burden to our much superior thin counterparts. That’s what bothers me the most – that all of these cost arguments could be applied to any number of things, but no one seems quite as riled up about paying for those things.
I think, for me, it is all about the assumptions. Leaving aside all the problematic societal beliefs surrounding fat in general, the thing that brings me pain and anger on a daily basis is what people assume to know about me or a fellow fat girl (so, me, basically). I must eat a lot of fast food, drink full sugar soda, be clueless about nutrition, sit around doing nothing all the time, watch TV in excess, provide poor nutrition for my kids, encourage my kids to be sedentary, have moderate to severe health problems, embarrass my husband, be unintelligent, and on and on. That people who have never heard me speak one word or seen me ever before feel comfortable assuming such complex knowledge of who I am boggles my mind.
I would never just look at a slender person and think I could speak intelligently about their favorite foods, habits, likes and dislikes, child-rearing philosophies, personality, etc. It really upsets me that I can’t go about my business without feeling that people might think or act hatefully based on the complete fairytale they have constructed in their heads about who I am.
I guess it would be the fat bias in society in the US even though 60% of us are suppose to be obese.
That means that a lot fat people are too weak minded or too depressed or too filled with self-hate to stand up for themselves.
There are enough fat people in the US to take-over (occupy) any fat bias talk out there on the internet if we all wanted to.
A very good question! There are so many frustrating things about being fat in this society.
The most frustrating aspect for me out of many is the Stockholm Syn- drome as experienced by the majority of fat people and a good many people who aren’t fat. The ones who are being punished and also think they OUGHT to be punished for being fat.
I agree with all posters above; fat itself isn’t bad. It’s the way people treat it that sucks.