I'm just a fat gal with a blog and an opinion. Well, lots of opinions.

Tell Me Tuesday!


Hey! I didn’t receive any submissions for Tank Top Tuesday this week and I spaced on even attempting to take one of me, so, let’s just vent our shit out in comments! I know the last two weeks have been crazy-busy for most or at the very least stress inducing. Why not get some things off your chest?! Please feel free to engage in discussion in comments, too! I love when that happens. We have so much in common, you just don’t even know! Okay? Cool! Vent away!!!

Also, feel free to continue to use to comments section for your TMI questions and stories! Woo!

And please consider submitting a photo for next week’s Tank Top Tuesday. You can email them here: Please include the name you’d like used, any blogs/sites you’d like to plug and what you think/feel about baring your arms!




I’ll go first!

So, it’s been a week since I sold my cafe. It feels very strange to not have that weighty burden on my shoulders. I keep expecting something bad to occur because of it. I want to fully enjoy myself and this time I have with my husband, his mom and our niece, but his mom (and subsequently now our niece) won’t stop with the big butt and bubble butt comments even after my husband explained that it could be damaging to our niece. *HeadDesk* Then at dinner last night she was describing someone she works with, “Well, she has a huge butt, but that’s the only thing wrong with her…” UGH!!!WHAT?! REallY?! I don’t understand her incessant comments about her own body, food, calories, the word “fattening”, etc…when she turns around and orders things I couldn’t imagine eating (fried mostly, make me ill if I eat it). She is constantly trying to feed us snacks and “Life” waters and garbage. There is no way she eats like this at home, right?! Is she just vacation eating? Is she nuts? I am beginning to believe that by the time she and our niece leave, my husband and I will be cured of our indecision to have a child. Ha-ha! This has been a vent. Thanks.

24 Comments to

“Tell Me Tuesday!”

  1. On August 16th, 2011 at 1:39 pm E. Ai B. Says:

    Ah don’t let impact your decision to be or not to be a parent either way. lol.

    And since when did having a bit butt become an insult? Even when I was younger, that was never tossed around as a low blow. It’s more like. YEAH! Her BUTT IS HUGE! 🙂 Ghetto booty was tossed around as a beauty term, I swear it. Your husband should have akwardly butted in (hah) and been like “Giant butts are fantastic.”<—conversation end-er. Though I guess not entirely appro. for your niece, but neither is negative huge-butt talk!!

  2. On August 16th, 2011 at 1:44 pm Not Blue at All Says:

    @E. Ai B.: I agree, but we were so tired after so much swimming, I don’t think either of us had the energy to speak up. We did exchange a wuick look of “UGH!”, but admittedly that was the end of it. I’ll try to gather some sanity points and some humor and see if that helps. =0)

  3. On August 16th, 2011 at 4:35 pm Lady ATX Says:

    My venting for today:
    -I love swimming–it is my favorite form of exercise. I am an extremely dyed redhead and I seldom swim because I don’t want my hair to fade. How vain is that??!!! Do swim caps actually work? I have convinced myself that the water will still get up in there and kill my hair dye. I also have a slight fear of turning the water around me pink.
    -I am writing a textbook and I just realized that I will not get one penny of money for it until my first royalty check which should come oh, in about mid-2013. So I get to work my ass off for a year and a half with no financial reward. Ugh. On the upside, I think the book is going to be beautiful.
    -I want high heels, I crave them. I cannot walk in them without clumsiness or pain. Anyone have good recommendations for “starter” heels. (Hee hee–I like to think of them as “training heels”, similar to what you would find on a bike!)
    Venting aside–Happy Tuesday to you! And as always ,thanks for listening and being here.

  4. On August 16th, 2011 at 5:21 pm Not Blue at All Says:

    @Lady ATX: Thank you for sharing your vent here! I am not sure how swim caps work, I mean I thought they were just for pros or to keep hair out of the pool. But dye? My MIL says the water won’t turn red unless it’s a rinse/wash out color and that the swim cap should in fact protect your hair color for you. Might ask around.
    Textbook? Cool! Bummer about the pay though. Sorry, doll.
    I feel ya on the training heels, but after breaking my foot I swore I wouldn’t wear uncomfortable footwear ever again! So if you do find something that works for you, you simply must share!!! <3

  5. On August 16th, 2011 at 6:21 pm Twistie Says:

    I have nothing really to vent. I just had to come and gloat at all your other readers that I GET TO MEET YOU IN PERSON TOMORROW!!!!

    That is all.

    And damn, that is good.

  6. On August 17th, 2011 at 8:21 am Not Blue at All Says:

    @Twistie: It’s true! Ha-ha! You’re the best kind of bad, too! <3

  7. On August 16th, 2011 at 7:33 pm sabrina Says:

    @NotBlue – I have to say, that I imagine you are an absolutely fantastic role model for your niece during this, shall we say, harrowing time? Seriously, just by being YOU, you’re letting her know that OMGZBIGBUTTS isn’t the worst thing on the planet. In fact, it’s a delightful thing on the planet! So well done you, I say.

    @ Lady ATX – I’m a HUGE fan of the stacked heel, it’s the only way I can wear heels. More comfortable, you feel more solid on your feet, plus they’re kind of vintage-y retro-y fabulous!

  8. On August 17th, 2011 at 8:22 am Not Blue at All Says:

    @Sabrina: Thank you, hun. But I feel like a failure for not speaking up on the matter at all. It’s like all of my activism and love for my own body went out the window as I sat/stood there in shock. UGH!

  9. On August 16th, 2011 at 9:39 pm anonymousYay Says:

    Yay for swimming and MEGA BLEAH for the butt comments. I think I would have blown a fuse on this one and probably threw the woman out.

    My vent for today; just stumbled upon pure weightloss talk on a fatosphere blog (not yours). Made me sad.

  10. On August 17th, 2011 at 8:23 am Not Blue at All Says:

    @anonymousYay: Oh noes! On a blog in the Notes From The Fat-O-Sphere feed?! That is wrong wrong wrong! You can report them (I think) to FatLotOfGood’s Bri, who is the admin for the feed.

  11. On August 16th, 2011 at 9:54 pm Lauren Says:

    I have this guy who lives next to me who is kinda creeping me out. I tend to be more lenient with the creepers than most women, mainly because I do not often feel feminine and thus not threatened by men who might prey on such ladies. This guy though has been setting off all kinds of warning bells for me though.

    To set things, he is an old acquaintance of my boyfriend. We would see him on the street every so often, and chat a bit, and then go our separate ways. He asked for our phone numbers one day just so we could maybe hang out sometime, but it never happened. Then one day he was lamenting that it had been a long time since he had been to Great America, where my boyfriend and I both work. I had some employee comp tickets lying around, so, feeling generous, I gave him a couple. Latter, he got back to me that he had enjoyed himself, and would like to buy so of the discount employee tickets I have the option to buy. I gave him my phone number so he could contact me when he go the money together to buy them.

    This is when things start getting a bit weird. He has my phone number, and I expect him to call me when he has the money for the tickets. Instead, out of the blue, he texts me one morning asking if I am busy that day. I say no, and he asks if I want to have lunch with him. I’m kinda going WTF, but OK, he says he just wants to hang out. I ask him where, and he says his place. This really puts me on my guard, ’cause I’ve never been over to his place before, even though it is in the next building over, and I know he splits his room with a guy I don’t know. I don’t refuse though, but just the weird feeling keeps gnawing at the back of my mind, so I make sure to call my bestie to let her know where I am and when I am planing on getting back, just in case, yah know?
    So I go over, we chill, we talk, we have grilled cheeze. He talks about this new girl he’s dating who sounds like a total nut job, but w/e.

    I go home, go about my day, and think to myself, “Huh, that wasn’t so bad.” Then the creeppy comes out. He keeps texting me. Like, “good morning, just wanted to say hi!” and “Good night!” WTF? My boyfriend doesn’t even text me that much. I don’t respond, thinking he might get the hint that I am not going to respond to his every text out burst, but eventually I actually block his number, even though I know that he will be getting in contact with me soon for the tickets. I’m not the kind to skirt these kinds of things with people, but the fact that he lives so close to me…. ugh.

  12. On August 17th, 2011 at 8:28 am Not Blue at All Says:

    @Lauren: And if you have warning bells going off, gurl, you need to listen to them! So many women (specifically, but surely for guys too) ignore those warning signs and end up a victim. I don’t see you as a victim at all, but it sounds like you’re listening to your instincts and trying to play it safe. But this guy needs to know where the boundaries are! Have you talked to your bf about it? I think you should specifically ask this guy to lay off the texting and explain that you don’t usually receive so many texts and it was a bit alarming for you. That is giving him the benefit of the doubt here; that he may not in fact be a creep…BUT I also think you should carry pepper spray! I do. I’ve had to use it before (at the RWC train station many years ago) and I was so grateful for having it! Now I just feel safer knowing it’s there if I need to get away from some horrible situation. It’s not a gun, it’s nothing permanent, but it is something! You use public transportation enough that I’m surprised you don’t carry something already (I’m assuming). **Hugs** Miss you lovely, take care of you!!!

  13. On August 17th, 2011 at 2:08 am Eclectica Says:

    just done a thoughtful post about my eating habits on my blog as it still seems to be something I need to actively think about as my thought processes are still screwed up. Annoying but true.

    Went swimming yesterday with toddler and a friend. Looked at myself in mirror while in swimsuit and thought I looked good. Actually first thought was Nice Rank 😉

  14. On August 17th, 2011 at 8:31 am Not Blue at All Says:

    @Eclectica: Woo Hoo to swimming!!! I realized yesterday while washing my suit again that the white trim is turning green! NO! I spent way too much on that thing for this to happen, man. I’m bummed. Now I gotta see what I can do to find a new one or get the green out somehow. I think it’s from this spray on sunscreen and not the pool as it was designed for heavy usage (Junonia).
    Yes, I also need to actively think and rethink my eating habits and choices. Especially now that I’ve sold the cafe and have had 90% of my meals out the last two weeks. =0)

  15. On August 17th, 2011 at 6:11 am Chutti Says:

    Not gonna kvetch around here, as I think once I get going I won’t stop! But thanks for offering the space.
    Opinionated swim lady chiming in, though. Right before I head off to the pool for my sanity-saving laps.

    I color my hair -a lot. From a medium brown to a light strawberry blonde, and I swim 3-5 times a week. Red does fade the fastest, but I was red for a while 2-3 yrs ago. Yes, you need a cap. Your hair will still get a little wet, but Splurge for the good ones. I use a speedo with a lycra liner inside a silicone cap. Silicone= good for protection/owie pull hairs….liner=good. Put a little of your regular conditioner on your hair, then put on the cap. Rinse your hair in the pool shower as soon as you get out.
    I am not totally ‘poo free”, but only use a cream shampoo that has no sulfates. Maybe every 4-5 days? And no, it’s not cheap, but it’s not expensive like Wen, either. I figure it comes out to the same price as drugstore, since I use it less. I have dry, long curly hair, and am convinced it would fall out if I didn’t follow this program. It’s been working for me for several years now. If MY hair can survive, anyone’s can.
    Ugh. I feel your pain on the textbook! I worked sales and marketing for publishers for 15 yrs, and now am on the ed-tech side. I get sick to my stomach when people (my lovely boss included) talk about those greedy publishers who make so much money. And how shocking it is that textbooks cost so much. Where do they think we hide the elves who create the stuff they ask for? And open source stuff is a lovely idea, but you really do get what you pay for. Sheesh. I hear ya loud and clear. And congrats on birthing your book! Only the best of the best are making it these days, so I know you are good.
    I have to put in a plug for my beloved Born shoes. Spendy, yess. Comfy AND cute, yesss. You should get the styles that actually have some flex. Lots of great platform wedges, but even some heels that are nice. Look for shoes that have at least 1/2 inch of cush under the ball of your foot. For me, I also want some flex to the heel. They do show up at Marshalls, and I have been getting them at good prices on EBay. A gamble, but I have enough of them, I pretty much can tell by looking which styles will fit me. They are the tops.

  16. On August 17th, 2011 at 8:34 am Not Blue at All Says:

    @Chutti: Wow! You swim that much? That’s fabulous! Thank you for sharing your expert tips, too! I love Born shoes, but haven’t found any that fit right. I bought a couple from eBay, still have one pair, but never wear ’em. I’ll keep an eye out at the Marshalls and see, I haven’t shopped there in ages. Ha! You rock!

  17. On August 17th, 2011 at 9:50 am Lauren Says:

    @Notbuleatall: Well, I texted him this morning telling him that if he wanted his tickets, he could get in contact with my boyfriend, and a separate text about how the frequent texting was creeping me out. Apparently his new phone has been sending out group texts instead of individuals and I was like the 6th person to contact him complaining about it. He’s turned off the function. Still having him go to my BF for the tickets though. I’m feeling better for bringing up to him, and finding out that this is possibly not as weird a situation as I thought it might be. Still, having something to take with me when I am commuting on the bus at night might be helpful.

  18. On August 17th, 2011 at 8:30 pm Not Blue at All Says:

    @Lauren: Oh good! I feel better now, too! Whew! And here is the pepper spray that I bought:

  19. On August 17th, 2011 at 11:20 am LadyATX Says:

    Thank you so much for some fantastic advice!!!

  20. On August 17th, 2011 at 8:30 pm Not Blue at All Says:

    @LadyATX: You are quite welcome from myself and from Chutti! <3

  21. On August 17th, 2011 at 4:38 pm Chutti Says:

    @lauren-oyouhh….that does sound like one creepy guy. Glad you are taking it seriously and talking about it. Really should let the BF know-he may have some back story? Or just be ready to have your back.

    I’m so impressed you actually USED your pepper spray. I used to carry one before I was all the time on planes. Probably ought to get meself one again.
    I’m just not comfortable with the responsibility of a weapon that can do permanent damage. I’m not easily scared, but I used to manage a store at Valley Fair mall and leave there alone after midnight on a regular basis. I could call security to walk me to my car in the parking lot, but the old russian guy on duty couldn’t run as fast as I could in heels. There were two car-jackings in that place, and I was afraid the whole time i worked there. That place seemed like a magnet for folks who were up to no good.
    Thanks for reminding me the pepper spray is a good way to add safety without too much responsibility.

    girls need to be able to take care of ourselves!

  22. On August 17th, 2011 at 8:32 pm Not Blue at All Says:

    @Chutti: Yeah, after getting out of an abusive relationship (for 5 yrs) and then suddenly having to move back home and not have a car for awhile? I was beyond on edge. The pepper spray just made me feel slightly more in control, like at least I know I will have an “out.” And closing a store in any mall is spooky as hell! I hated closing at Eastridge & Vallco the worst! UGH! I do not miss those places! Here is the spray I bought:

  23. On August 21st, 2011 at 10:37 am thirtiesgirl Says:

    You sold your cafe? Wow! I have to read back over older blog posts, but I didn’t know you were selling it. Do you have a plan for what you want to do next, or are you waiting to see what turns up/what you’re inspired to do?

  24. On August 21st, 2011 at 10:57 am Not Blue at All Says:

    @thirtiesgirl: Yep, and what a relief! No plans, you pretty much said it…just looking for what the universe decides to offer me this time. =0)

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