I'm just a fat gal with a blog and an opinion. Well, lots of opinions.



Talking with a fantastically wonderful friend the other day we discussed how life changing meeting a new person can be. Every person we meet, regardless of the context or relationship itself, has the potential to change us, teach us, grow us and expose us to  things and ways of thinking we’d never experienced before. For better or for worse, some of the people we meet give us a very special gift, a whole new way of seeing the world or ourselves, like getting a new pair of glasses. I like to think of this concept as “Perspective Lenses” (instead of prescription ones, yes?).

I have met people who have allowed me to see the world differently and myself differently, too. It’s like I had blinders on or maybe I was just going through the motions of life for awhile there on auto pilot. It’s sad to consider, but since all of that seems so far behind me I don’t mind. Ha! I think back to just a year ago when I sold my cafe and walked away. Whew! What a weight lifted from my mind! I cannot put into words how that felt. It was good. I held onto a lot of anxiety about it for a few months after the fact, but the daily grind was gone and that was enough to lift my spirits for awhile.

Getting out and about more while out of work also helped me to see the world differently. Like the brief but impactful conversation I’d had in Downtown San Jose with a homeless man who was working on his great novel. When I mentioned that I too had intentions of writing a book, his face lit up and he paused his brisk pace and looked at me and smiled, “A fellow writer!” I will never forget that. It’s only an instant, but it’s human connection on a spiritual level. That is the spice of life!

Sometimes you make a new friend or acquaintance and whether or not they stay in your life or not, you’re completely changed! Even after participating in the fat acceptance/liberation movement for years I never once thought that I was actually beautiful other than on the inside. It didn’t matter much to me and I wasn’t seeking some sort of validation outside of myself for it either. But you meet people and hear their views and thoughts and it took  meeting these magnificent beings for me to see the beauty and strength in myself that was there all along. Perhaps I needed a guide of sorts to lead the way, but once I saw myself in this new light there was no turning back.

Random conversations in bars and on the train or the grocery store or street corner, these are those special moments that spark creativity or epiphanies or sudden desires to improve oneself or get out and experience the world MORE! I love this. This is what I’m after. This is how we evolve and become enlightened. It is why it is so important to get out from time to time. To take a break from the task at hand and just be somewhere else. Getting outside your comfort zone really helps, too. If you’re a creative type you may already know this, but it’s when I walk away from the struggle and the agony of writing or painting or what have you and do something entirely different, or nothing at all, that the great idea or concept I’d been looking for comes to mind. That light bulb moment! That light bulb needs the energy of others to turn on, I think.

I wear my “Perspective Lenses” almost 24/7, now. Only in moments of darkness or weakness do I remove them and betray myself. It is only when I forget my own power that I allow others to hurt me. The Earth, much like the sea, is so vast and full of creatures, I try not to limit myself to just the familiar ones now. I have seen far too much to hold myself back again. I will never again wear blinders or phone in my own life. I want to connect and exude and shine!

Has someone made you see things so differently that you could never go back? Has a random encounter with a would be stranger stuck with you? Has someone else made you see yourself differently? Tell me about it! 🙂


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2 Comments to


  1. On August 20th, 2012 at 12:30 pm Twistie Says:

    Too many times to count, dearie.

    Perspective can come from people, from events, even from random thoughts that come into your head. The great ones are those who heed those people, moments, and ideas. The universe works in mysterious ways.

    I love your story about the homeless guy. I hope he manages to finish his novel. Whether or not he does, though, I’m betting that was a moment of true human connection he rarely gets from anyone who isn’t also homeless or actively working with the homeless for some charity or other.

  2. On August 20th, 2012 at 3:53 pm Not Blue at All Says:

    Twistie: Oh, the homeless guy had finished his book, but only tape recorded it. He explained that he needed someone to type it up for him. I was tempted to offer, but this was right before starting my new job (back in January) and I hate to offer things I’m unsure I could follow through -on. But yes, I agree completely on the moment of connection. I know I was impacted. He seemed a tad surprised by my continued attention, I will say that much, but just as soon as we both entered the library and I turned around to smile and say goodbye he was already chatting up the security guy. Ha-ha! Doesn’t matter. It is a good memory for me.

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