Shout Out To The Busty Traveler!
If you haven’t been following her blog (get over there!) you simply must read this post! This is how I often feel in FA. I’ve made some missteps, but damn, sometimes I just stay mute in fear of the inevitable verbal beat-down! And I hate that! (Awful childhood memories of being told not to talk unless I had something worthwhile to say.) I am of the thinking that you learn by experience and exposure and if you are new to Fat Acceptance, don’t hold back! ASK QUESTIONS! Lots of them, please! But please, do not slam someone for sheer ignorance! I am possibly the least educated of fat bloggers, but so fucking what?! I have a voice and I choose to use it! I have this blog so that other newbies and fats can ask questions and express themselves, too! I think there is room for everyone! If someone says something that burns your biscuits, take a deep breath and think on it a minute, then re-read their comment/post and think about what might have motivated it or perhaps address it as you would someone who hasn’t been exposed to all things politically correct and true. For years I used two words that once I found out their origin and meaning (as opposed to how they are often used in common phrasing) I stopped using them. I was horrified. And let’s be honest here, most people don’t know a lot about the words they use. I sure as shit don’t know the origins of most words, but I like finding out! So show me! Hold my hand if you must, but don’t disrespect someone for not knowing! We all have area/topics where we could use a little more information. Teach with love, not a ruler to the knuckles.
Thank you to Beej, of thebustytraveler.blogspot.com & Julie (the OP) for writing and posting and sharing your refreshing perspective on this touchy subject. *tips hat to you both*
Great post! I was brought by bait and switch however. I am a 36G and I travel a lot. How funny. If anyone had tips please share ’em.
I couldn’t agree more with your post. THe fatosphere should be for every fat person who wants to be here. We do not all have advanced degrees in literature or womens studies and we are not all up on the latest lingo. It doesn’t make a person bigoted or stupid to be that way as long as they want to learn. I would feel terrible if I was shot down the way some people are. I have used words that I have learned are not what I want to say and I have changed.
Like you blog.
Thanks again. Great post!
Oh! Ha-ha! Sorry, doll, I hadn’t thought of that. Tips for the well-endowed? I’m a 48DD, so I feel I can relate, but I don’t really know of any tips for travel.
Thanks for reading & commenting. You’re rad!
Thanks again for being fearless enough to stay open. I really appreciate your perspective and courage. I come from a family that is big on shaming folks for not knowing highfalutin’ things, so I try my best not to be too didactic. Which I hope mostly works, cause while I am fairly smart and educated, I am a big bumbling dork most of the time and wouldn’t have it any other way.l
So I felt the need to contribute a busty traveler tip. Always take the window seat and face the girls that way so you don’t have to negotiate them socially. Also gives me more room for my butt. But probably wouldn’t work if weren’t really short.
Thank you. I had never considered myself “fearless” but I appreciate the compliment. I just hate to think that in FA there are still those who feel like outsiders. I think everyone is welcome and if not, then they are here.
Thanks for the travel tip, yeah the window seat is probably best. Ha!
Hee! Being a 40C, I almost didn’t bother to read this one.
My experience has been that most spaces in the Fatosphere tend to be pretty polite, with one or two exceptions, and everyone gets their knickers in a twist now and again. But I have tried in some communities to make of point of jumping in ASAP with a gentle explanation of why a particular turn of phrase or assumption is problematic at best in hopes of heading off the more strident at the pass.
Maybe it’s the blogs I’ve been reading, but the description of the worst of the Fatosphere has only a passing connection to most of the extant ones I follow. Things could definitely get wild and wooly in that way on Shapely Prose, but they’ve lived on only in archive for some months now.
But then I don’t follow every blog. I read the ones that tend to appeal to my taste, and it may be that I’ve missed something.
Oh you! You’re too funny!
You’re right about most blogs being more open/accepting, but like you I don’t read ’em all. I have felt the brunt of someone’s verbal smack down myself once. And that is probably why her post struck such a chord with me. Hopefully no one else has to deal with that or worry, in fear, that they can’t speak up. Thanks.
Thanks for the shot out <3 Just because someone is uneducated doesn't mean they aren't still intelligent and compassionate!
You got it! Right on the nose, my dear! *hugs*
Hmmm… I posted something there last night, but either got rejected or am still waiting for approval. I said that this problem had come up a lot in Usenet, and groups dealt with it by having a FAQ (different from a comments policy) to which people new to the group could be referred. How else do you deal with frustration on both sides?
I confess to signing in as Anonymous (NOT the Anonymous who complained about newbies) because I’m tired of opening up new accounts for almost everything on the net that includes a transaction or just an interaction. Is there something about putting up a blog that makes it a hassle to request a Name/Email/Website/Captcha? Wouldn’t that be sufficient for making someone traceable, which I assume is the idea?
I’ve been into Fat Acceptance since the 1980’s or so (converted to the idea in the 1970’s after reading a book called Fat Pride), although not much of an activist. But that doesn’t save me from making the occasional misstep.
NotBlueAtAll, you’re so right about lingo! I enjoy etymology, but I keep falling behind on current usage because I don’t watch tv and am not a movie-goer. Also, there are all these subtle regional and class differences, not to mention people for whom English is not the first language. You’d be amazed at some of the words whose connotations have gone from good to bad, and vice versa.
I would be all for an FAQ, but the issue there is that there is no official FA hub of any sort. Maybe the HAES com or even BigFatBlog.com, they save FAQ’s I believe. But unless you know where to look I would imagine that it would be difficult to find. Great idea!
As for commenting on blogs? I’ve only ever had to put in my username and email, not sign up for a new account of any sort. Most blogs either have it that way or an option for you to sign in using a google/livejournal/or other type of pre-existing account. Sorry, I’ve not encountered this.
And you’re absolutely right, there are people from all over the world participating in FA and we all need to be more mindful of that fact. Thank you!
Thanks for the share.
I’ve been shot down more times than I can remember by a small number of very hostile FA activists. It is only a minority but they can be so scathing, such bullies, that it’s no wonder that so many just bail out and get defensive about it. I still say it’s only because I’m bolshie that I’m still here.
What we really should be bothered by are those who despite the fact that you try to respectfully expand their thinking and challenge their statements, turn directly to ad hominem attacks and bring their buddies in on it. They’re the one that need to be dropped on from a great height, not the people who are still exploring and learning.
I guess I have been lucky for incurring anyone’s wrath too badly. That just sounds awful! But then again, it takes all types to keep this world spinning, so I’m not surprised, either. Perhaps this is why so many of us bloggers sort of stick together, you know? Glad to have you, Kath!
To Mulberry – (My blog doesn’t require approval for comments or a captcha, or to sign up for anything if you don’t choose!) So I’m sorry your comment wasn’t posted D:
No worries, Toots – I thought I might have been mistaken for the other Anonymous, or misspoken somehow.
NotBlueAtAll: I don’t have a Google account, or WordPress, or LiveJournal, or any of the other listed choices. You probably are already signed on to one of those.
I wonder if there could be a master faq referenced by all the relevant bloggers? Sometimes individual blogs have their own such faqs, but do blogs have enough in common to make such an undertaking useful? Do any other groups of blogs do anything like that? Did it only work well on Usenet because the groups there were organized into hierarchies?
I’m unfamiliar with Usenet. I do think that each FA blog may have a similar general overall sort of theme, but each tend to have their own individual targets/goals/etc.