On a plus size fashion brand’s Facebook page they’d posted some photos of models in their clothing, one featuring a “tutu”, though I’d say it was more just a midi length tulle skirt. I thought they looked great. Sorry I can’t recall the brand, but what won’t get out of my head as much as I wish it would are the comments about the images. “Why would you put a tutu on a fat woman?! Are you insane? No! No one that big should wear a tutu!” and more of the same beneath it. Wow. I was stopped dead in my tracks when I saw those comments. I never read the comments sections on sites I visit, I know better, but these were just displayed beneath the photos but there were a lot more comments not displayed unless you clicked it. I couldn’t avoid it. But it make me sad and angry.

Can we just get one thing straight here?

WHAT ANYONE ELSE WEARS IS NONE OF YOUR DAMNED BUSINESS!!!

If something someone else is wearing doesn’t agree with your delicate sensibilities, look the fuck away! Think about something else. Think about your life. Think about how you got to be a horrible and judgmental asshole. Because that’s what someone who says such things is. I saw the same photos and smiled, didn’t have any further thought or reaction until I saw the comments. “The Fashion Police” is not a real thing and is barely even a legitimate show on a barely legitimate cable television channel. (I hate the whole celeb-gossip-love-hate-obsession culture…oh well!) Policing other people’s fashion choices makes you an asshole even if you don’t comment online or say something in person. You’re still an asshole if you think those thoughts because you’re judging them. Stop it! NOW!

It’s easy to get sucked into this frame of mind, I understand. I do. But knowing better means you can do better and you should do better for yourself. How would it be better for you? When you stop judging others you will soon stop judging yourself and feeling a whole lot better in general. Isn’t that nice? I think so. Same goes for lying! It’s like magic! Stop lying to yourself and others and soon you’ll feel freer. It is one thing to not like a certain style for yourself, but you do not get a say about anyone else. You just don’t.

I think the same things in the media that makes us feel about about ourselves and our bodies (and skin, hair, nails, everything in creation…) also makes us feel as though it’s okay for us to hold others to those same standards. (But they aren’t even your standards, they’re just bullshit marketing strategies to make more money. Gross!) Well it’s not okay. It’s not cool. And you need to stop it immediately. You are not better than someone else. You’re just not. None of us are. We’re just humans. Plain and simple. Having a particular preference for something doesn’t mean you are better in any way shape or form. It’s okay to like things, to prefer not to like certain things for yourself, totally fine. Not fine? Pushing your beliefs on others! Duh!

I was especially upset to see fat women hating on other fat women. It breaks my heart in a very deep way. We get so much shit and vitriol flung at us from everyone and everywhere else, can we not just fucking be kind to one another?! At least let folks just be?! Because that’s all I want, let me be my bad ass self! Why should I make room in my life or time or attention span for haters? No one should. If you’re fat you know the shit we deal with. I mean, most women deal with some form of body hate from people (which is such bullshit), but fat folks know the very specific and painful stinging burn we get from the harassment we receive. Why would you do that to a fellow fatty?!?!??!??!!

Hate breeds hate. Plain as. You have the power to stop it within yourself. It is a choice and it’s a shitty one if you’re continuing to judge people. So don’t be that asshole. Be you. Do better. Be kind to yourself because you deserve it and be kind to others because we’re all just shared cosmic energy flowing in and out of this universe and no one has the right to shit on anyone else’s fashion parade! I get enough of that bullshit from reddit loser-trolls, you can do better than that!

I don’t consume media that makes me feel bad about myself. I don’t subscribe to trashing people. I may not like a particular garment but that doesn’t mean that I get a say or an opinion when someone else wants to rock that shit. Do you. Let the rest be. I would LOVE to wear a tutu like the one in that picture! I wish I could afford one. But if I was wearing one and someone said that shit to me they would never hear the end of it.

It takes all types to make this planet go ’round, but it’s up to you to be the best and most authentic you that you can be.

Rad Fatty Love,
<3
S

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