For some unknown reason (to me at least) my friends often come to me with their marriage or relationship woes. While I’ll admit to being a serial monogamist (except that one-hot winter of love in ’97) and never playing head games, it’s not like I’m of the utmost authority on the subject. Although some friends are surprised by my usually simple solutions to what they feel are the most complicated of problems. It seems everyone’s relationship is feeling the pinch along with our wallets.
Sure everyone has some sort of advice to offer. And hey, if you’re willing to pay for that advice, you’ll get a long line of people wanting to “help.” From Oprah to Rachel Ray, “The US Factor” program to yahoo! and AOL. Like this “article” which inspired my post today from AOL: http://www.aolhealth.com/healthy-living/relationships/sex-every-couple-needs
I find it interesting only because most of the people I know who are or have been in very long relationships (more than 5 years) don’t really have issues in the bedroom. In fact for many of my own friends, sex has never been an issue. While for me that’s not always the case, I am always open to advice/ideas on turning up the heat in the boudoir, as it were.
Then you have things like www.Advice.com , www.HealthyRelationshipCenter.com, www.MarriageAdvice.com, www.MarriageBuilders.com, www.marriage.about.com/od/advice/a/bestadvice.htm, www.romancestuck.com/marriage-advice.htm, www.yourromanceguide.com, www.equalityinmarriage.org and I’m sure thousands more!
I’ve never sought marriage or relationship advice online. I don’t know if I’ve ever sought the type of advice offered on such sites. While I personally think that marriage/relationships should be 50/50 all of the time and each person should be treated as an equal; I know that this is not always the preference for others. I have friends who are in more old fashioned relationships (wife cooks/cleans, etc…Husband works/smokes/drinks). I’ve known couples who appear more progressive to others (stay at home dad, career-driven mom). I love them all just the same.
Since this is about advice I shall offer my own golden rules of relationships:
1. Be Kind to each other, no matter what!
2. Be Grateful for each other, no matter what!
3. Be Respectful, always.
4. Be Fair above all else.
5. Be honest! Because honestly, no one wants to live a lie!
6. Be Open! If you are keeping that many secrets from your significant other, maybe there’s more advice to be sought than just relationship stuff.
7. Love with your whole self and open yourself to Be Loved by your significant other.
8. Enjoy! Seriously! Enjoy each other’s company and wisdom and humor and talents. Just Enjoy life together…no one knows what tomorrow holds.
9. Surprise each other! Be it something small like a text messaged Haiku (okay, my husband did this for awhile and I was walking on air) or flowers or a candlelight dinner for two at home…just do something special and fun for the love in your life.
10. Love Yourself, too! Because it is important to treat yourself with the same love and respect you give your S.O. This I have personally found to be true. Even when you’re single, no one wants to date/hang out with someone who doesn’t even care for themselves.
I hope my advice isn’t too boring. For the record my husband and I have been together for almost 11 years (almost 5 married) and we’re still best friends and dork-supremes together! It helps a great deal that our best friends are also long-timers and have been together going on 13 years now. I know that everyone’s relationship is different (like snowflakes), but some things should never change.
My favorite quote of all time, “kind words are short and easy to speak but their echoes are truly endless” by Mother Theresa sort of sums up what I think is right and wrong in the world. If we all just took a moment (it’s shorter than a minute) each day to say something kind to someone (even to ourselves) the world would be a much better place to live in.
What relationship advice has helped you? What do you think of this type of advice overall? What did you think of my golden rules for relationships? Tell me about it! Comment Now! =0)

Thanks for reading!
notblueatall