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Self-Care: Vital To My Well-Being


In my last podcast, Golda and I chatted quite a bit about self-care and how important it is. We also discussed the struggles we have in keeping with it. It will be the first thing you toss out the window/give up because it affects no one but you and no one will remind you to do it. Don’t I know it?! Whew! It is something I often preach about (I dislike the word preach, but at this point I think it’s apt), yet even I have a difficult time sticking to it! It’s sad, but very true. Especially when we are stressed, busy, in crisis mode, etc…we drop the one thing that, often, keeps us going.  That funk ‘o mine? Probably due to a complete and utter lack of self-care, y’all! No doubt! (With a healthy side of depression for good luck!)

Sometimes it really is the little things that matter. I realized this on Sunday, while getting all dolled up for the fatshion swap. I remembered how I used to put on make up every day before (or even at) work. How I always felt like I didn’t know what the hell I was doing yet somehow found it almost fun. And the feedback I got (and am still getting) floored me! I am most comfortable without make up and hairspray and pearls, but I like those things, too. I am more than a one dimensional gal, what can I say?

Yesterday I finally got down to brass tacks as they say and did some much needed and long overdue self-care! It is still a bit humbling to speak of my financial status, but I’m owning it anyway. I used to get monthly pedicures and thought nothing of it. Now? *sigh* Now I must DIY anything I can’t buy for less than five bucks. For realz. It just is. So I gave myself a pedicure last night (husband went fishing, no bites sadly). My toe nails were painted and pedicured…TWO months ago! Yikes! My toe nails were long, as you can imagine, and long overdue for attention. I bought that Easy Feet thing (as seen on t.v.) and used that in the shower with my husband’s lovely tea tree body wash. Later, after many more errands and chores were completed, I finally did the whole schpeil. I didn’t get to paint them (couldn’t find my base or top coats), but I did cut, file, trim them and pumiced my heels. WOW! What a difference?!

This also led to my putting up a lil pic I found on Tumblr, to remind myself to floss, like, every day! I floss when I remember and lately that is never.My memory is the worst lately and I’m not sure why (okay, stress is why). Now when I go to the restroom or brush my teeth I see that little comic-gal and her message: “Floss Those Shits” and I giggle and I want to floss! It’s magical, I tell ya! (click pic for original poster on tumblr.)

I do believe, in my great 33 year old wisdom, that self-care is fucking vital to my well-being. I have seen what not doing it can lead to (vicious spirals of sad) and how much better I feel when I’m doing it daily! It’s not always such an undertaking though (and yeah, I consider a pedicure an undertaking). You can do anything for yourself, so long as you enjoy it or it gives you pleasure. It can be as tiny as doing your hair different or wearing a special outfit. It can also be big pampering things or lovely simple things like feeling the breeze or your hair on your bare back (a lovely feeling if you can manage it, I’m growing my hair out to get there again it was that lovely). It doesn’t have to be a big to-do or fuss. In fact I would say it shouldn’t be, but whatever works for you is fine.

It shouldn’t take very long and should fit nicely into your current routine or schedule. I like to use music or just a few quiet minutes in the morning before I open the cafe for business. You can dance, you can sing (or both), you can read a comic book (I recommend “Lenore” she’s my fave)…anything! Cooking, baking, sewing…creative stuff is rad! Or even just buying a new lip gloss or getting a massage from a loved one. All of these things and so much more. But don’t pressure yourself. It defeats the purpose of it, honestly. This isn’t homework or an assignment, this is you doing something for you!

So paint your nails a fun color, let your hair down, wear jeans, or whatever you do that makes you more comfortable or more authentically you! Throw on that Salt ‘N Pepa song (“Tramp” just came on my iPod and is taking me waaaaay back!) and let the music take control, let the music move you! (Ha-ha!) Or you know what? Just daydream for fuck’s sake! How often do we get to do that these days? But most of all, enjoy it! And don’t forget to do it (if you can help it).


posted under DIY, Easy, Free, FUN!, inspiration
19 Comments to

“Self-Care: Vital To My Well-Being”

  1. On April 14th, 2011 at 5:13 am Arpita Says:

    Salt ‘n’ Pepa, cool. My favorite self care/self confidence/self love song is “Grown Woman” Mary J. Blige. A lot of the time I feel just plain OLD, but with Mary J.’s help I remember that I am a GROWN woman!

  2. On April 14th, 2011 at 7:52 am Not Blue at All Says:

    I feel old a lot, too. Thus the Salt ‘N Pepa! Ha! Honestly? It’s not easy, but always worth it. And I love Mary J’s “Grown Woman” it’s so fabulous! I can’t help but strut around when that comes on. =0)

  3. On April 14th, 2011 at 7:49 am jery Says:

    Nice Post!! You are so right about that little pic. I saw it and I giggled. It’s just too cute not to. Although, I am right there with you on the flossing. And what sucks is that we have or rather had four little cases of floss lying around the ol’ homestead. The Salt ‘N Pepa comment made me laugh too. I can just imagine the way you would say that ” taking me waaaaay back!”
    I love the do something for yourself encouragement. But I have to admit, I kinda feel like I am too selfish about that. Hahaha.

  4. On April 14th, 2011 at 7:54 am Not Blue at All Says:

    I’ve had that pic in our bathroom for two days and last night B just noticed it. Ha! I love it and I have been flossing ever since! We have tons of extra floss if ya ever need. Dentist keeps giving them to us. Too selfish doing it or not doing it (self-care)? Because the point is to take care of you, ’cause if you don’t what good are you for anyone else, ya know?

  5. On April 14th, 2011 at 10:01 am Twistie Says:

    Oh man this is so true.

    The other day I baked my first cake of the year. Of. The. Year. Seriously. I hadn’t baked in literally months. So having a good friend over for dinner was a good excuse to do something I really need to do a lot more often. I suddenly felt so much more in touch with ME I can’t even tell you.

    I hadn’t baked in so long because the kitchen kept being filled up with stuff that doesn’t belong in the kitchen, and when that happens I sometimes just give up and don’t bother trying to find space to cook in. Mr. Twistie invited a good friend of ours over for dinner, so I told him all that shit had to get the hell out of my kitchen or he was going out for fast food and standing up to eat it because our buddy and I would take the two seats available in the living room.

    Now that I’ve done a chocolate cake with ginger buttercream, and my kitchen table has been unearthed, I’m thinking I may make myself some scones, sit down with Pride and Prejudice, and give myself a long overdue manicure.

    But first I’m watching an old Julia Child show. Julia makes me happy.

  6. On April 14th, 2011 at 10:11 am Not Blue at All Says:

    Oh I so feel you on the baking thing! And yeah, my tiny kitchen gets filled up with crap constantly! Oh man! I have never made scones without a mix, but I love that you’re going to give yourself a manicure while watching P&P and eating scones…do you have Devonshire cream? The best! Sounds like a perfect afternoon to me! <3

  7. On April 14th, 2011 at 10:33 am Twistie Says:

    “do you have Devonshire cream?”

    Not yet… but my neighborhood grocery store carries it!

    And right now Julia Child is making me want to try making my own puff pastry. It’s been calling my name of late, and here I tune in to watch my first Julia show in forever and she’s making puff pastry and making it look so damn easy. I think I’m going to pick a recipe and give it a go this week.

    As for scones? Dead easy. Once you try them from scratch you will wonder why you ever bought a mix. They’re really quite simple and remarkably forgiving. Also? They take about an extra five minutes.

  8. On April 14th, 2011 at 10:40 am Not Blue at All Says:

    Puff pastry? Let me know how that goes. I love the stuff! And do share your recipe or point me to a fave, I love scones soooo much!

  9. On April 14th, 2011 at 12:08 pm catgal Says:

    Self care is the first thing that does out the window when my depression is bad. No hairstlye, minimal makeup, dowdy clothing. I was in a bad state for a while there. But now I am a Sephora junkie!

  10. On April 14th, 2011 at 12:09 pm Not Blue at All Says:

    Oh, absolutely. So, how do we help ourselves through that, though? How do we stick to the self-care through depression? Because I’m the same way, but I would rather do better for me and possibly shorten the depression by doing so.

  11. On April 14th, 2011 at 4:53 pm Chutti Says:

    I hear you on the make up and depression thing. I feel no compunction to ‘keep myself up”, yet notice when I feel lack of support or respect, I have less than no desire to put my game face on. I actually enjoy getting kind of dolled up for my business travel-where I am-surprise-more or less respected.

    And oy, I am sooo on the baking makes me feel good bandwagon. I don’t do it enough, and shan’t until we get all moved into our new house. After which I will start the great citrus meringue pie experiment all over again.

    I’ve got a good basic scone recipe, but I am going to share my faboo vegan pumpkin scones with y’all instead. These are fast and easy-I usually make a big batch and freeze some. 30 sec in the micro and they are ready to roll.

    Vegan Pumpkin Scones:
    1/2 C. sugar
    3 1/2 C Flour ( yummy with a mix of whole wheat or gluten free is fine)
    2 tsp Baking Powder (I like the non-aluminum-hate that taste)
    2 tsp powdered ginger
    1 tsp grated fresh ginger
    1/4 tsp cinnamon and/or pumpkin pie spice
    1/4 C margarine or shortening of your choice
    2 Tbs coconut oil (other is fine, this is just yummy)
    2 C Pureed pumpkin (canned is fine)

    for topping:
    2 Tbs margarine or shortening
    handfull of chopped candied ginger
    handfull of chopped nuts ( hazelnuts are great!)
    handfull of brown sugar/succanat/etc.

    1. Combine dry ingredients
    2. Cut in Margarine/Shortening and oil. Add Pumpkin and ginger.
    3. Knead until it holds together, shape into one or two discs.
    4. Mix topping ingredients with hands, crumble into top of discs.
    5. Cut discs into pie-shaped wedges, bake on cookie sheet at 425 for 12 to 15 minutes.

    You can play with adding dried fruit, different nuts, chai spices, whatevs. These are yummy yummy, and so easy my niece could make them before she was in school.

    Dang. Now I want to cook something!
    Maybe I will paint my toes instead.
    How crazy is it that we have to give ourselves permission to do something we want to do?
    Hey-what if I could put something in the oven, and paint my toenails while it’s baking? Then I’d be feeling super decadent.

  12. On April 15th, 2011 at 8:06 am Not Blue at All Says:

    Oh! Vegan-pumpkin Scones?! You are a dream maker, lady! I used to adore vegan baking, but I haven’t baked anything in ages. Thank you for sharing this recipe. One question, I don’t own a microwave (long story), can I just reheat in the over or will they dry out too much? Thanks again, you made my morning with this! =0)

  13. On April 14th, 2011 at 7:06 pm Amanda Says:

    I have never been big on a lot of the extras when it comes to self care. I feel good after a nice shower and some extra sleep. My musts for mental health though totally include creating and writing things. I also just started swimming again which I have found is really good meditation for me.

    Listening to that podcast really made me want a massage, but they are so expensive! That would be the only reason I would want to be rich. Unlimited massages!

  14. On April 15th, 2011 at 8:11 am Not Blue at All Says:

    Massage is fab and can be expensive. I would suggest looking up a local school (we have NHI here, where my husband went) because they often offer clinics for very cheap so their students can interact with actual clients. Worth it! Also, Massage Envy is a chain that offers 1 hour for $50 (may be less where you are). And look in the paper or groupon or living social, they almost always have some massage/spa deal going on. I am all about saving while pampering! Ha-ha! I would love to swim, but our pool is freezing cold most of the time and when it’s not it’s full of kiddies. Boo!
    I should see how much the YMCA charges for swim. Hmm…Thanks for that! And thanks for listening to the podcasts. I sometimes forget anyone knows about ’em. =0)

  15. On April 15th, 2011 at 5:24 am catgal Says:

    This is the question, I guess. I don’t know if your self-care dowfall during depression extends to house cleaning as well. But the best advice I got from a friend was to do one simple thing. Make the bed. I don’t know why this works, but it does. I think that the state of your surroundings mirrors the state of your mind. For me, making the bed is the first step back to self care…

  16. On April 15th, 2011 at 8:15 am Not Blue at All Says:

    House cleaning is the bane of my existence, happy or sad. Ha! My husband and I share most of the housework, but I’m a slacker for sure. I get what you’re saying though and there are certain things that if I let go, really affect me. I will keep this in mind next time I’m having a tough one. Thanks!

  17. On April 15th, 2011 at 9:27 am catgal Says:

    I also detest housework. But for some reason, just seeing that one (rather large) neat thing in the bedroom does something for the psyche.

  18. On April 15th, 2011 at 9:44 am Not Blue at All Says:

    Come to think of it, I do make the bed every morning when I get out of the shower before I get dressed. Sounds a bit strange, but I guess it’s such a part of my routine I had forgotten. Thanks for the reminder! And happy Friday! =0)

  19. On April 15th, 2011 at 2:50 pm Chutti Says:

    Oh, making the BEDDDDdd. That’s what I love about duvets-totally begging the question. Not gonna happen around here. Fortunately hubs does most of the home care, so it no longer is an issue. The state of my home office? Definitely an indication of my general level of stress (as I wheel the chair around 3 different piles of crapola).

    I do get a sense of accomplishment and relief if I actually do some kind of cleany thing most of the time.

    And yes-those scones are super moist-you most certainly can re-heat them.

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