I'm just a fat gal with a blog and an opinion. Well, lots of opinions.

Lingerie Relics Vs. Just Being Sexy


I’m an avid eBayer and have been for, well, ages. It is my go-to for things I want/need but can’t pay full retail for. I have no problem buying used items most of the time and I was looking for some new lingerie on eBay and was somewhat surprised with what I found. While I understand that some find “foundation garments” to be necessary while others will recoil at their mention, I am not talking about Spanx here, peeps…Nope, I’m talking old school.

I saw everything from panty girdles and waist cinchers to full body shapers and panties with booty inserts. The full spectrum of body shame lay within these “foundations” and while my personal experience with them is limited, my view of them is that of body hate incarnate. I just can’t see it any other way. These contraptions are damaging to the body and the mind. Most of these things were new…with tags! these are no anciet relics, unearthed from bowels of grannies basements, no these are still manufactured TODAY! And all I gotta say is: WHAT THE HELL?!

I had in my mind an image of sexy lingerie for fatties. Satin and lace and frilly little numbers, peek-a-boo whatever and ruffly booty shorts. Those were there, don’t get me wrong, but what I couldn’t shake were the “longline” “full-body” and “power shapers”…Power? UGH!! Some of these things, I wouldn’t even know how to get into, let alone out of. Hooks, snaps, straps and all manner of man made materials, all in the name of “I must not appear fat!”

And can I just say that I never want to hear or see the word “Flattering” ever again?! It’s just fucking code for not fat!! I am over that shit like WHOA! I know we’re a rare and fabulous bunch to be so self accepting and to use and love the word FAT, but it makes it that much harder when faced with the old bullshit baggage of yore.  Also, it is perfectly fine and acceptable, in my opinion, to add touches of lingerie to your wardrobe…that you would wear out of the house! It is, it’s fine and it’s fun!

I think the point of trying to look sexy is to just own it! If you feel sexy, you will be, no matter what you are wearing. No one embodies this more than my gorgeous and lovely friend Virgie Tovar! She is sexy. She makes you feel sexy just talking to her. She pushed the envelope and the boundaries that say fat cannot be sexy. Fuck that shit! We can all be sexy, if we want to be. There is the bottom line, if you want to. If you don’t, no worries. Keep on keepin’ on! But if you do? Go for it! Be it!

I adore this article Virgie wrote for The Sex Positive Photo Project! It’s almost all text, but the ads are not safe for work, or the text for that matter. But I love how she sees fats as anarchists and revolutionaries. I know it took me a long time to see how things like Burlesque could be political and not just fun or sexual. Sexuality itself is political and my view of my own sexuality has absolutely evolved since becoming involved and in love with fat liberation/acceptance. Not once does she mention having to smooth or shape or cinch in order to fit an ideal. Because that is some heavy bullshit. I can be dead sexy without a thread on my body, why the hell buy some horrific contraption to appear as something you’re not? You don’t have to and you shouldn’t. Just be you! You’re fabulous!!!

13 Comments to

“Lingerie Relics Vs. Just Being Sexy”

  1. On October 12th, 2011 at 4:31 am Ashley Says:

    Great post! I agree that people should be able to feel sexy as they are, not only with all these body altering pieces. It’s almost false advertising, or it is false advertising.

  2. On October 12th, 2011 at 9:29 am Not Blue at All Says:

    Ashley: I guess if you consider your personal presentation as advertisement, then yes. I mean, if you’re on the prowl for a partner or new lover, sure, it can be advertising. I guess I’m just over that stuff all together. I’m me and if you/they don’t like it, so be it…ya know? Thanks so much.

  3. On October 12th, 2011 at 5:06 am Rose Says:

    I disagree. Well, I partially disagree. I do despise Spanx, and think that the majority of people who wear them are wearing them because they are unhappy with their bodies, and want to fit into the current beauty ideal. I don’t wear Spanx. However, I am an avid corset wearer. I view the corset and girdles the same way I view tattoos-as body modification. They are comfortable, provided they fit properly and one is used to wearing them. And one doesn’t wear them to fit into the current beauty ideal, because the vintage hourglass shape is no longer the beauty ideal. Most people who wear corsets or girdles wear them because they enjoy them, or as foundation garments under vintage clothing which really does not look right without the proper underpinnings.

    I understand what you are saying here, but I take umbrage at the idea that I am “damaging my body and mind” every time I put on a corset. So I think there are two distinct issues, and two distinct kinds of people, when talking about shapewear. Hope I expressed myself properly : )

  4. On October 12th, 2011 at 9:33 am Not Blue at All Says:

    Rose: Okay, I get you. Corsets are an entirely different matter in my opinion. Corsets are or can be fetishistic, kinky and fun and I love them. Wish I could find one I could afford that would fit my death fat, but I digress. I am more talking about the garments that smooth and cinch and all in the name of appearing “slim.” I was sort of surprised at how still very available and used they are today. But now you’ve got me wondering, body modification -love it- but have you specifically cinched your waist over time for achieve a look? What size are you? How much was your favorite corset? I’ll venture a guess of 300 bucks or so, right? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, if you prefer, you are welcome to email me directly:

  5. On October 12th, 2011 at 7:52 am MissusFahrenheit Says:

    You’ve got to watch this hilarious video about “shapewear” by the brilliant Charlotte Cooper ( and her girlfriend Kay. I laughed so hard I cried. Shapewear and its ilk are fucking heinous and the only way I’d subject my poor body to it is for a laugh. 🙂

  6. On October 12th, 2011 at 9:36 am Not Blue at All Says:

    MissusFahrenheit: Thank you. I hadn’t seen the video, but Love Charlotte Cooper. Watching it now. Woo

  7. On October 12th, 2011 at 12:55 pm Emerald Says:

    I get the corset-foundation distinction. I also love corsets – I’m just beginning to get into steampunk, which features corset-wearing in the fun, fantasy sense in a big way, but a lot of the pagans and/or roleplayers I know wear them, and I’ve seen them being rocked by plenty of ladies much bigger than me (I’m a UK 18). I’ve been thinking about splashing out on a bespoke one for a while now – they seem to be from £200-300 upwards here.

    But foundation garments…I decided I was having none of those when my mother tried to get me into a panty-girdle. It was 1980. I was twelve. And yes, it was one of those hideous pinchy elastic ‘flesh’ colored things. Ick.

  8. On October 12th, 2011 at 3:14 pm Not Blue at All Says:

    Emerald: Ooh! If/when you do, be sure to send me a pic! I won’t post it here -unless you actually want me to- but I’d love to see what you pick out. I love the aesthetic of steampunk, but haven’t actually put an outfit together or anything. I saw a fabulous steampunk corset at the other day, but outside of my possible price range. It was gorgeous though.

  9. On October 12th, 2011 at 8:03 pm Lady ATX Says:

    My friend Melissa has a disastrous history with any kind of shaping undergarment. We learned that whenever Melissa would look at us and say “Something doesn’t feel right”, we had to immediately head to the nearest bathroom. On one such occasion, we were seeing a play together. She was wearing a half slip under her dress. She got up, said the phrase, and as soon as we started walking to the restroom, the slip just fell down around her ankles. She just walked right out of the damn thing and pretended it never happened. She left the slip right on the ground. But the incident that really made her swear off such undergarments forever involved one of those shaping garments that is supposed to cover you from over the bust to mid thigh. Again, we were seeing a play, and as we were about to get up at intermission, she looked at us with big eyes and said “Something doesn’t feel right…and I can’t breathe.” We managed to get her into the restroom, where we realized that shaper had rolled down at the top and up from the bottom so that it formed a tight tube around her middle. And it would not budge!!! Two of us were in the bathroom stall with her trying to wrestle the damn thing to a point were she could breathe. And then we starting laughing. Hysterically. By this point, we had called enough attention to ourselves that we got the other twenty or so people in the restroom with us laughing too. It was kind of a great moment in female solidarity. We finally got the garment off her and threw it in the trash. As far as I know, she has never looked back.

    I’m not sure this story really has a point. But I hope it made you laugh. 🙂

  10. On October 13th, 2011 at 9:41 am Not Blue at All Says:

    Lady ATX: Oh man, that is a fantastic story! Yes, I laughed and even winced about the not being able to breathe. Those things are terrible. Stupidly and naively I bought into that bullshit just once, for my wedding. Ugh!!! It rolled up and down and gathered around my middle as well, though not nearly as hilarious. The moment we got to the reception, I kicked off my heels and shuffled to the ladies room, threw my dress over one shoulder and ripped the bastard off my person. I will never wear anything shaping or compressing again. Comfort or nothing! That is just how I roll now. Woo!

  11. On October 16th, 2011 at 12:11 am Kath Says:

    Grrrrrr… I hate “body shaping” garments with a passion. Fuck flattering indeed (my Gisela Ramirez crop top should arrive this week!)

  12. On October 17th, 2011 at 11:12 am Not Blue at All Says:

    Kath: Ooooh! I do hope you’ll be posting pictures!

  13. On October 20th, 2011 at 4:38 am Kath Says:

    Of course!

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