I'm just a fat gal with a blog and an opinion. Well, lots of opinions.

TMI Tuesday: Toys! Toys! Toys!


(To the tune of Lady Gaga’s “Boys Boys Boys”)

This TMI Tuesday post is all about Sex Toys! If this doesn’t interest you, you’d rather not know about my sex life or toy preference, or you’re at work and don’t wanna get in trouble, do come back tomorrow for your regularly scheduled random fatty talk right here on my blog-a-ma-thing. Thanks!








On my recent visit to Good Vibrations for that fabulously fun Burlesque class a couple of weeks ago (oh how time flies!) I picked up a toy I’d been looking at online.  I loved the color and the feel of the outside of it and the length seemed fab, too! But then, like so many toys, it left me unimpressed and generally dissatisfied. I know, for $22 what do I expect?! Well, I expected something! Perhaps I had high expectations, but that $22 is hard won for me (more than a week’s worth of work/tips) and so I always have high hopes when spending my dough.

Lucid Dreams No. 14 Waterproof G-spot Vibrator - Click to enlarge
See? It’s perty!
The last toy I purchase was the Butterfly Kiss and while I have enjoyed it a couple of times, it’s length is problematic (the butterfly doesn’t actually do anything for my clit as it either doesn’t reach or is so weak as to be meaningless). I do appreciate the design of it though. And again, the price was great at $18.

Talking to some friends though, I’d realized why I’ve had so many toy failures. Cheap price = cheap or shoddy toy! Doy! (They were much nicer about it, I promise!) I’d only previously used bullets. I’ve owned 3 so far as they have all been wired and thus that tiny wire always manages to break at some point. Boo! My last bullet was $6 on Amazon (they sell everything!) and it lasted about four weeks. It worked great though! It was this one by “Doc Johnson” (ha-ha!)
Doc Johnson Ivory Egg VibratorSo compact yet powerful!
I’d purchased a longer bullet a couple of years ago that lasted quite a long time, but eventually that damned wire fizzled out and that was that. It was nice to have the extra length, but now I’m wondering if I shouldn’t invest in something a bit nicer and more sure to please, ya know?
And so I turn to you, my fellow fats! What toys do you love? Why? What was an eye opener for you? How do you use yours? Do you use it with a lover or on your own? Positions? What questions and apprehensions do you have about sex toys and vibrators? I wanna know! I wanna talk! Let’s chat about this, shall we? Nothing is TMI on this blog, so let loose and speak up! We’d all love to hear about it! <3
31 Comments to

“TMI Tuesday: Toys! Toys! Toys!”

  1. On May 24th, 2011 at 4:10 am Shieldmaiden1196 Says:

    I’ll just jump in first, shall I?

    I got a butterfly kiss about a year or so ago and I find that while its got a pretty good strong vibration, I find myself wanting more in the penetration department. But as you say, you get what you pay for and as ‘discount toys’ go that one isn’t too awful bad. I’ve had the same problem with toys that have those puny wires and I completely avoid them now.

    I keep flipping my catalog to the BOBs….(battery operated boyfriends, as my Fantasia consultant jokingly calls them) and I wonder how good they are. If I’m going to shell out $50-$75 for a toy I want to know that I’m going to get some mileage out of it. And that I don’t need an operations course to run the thing. Too bad you can’t test-drive them.

  2. On May 24th, 2011 at 10:11 am Not Blue at All Says:

    Ha-ha! Can you imagine? Test driving sex toys? Ha-ha! I feel the same way, but I’m on the germaphobic side and the thought eeks me out completely.
    But I did quite enjoy the display models at good vibrations, so there is something there for sure.
    My butterfly kiss’s vibe wasn’t very strong at all, but I dig on the shape of it. Thanks so much for sharing and commenting.

  3. On May 24th, 2011 at 5:05 am Arpita Says:

    Pricey but worth it is Jimmyjane’s Form 4:

    It is made of silicone, which is nonporous and therefore less likely to grow disgusting microbes. The motor is really strong [smile], and it is rechargeable, so no reliance on batteries or a cord.

    The downside: It is expensive. I am cheap, so I was careful to select a toy that can be used internally or externally, so I feel I almost got a “two-fer” this way. I am all about VALUE!

    I use it on my own, which makes me giggle in delight. I think it would be way fun with a partner, too. The helpful Babeland employee reminded me that if you use a condom with it (e.g. for anal play), you must use a condom that has water based lube on the inside. Silicone lube breaks down a silicone toy. So even without a condom, use lube–lube is always the tops–that is *water based.*

    Happy playing!

  4. On May 24th, 2011 at 10:13 am Not Blue at All Says:

    Whoa! I know you said pricey, but when I clicked it I wasn’t expecting $150! It does look fab.
    Thanks for the water-based lube tips, too! This is something I hadn’t considered, but great to know.
    Giggle with delight? Okay, I’m pretty damn curious about this toy now. Thanks! =0)

  5. On May 24th, 2011 at 7:26 am maggiemunkee Says:

    the hitachi is the gold standard, and it’s amazing. i don’t think i could like without anymore. it’s especially nice to wedge between myself and a partner, especially if i’m on top.

    for less money (a hitachi runs about $40), i HIGHLY recommend the wahl pro massager. i think amazon has it for maybe $15ish? if you can find the spot tip attachment (nice and round, and a bit softer than the attachments that come standard with the wahl), definitely spend the few bucks for it. downsides: it’s a bit uglier and louder than the hitachi, but omfg, amazeballs. AND it comes with an wide attachment with tiny fingers for the scalp. guuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. i *heart* it a lot.

    i tend to not like the rabbit-style vibes, not because i don’t enjoy the sensation, but because my cunt of doooooom tends to squeeze the life out of them. the only one i haven’t killed yet is made by fun factory. actually, many of my favorite insertable toys are made by fun factory. they seem to be a really sex- and body-positive company. whee!

    my other favorite toy is a glass dildo that i stole from my girlfriend. whoops. i have no idea where she got it from, but many glass pieces are quite affordable.

    confession: i want to open a sex-, body-, queer-positive sexuality shop of my very own. with real bdsm gear available, not just flimsy eye masks and ribbon ties.

  6. On May 24th, 2011 at 10:18 am Not Blue at All Says:

    Can your fabulous sex-body-queer positive shop have death fatty lingerie or leather gear? Ha-ha! Just sayin’! It’s hard to find stuff when you have 62″ hips (or bigger, like most of my friends). Especially garter belts! OMG!
    A friend of mine loves her glass dildo and I was considering it. What’s funny is that every time I mention a glass didlo, ladies freak out! “Glass?!” I think they are beautiful. They run about $40-$200, depending on a lot of factors. Not sure if this is what I would want for me-time, but perhaps with my guy. Fun Factory, eh? I’ll check ’em out. And the Hitachi is only $40? I always thought they were $200. Interesting. I honestly don’t think I could handle something so powerful. There’s a fine line I think between strong enough and ouch! But the Wahl sounds appealing, thanks for the recommendation!

  7. On May 24th, 2011 at 8:03 am Jessica Says:

    I swear by Fun Factory’s LAYAspot – I’ve got two of them lol. They’re great in all positions, with and without a partner. 😉

    (And they sell them on Amazon, how awesome is that?)

    Also, I love some of the Evolved vibes, the one I have is awesome and the others look very fun. 🙂

  8. On May 24th, 2011 at 10:20 am Not Blue at All Says:

    which Evolved one do you have? I’m looking but there are so many and the prices are all over the map, too. I do love the fact that many sex toy sites have user reviews. So helpful! Thank you for your suggestions! =0)

  9. On May 24th, 2011 at 8:15 am Twistie Says:

    I think toys are fun, but I haven’t owned many and – like you – I picked with a tight budget in mind. I think next time I decide to try (which is going to be a while what with Mr. Twistie FINALLY ready to let me get the gas stove of my dreams, which is actually better than sex in my book), I’m going to get some recommendations for something that lasts and satisfies over time.

  10. On May 24th, 2011 at 10:22 am Not Blue at All Says:

    Gas stove of your dreams? Oh baby! I know what you’re saying on this one! I’ve only ever known electric apartment stoves. So a true gas one? Fantasy!!! I want pictures! I promise not to masturbate to pictures of your new stove! Ha-ha!

  11. On May 24th, 2011 at 10:33 am Twistie Says:

    I actually am so excited I wrote about my new (soon, so very soon) stove on Big Girl this weekend. Feel free to masturbate all you like over the pics. In fact, I’m so turned on by it that I may just start humping that baby in front of God, the installation dude, and everybody as soon as it arrives on my doorstep!

    Hmmm… I hadn’t really thought of it this way before, but maybe Mr. Twistie is getting me a sex toy, after all.

  12. On May 24th, 2011 at 10:43 am Not Blue at All Says:

    Ha-ha! This is an awesomely hilarious new sex fantasy we got going here. Ha-ha! Mr. Twistie doesn’t know what he’s started!

  13. On May 24th, 2011 at 11:20 am Twistie Says:

    Well, at least it won’t be the first time my reaction to an inanimate object has kind of surprised him. Keeps him on his toes at any rate! LOL!

  14. On May 24th, 2011 at 11:25 am Not Blue at All Says:

    Ha-ha! Nice!

  15. On May 24th, 2011 at 11:33 am Arpita Says:

    The comments about gas stoves as sex toys reminds me of a misheard lyric from my youth. Do you all remember that song “Strobe Light” by the B-52s? As an 11 year old I misheard it as “Stove Light.” The refrain “Wanna make love to you under the stove light!” sounded really painful, like, someone was going to get burner grill marks on their back. Ouch!

  16. On May 24th, 2011 at 1:53 pm Not Blue at All Says:

    Ha-ha! That is fabulous! I love the B52’s and can totally understand how you mistook that lyric…too funny!

  17. On May 24th, 2011 at 5:27 pm Midnyghtchilde Says:

    So I had to comment, as a lurker in the fatosphere. I just started selling for Athena’s – a home sex toy party company that is very focus on pleasing women of all shapes and sizes! I’ve tried several toys with my discount now, and the best of all time is the Celebrator! It looks so silly – like a toothbrush, but its outstanding clit attention. omg. omg. omg. it oscillates rather than vibrates. all the other goddesses love it too. I got mine and don’t know why I didn’t do it sooner! Seriously, its my favorite toy – I have the butterfly kiss above, a rabbit, and a deluxe lucid dream so far! you can find it on my webpage (linked above).

  18. On May 25th, 2011 at 8:28 am Not Blue at All Says:

    I will have to check it out. Thanks for the suggestion! The “celebrator” looks interesting. $50? Not the most expensive I’ve seen, for sure.

  19. On May 25th, 2011 at 6:23 am Shieldmaiden1196 Says:

    Couple things:

    I was always amused by a catalog blurb that said glass dildos are ‘dishwasher safe’. I guess you have to keep it on the top rack so it doesn’t knock Grandma Edna’s china to bits.

    Re: real leather gear/shops/etc: I used to work for a moving company and we once did an estimate for two gentlemen who MADE such things to order. They had two industrial sewing machines in their basement and made all manner of leather goods. They seemed pretty open to questions so the surveyor said, ‘Is there much of a market for that?’ They laughed and said, “Oh honey, you have no idea.”

  20. On May 25th, 2011 at 8:30 am Not Blue at All Says:

    Ha-ha! Nice! I’m fortunate to live in the S.F. Bay Area where all manner of leather goods are fairly easy to come by (no pun intended), but the cost is still outrageous for me. Not that I’m into leather, but I enjoy looking at it. Not so much the feel.
    Dishwasher safe? Ha-ha! Oh man, I can’t even imagine! =0)

  21. On May 25th, 2011 at 8:10 am maggiemunkee Says:

    okay, the hitachi seems to be about $50, but still, considering the fact it will last you for YEARS, and provides amazing relief when used on aching shoulders and backs, etc (almost kinkier!), it’s worth the investment. and don’t ever hesitate to use it over clothes over delicate bits.

    and duh, of course my amazing shop will have things in a wide (ha!) range of sizes. or at least find a way to make them happen. i’ve realized that a major problem is not a lack of proprietors who want to carry things, but a lack of manufacturing options. custom seems to be the way to go.

  22. On May 25th, 2011 at 8:31 am Not Blue at All Says:

    Oh yes, I agree that it’s the manufacturers, but I’m sure the buyers have some input, at least I would hope so.
    Thanks so much!

  23. On May 25th, 2011 at 3:40 pm Midnyghtchilde Says:

    haha glass dildos and a lot of silicone non-motorized toys are all dishwasher safe. whether its safe in your household to load the dishwasher with sex toys is a different story, lol.

    leather is expensive 🙁 athena’s doesnt carry much of it, but the Stockroom has a lot of bondage stuff…their sheepskin lined leather wrist cuffs are really nice although pricey 😉

  24. On May 26th, 2011 at 8:10 am Not Blue at All Says:

    Thanks so much.

  25. On May 25th, 2011 at 8:27 pm Rachel Says:

    I love my hitachi magic wand, and I bought it last year for $35 on amazon. So keep checking! Before, it was these standard $20 grapey vibes that I have been buying since I was 18. I’ve tried these smaller vibes, but it seems that anything under D cell leaves me unsatisfied…that said, I wouldn’t wind trying out one of these OhMiBod club vibes……

  26. On May 26th, 2011 at 8:10 am Not Blue at All Says:

    $35? Nice! I will keep checking back. thanks!

  27. On May 27th, 2011 at 8:14 am Lauren Says:

    My first vibe was a hitachi, actually. My mother’s, in fact. I don’t know if that is what she bought it for, because the things are actually serious back massagers, but that thing was . I actually had to keep a towel between me an it to dampen the intensity. Good times…

    I have actually made quite a few investments at GV, and I ALWAYS spend about an hour in the store before I fork over a red cent, testing vibe strength, shape, and quality. I went there just last week actually, and bought one dildo I am really happy with, the Randy, and a vibe from fun factory which I was hoping to take the silicone sheath off of and put on my favorite bullet from GV, but unfortunately it doesn’t fit 🙁 My fave vibe though, that I’ve had for YEARS was only $15 at GV, a long hard plastic bullet vibe with a dial for ramping up the speed, basically a mini version of the classic vibe. I cannot find the exact model on their site, but the smallest Femani Intimates Wand Massagers/Vibrators is pretty much equivalent (Now on sale for $20!). I like it better that a normal bullet because of the fact there is no cord, takes AA batteries, and the length means that when I am on all fours w/ my guy in me, I can reach it up to my clit w/o straining my arm 😉

    I buy sex toys as major investments though, so in my opinion, it’s better to save and then drop a larger chunk of dough on something that will last a lifetime (and might even come with a warranty) than buy something cheaper and have it die on me. Just do the research first!

  28. On May 27th, 2011 at 8:26 am Not Blue at All Says:

    Wow! Thank you for sharing your expertise on the subject here. See, this is why I fear the Hitachi. I mean, a towel? Yeesh! Not exactly a mood enhancer, eh? Ha-ha! I like longer bullet styles but hadn’t thought of just getting a normal vibe. Duh-me! Ha-ha! I am currently doing research and with the help of my fab readers and commenters I think I will be on the right track when money is in hand again. Thanks!

  29. On June 30th, 2011 at 8:06 am Nikki Says:

    Jimmie Jane Form 2. It looks alien but it’s become my best friend. It’s water proof and travel ready. It’s pricey but it’s worth it.

  30. On June 30th, 2011 at 8:33 am Not Blue at All Says:

    Ooh, thanks for the review of that one. I did look at it online, but yeah, the price put me off. One fine day I will have a lovely toy collection that will be of the best quality and pleasure. *sigh* <3

  31. On November 22nd, 2011 at 4:11 am NotBlueAtAll » Blog Archive » TMI Tuesday!!! Says:

    […] and it took me a few days to buy AAA batteries, I thought I had some. Ha-ha! I’ve tried other schmancy vibes before and they all have their qualities and faults. I had not tried to use them during partner sex and […]

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