I'm just a fat gal with a blog and an opinion. Well, lots of opinions.

We Made It Through


I would first like to take a moment to thank the folks who have reached out to me while I’ve been struggling. Thank you!!! Your kindness, thoughts, well wishes and support really mean a lot to me. I know I’m not alone, and neither are you, even when we feel it’s true. 2013 really beat me up, but it also lifted me up and taught me so much. It was such a mixed bag and yet…I’m okay. I’m feeling so much better now!

The week between x-mas and new year’s has been a time for comfort, indulgence, socializing and being with those I love. Only this was the first time in 15 years that I didn’t have any of that. It was stress, miss-communication, illnesses, heartache, disappointment and loneliness. I didn’t know how to cope! I didn’t have family to visit and my bffs were all either out of town or sick. I was beside myself and feeling so lost.
I know that I have come a long way in appreciating and enjoying my own company. Yet there are certain times when I know it’s best to be with those I love. When I felt myself falling back into depression I tried to do all I could to prevent it or at least lessen it. I asked my ex to bring over my puggyman. I’m not saying that pugs have magical healing powers, but they are made of unconditional love and snuggles and I needed all of that I could get!
A miss-communication with my fella left me absolutely terrified I would lose him. Long-time readers of this blog might know about my title, “Queen of TMI”, but my guy hasn’t experienced much of that until I went ahead and shoved my entire foot in my mouth! Oops! Never fear, we’re okay, all is healed and we’re still stupidly and madly in love with each other. It took some time apart, many tear-filled texts and emails, but our bond is stronger than ever. I sometimes think we must have these little hiccups in our relationships, not just the romantic kind, in order to grow and understand each other.
Facing NYE alone was a bit scary. Last year I had too many invites to even respond to and this year, zero. I had spent several days crying alone in my dark room. I was tired of it and knew I needed to get out! I heard that a local club was doing a red and black ball with 80’s/90’s music and I’d get in for half off with this card I have and so I went! My friend “L” ended up joining me and we had  a blast dancing the night away! At midnight I text my guy and he text me back and we were both so apologetic and just missed the crap out of each other.
NYE hair for black and red ball. With a little hair help from my roommate. (For more pics of this look check out this Post by's photo.
I spent the next several days (well, until today that is) with my boyfriend just laughing and being silly and doing geeky stuff as usual. It’s been bliss! He took a couple of days off to be with me and I felt like the luckiest girl in the world…still do, actually.  I can honestly say that this is the happiest and healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in. We have our quirks, and while many don’t understand them, we’re happy as hell and that’s all that matters.
Seeing my favorite fellas (puggyman included) so much has made me feel so good! And then today B came over to pick up an old t.v. I had and asked if I’d like to keep my little puggo permanently! I still have to talk to my roommate, but I tentatively said yes. Actually, as scary as it is, I’m super happy with this! I miss him so much sometimes and having my little puggy shadow has been so lovely. I’m calmer and less anxious and it helps that he has to keep a schedule, so I can’t get too weird with my own.
And tomorrow I have a BIG interview!!! I feel like I already have this job, but still, it’s in an exciting place doing something pretty rad and while the pay is less that I was getting at “the fruit” it won’t be full of awful jerks and it’s still local! Woot! Ha-ha! So, fingers crossed for me, okay? 😉 I have another position I’m waiting to hear back on, just have to schedule the in-person interview for that one, but the initial project for it was terrible! I managed, but it really pushed my limits.
This afternoon, after applying to all the jobs, I rewarded myself with the final episode of Downton Abbey from last season followed by the first episode of the new season. SO MANY FEELINGS!!! Oh my glob! I tell you what, this rarely happens and I may deny it later, but my ovaries are all a tingle! Plus caring for my little babyman?! I mean…?!?!? Ha-ha! I’ll just chalk it up to a great show and possible PMS!
I hope you all had a great holiday season and if not, well, at least we fucking survived it! 2014? I like a nice even number! I’m hopeful and excited for this year. I don’t have any resolutions or even revolutions, but I’m just trying to do what I must to get by right now. Managing my anxiety and trying to stay focused is taking a lot out of me these days. This blog post you’re reading right now is the most I’ve written since my last one. I might try some fatshion posts or selfies (Check out this blog’s Facebook page for other quickie pics, links and so much more!) or other random stuff just to get back into the swing of posting when I can. I don’t know how I used to post five days a week!
Don’t worry about the rest, just do you! 😉
Rad Fatty Love to All!
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