I'm just a fat gal with a blog and an opinion. Well, lots of opinions.



Did someone hit the rewind button or something? It feels like January all of a sudden! I am suddenly being bombarded with weight loss talk and WLS talk on my Facebook feed and I DO NOT LIKE!!! The bullshit of “lose weight = healthy” is happening and I feel like I need to scream at people! I know that’s ineffective and so I don’t.

This is what I posted on my Facebook page before filtering said people:

I do my best to surround myself with positivity and love. It is no small effort that I can live in and love my fat body, but I do it because it is worth it and what is best for me. Because of this I can no longer accept or ignore the “diet” and “weight loss” talk I’ve been seeing an increase of on my FB feed. I respect everyone’s individual choice to do what’s right for themselves. However, I will be removing your posts from my personal feed. If you find that I’m not “liking” or interacting with you on FB, now you know why. Feel free to message me to say “Hi” or check in. Thank you in advance for understanding. 🙂

I think everyone in my life, even peripherally, knows how I feel about this stuff by now. If not, well, I’m surprised, but that has got to be by choice. I have been surprised by who has been posting diet/WLS stuff, but at the same time I know it has nothing to do with me. The information is out there, it is their choice. It has nothing to do with me. This doesn’t mean that I have to bare witness to it either. My mental health is mine to protect and so I must do all I can.

I often hear peeps talk about how much they hate FB…but it really is what you make of it. I can think of no better way for me to stay in touch and involved in the activism and fatty groups I love. I am inspired daily by the people and the things that they post. It is rare that something bothers me on my feed and I’m usually not shy to speak up when it does. But this sudden burst by a select few has me wondering and questioning and so the above post felt necessary. I don’t want them to feel like I’ve turned my back, I still value them and want to know them, but I cannot expose myself to that shit any longer.

I hope that we can all find a way to cultivate what nurtures us in our lives. I know it’s not always easy, and really what is, but it is necessary for us to be happy. I am doing my best to not waste time and energy on folks who don’t or can’t respect that or me. It’s been super hard and I’ve withdrawn to protect myself, I know. I feel like the ones who care let me know and I them. The ones who don’t? Their silence and absence in my life speaks volumes.

I shall remain open to the good things in this world and this life, even if that means getting hurt far more than I care to admit. I am learning to protect myself in many ways for the first time in my life. I find that I am often fighting my own old patterns and instincts to get to where I need to be. I need to learn how to speak up when shit feels so very wrong, because they do! I have had this deep gut feeling for a couple of weeks now that something is horribly wrong and being kept from me and I just don’t know what the hell to do with that. So, I’m listening but letting it be at the same time.


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One Comment to


  1. On March 13th, 2013 at 12:19 am Scattered Marbles Says:

    I really love the way you stated that, very non-judgmental and non-confrontational. Just stating this is how I feel when and so because of that I am doing this to avoid that. It also shows respect for their decisions and shows that while you have decided not to have the chance of that junk showing up on your news feed you still value their friendship and giving them another means of communication with you. Very cool!

    I have found for me to that setting up my boundaries has been crucial in finding healing and getting stronger myself, rather than burning myself out trying to make other people change. For too long I put up with things that were hurting me because I didn’t want to seem like the humorless person who can’t take a joke, or start a war with them when they get all offended that someone dares to not agree with them or cheer them on. Now I just place a boundary and tell them I am not going to participate in that stuff anymore and leave it at that.

    I might have to do something like this myself, it is a great idea!

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