I'm just a fat gal with a blog and an opinion. Well, lots of opinions.

TMI Tuesday…


Okay, I get that there are people in the world who actually don’t masturbate for various and personal reasons. That’s cool. I also get that there are people who have no interest in sex at all. Also totally cool. No judgments from me. This post, though, may not be for you.
Also, if you know me or just don’t wanna hear about me masturbating or my thoughts on the subject, you can skip this post and come back tomorrow.
Thanks!!! <3








I know it’s been awhile since I’ve done one of these and this time is a bit of a re-do or add-on from back when on Masturbating. Yep! I said it! (Previous posts like this one Here and here.) I’m writing about this touchy subject (see what I did there?! Ha!) today because I was checking out my stats and it seems people are genuinely interested in this. Doy! I know! But hey, it’s been awhile and I wanna talk about it…let’s do thi!

Can I just say how awesome masturbating is? It is enlightening! It’s self-care in the best sense. It’s free and generally easy to accomplish and you get to figure out what turns you on and what your specific parts can do. Yay! I’m all for self discovery and exploring. I hate so much the bullshit that gets implanted in us that turns into shame, hate and even disgust at our own genitals and masturbation in general. It’s utter crap and you should pay it no mind.

Masturbation is great for your body and mind; your heart and soul! You won’t go blind or get hairy palms, I swear! Ha! But I’ll admit that masturbating while fat, especially the super or death fatties among us, can be a bit difficult. This is where self exploration pays off! If you know what works for you and your fat body beforehand, it will absolutely help you get off when you’re having sex with someone else.

Access! This is the biggest factor, am I right?! I mean, my vagina points down. This makes reaching certain spots (or combinations) difficult. Also? Big belly and thighs! While I love them, they can get in the way. No shame in that, it’s just how it is. Don’t be afraid to try a position on your own that you’ve never tried before. Put a leg up somewhere or try it on all fours! I used to prop my ass up on pillows with my legs up the wall spread out like a big V…it worked wonders. Whatever your specific situation may be, I encourage experimentation and exploration and generally setting the mood (and setting aside the time) to woo you! You’re worth it! 😉

With what now? Yeah, we can start with the basics: Hands! They’re awesome! They do so much for us and they can pleasure us, too! Woo hoo! I highly recommend just having a sensual touching session with yourself. Let yoru fingers glide across your chest, belly, thighs, neck, shoulders…all over! Stay in your body and mindful of how the touching feels in different spots. It’s fun! And you’ll discover certain areas are more sensitive and pleasurable than others. Don’t get stuck in a rut with your hand-time though, try your other hand, less fingers-more fingers, different angles, engaging other parts of your body…all for the pleasure of you!

Tools & Toys: You don’t have to spend a lot to get a fun toy for your specific sexy needs. You can get all sorts of neat-o devices, lubes, gadgets and woozles for your sensual pleasure. I like Babeland for these types of purchases, but hey, those on a budget can hit up Amazon, too (I have). In fact! Start a sexy wish list on Amazon! It’s fun to shop for this stuff. If you do get something new to play with, be safe, keep it clean and do not share! In this case, sharing is not caring. Set aside some time to figure out your new toy and to see what that baby can do! You may find that some are better than others and we all have varying levels of sensitivity with such things. Be patience and have fun!

For the love of lube! Oh how my sex life changed when I discovered lube!!! If you haven’t tried lube before, just try it once. It’s awesome! And I recently did some research on the subject and found that some ingredients in very popular lubes actually aren’t very conducive for safe sex (AstroGlide has an ingredient that actually welcomes HIV and breaks down cell walls, BOO!). Because of this I have personally switched to an organic lube, it wasn’t cheap, but it’s for my own usage and I’ll be sure to get some mileage out of the small bottle I got for $10 at my local natural foods store. Before this I used AstroGlide (classic, sticky, but lasted longer) and KY Liquid (slippery and nice, doesn’t last very long though). Make sure the lube you get works with your toy and/or condoms. Water based is generally accepted as the safest…

Coconut oil: While researching lubes, (because that’s something we all do, right?) I read a lot about coconut oil (unrefined) being awesome as fuck for self diddling! I haven’t tried it yet, but I’m actually sort of dying to. It’s not okay for condoms, nor is anything oil based for that matter, it breaks down the reliability of the latex, yo. But for self stimulation it’s supposed to be tops! And a little goes a long way. If you’ve tried it, please comment and let me know what you think and how you use/store it. Thanks.

What else? Have fun, silly! And share your sexy secrets with me! Please?! I love talking about sex and stuff, Queen of TMI and all. Ha-ha! What do you like? What have you tried? Should I really get a Hitachi Magic Wand? Which attachments? Ha! Tell me all about it! <3

Rad Fatty Love to you ALL! XOXO

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7 Comments to

“TMI Tuesday…”

  1. On January 15th, 2013 at 5:51 am Veronica Says:

    While we’re on the subject, do you know what type of lube is best for sex in water (shower, tub, ocean, etc.)? I’m not talking brand here, but I wouldn’t think water based would be best for this? Any insight, O’ Queen of TMI?;)

  2. On January 15th, 2013 at 3:26 pm Not Blue at All Says:

    Veronica: That is an excellent question!!! I’m a big fan of my showerhead/massager…but lube? Hmm…this may actually be one for the internets, doll. Sorry.

  3. On January 15th, 2013 at 8:48 pm Nebet Says:

    Silicone-based lubricants are good for water activities because while they do wash off with water, they are thicker and longer-lasting to begin with and so tend to resist getting washed away for longer.

    That said…I’m not sure that sex IN water is a good idea. I personally would not want sea water (or pool or hot tub water) being shoved up into my body…I would be worried about microorganisms and/or pH imbalances from chemical treatments.

    But for the shower, yes. Silicone lube. 🙂 Just don’t use it with silicone toys without being sure that it won’t make them break down (i.e., do an itty bitty patch test.)

  4. On January 16th, 2013 at 7:40 am ann Says:

    coconut oil FTW!!!! the hubster and I use it. it is solid at room temp, but liquifies at body temp, excellent for massaging…. anywhere. It is a great sexual lubricant, but we don’t use any condoms (thank God for IUDs!). I bought organic, unrefined stuff and seperated out a bit to keep the bedroom. don’t keep it in the warm bathroom unless you want it liquid. It is really good for underwater activities as it is pretty stubborn to wash away!

  5. On January 17th, 2013 at 12:40 pm Not Blue at All Says:

    Ann: Thank you! I was wondering about the solid/liquid aspect.

  6. On February 25th, 2013 at 12:32 am Heather Says:

    Hi, I just stumbled upon your blog during another late night google search. 🙂 Masturbation is not something that is talked about in any sort of detail between my friends and I, and I was hoping you might have some advice for me. I have been single for a VERY long time, (10 years! omg!) and have been my only source of sexual release in all that time. It used to be a lot easier to masturbate, with or without toys, but I’ve gained a lot of weight in the past 5 years, and now I’ve reached the point where I’m not able to reach very well. Well enough for personal hygiene, but not well enough to reach and use a traditional vibrator/dildo/most any toy for long enough to be enjoyable. I don’t know if there are any out there, or any adaptations that you or anyone else can think of to help? Please let me know!! Thanks so much!

  7. On February 25th, 2013 at 11:46 am Not Blue at All Says:

    Heather: Thanks so much for your comment. Yes, reach is an issue for many of us! I would first suggest trying different positions. I used to do the solo-tango in the typical lay on your back, spread out, sort of way. But then I found that with certain toys, on all fours was better. With other toys, my beloved “Lucid Dreams” by Doc Johnson, for instance, is best on my back with my knees pulled up and to the sides of me. I know there’s been posts on this specific subject, but unfortunately I can’t recall and don’t have the links handy. I’ll see if I can write about something like this very soon. Thanks so much! <3

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