When I’m feeling more completely me, I am more relaxed and carefree. When I’m feeling confident, I just enjoy life more. You know? I have a better time, even grocery shopping. I’m more open and generous and less quick to anger. I am more patient and my smiles come weather I want them to or not. Ha-ha! It’s true.

Confidence is awesome, but it’s not easy. That inner critic/ego/negative plant in your head loves to see you stumble and fail! The bastard! Oh, you never heard of a “negative plant?” Well, you know those old movies or TV shows where there’s a split screen of two people talking on the phone? They can’t see each other but the viewers can see both sides of the conversation? Well, imagine one side is your negative plant or inner critic. Dress it up any way you like, I like to picture either the plant from Little Shop of Horrors or the character Rodney Dangerfield played in Natural Born Killers (EW!). The other is your positive plant. This is the one that gets you psyched up for something big and awesome and can pat you on the back for a job well done. My positive plant looks like Bette Midler (or Cyndi Lauper, it changes) in all of her most colorful finery with open and loving arms.

So, anyway, one of the fabulous things I learned in my Ultimate Self Confidence class was this concept of the negative plant and how to acknowledge when you’re feeding that fucker and catching yourself in the moment and saying, “Stop.” calmly, but firmly. And then considering weather to continue feeding the bastard or to begin feeding my positive plant or if I can’t manage it yet, just tipping the watering can upright so neither gets water/attention. The truth is, that negative plant will never die, but you don’t have to give it fertilizer either. After that class, well, my positive plant got a big ole boost of miracle grow! Ha-ha!

Having that visualization, allowing myself to decide which to feed and when, and knowing in the moment that I can say, “Stop.” when I need to and move the hell on with my day have been so lovely! I feel more in control and more fully me! I feel freer and as though I can breathe easier. I am a bit more focused as I am not constantly tearing myself down. It’s nice, but it’s more than that. It’s knowing that the idiotic voice in my head, that we all have, doesn’t have to rule over me and my life anymore. I can choose! You can choose! It’s fucking awesome!

So the next time you’re not feeling your best or most authentic self, ask yourself which plant you’re feeding and which one you’d like to be feeding in that moment. You can dress up your plants any way you like. It’s fun! Let your imagination have a go of it and see what happens. Couldn’t hurt, anyway. Try it, take it for a spin, let me know what happens. I love this concept and hope that you will, too. 🙂