I'm just a fat gal with a blog and an opinion. Well, lots of opinions.

Fighting Hate With Big Fat Love


I think this week has left us all a bit raw or vulnerable feeling. It almost seems as though the entire nation is coming to a head over various topics of hate. Suddenly, hate is all popular for some reason. I’m wondering if that reason isn’t related directly to the election next week. I’m also considering the possibility that a lot of this is due to sheer frustration with our lives, economy and impotent government. So much hate spewed back and forth, criss-crossing all over the place. For what? What does it get you in the end? It certainly can’t help you sleep at night.

I have spent a lot of time thinking about this over the last two days. I have spent a lot of time in my head thinking about a lot of things. Yeah, I’m having one of those moments in time where I’m looking at my life as a whole. After a fabulous week last week and then a huge-ass downer of a b-day on Monday? Well, I’m pooped! Maybe I spend too much time in my head, maybe not enough. I don’t know.

I do know that I’m still here and willing to fight the good fat fight! It’s super hard, but I’m patient and stubborn. I’m not going anywhere. Because no matter who you are, what you look like or what you’re doing? Someone hates it! But more importantly, someone loves it and you!

I have been so impressed with my fellow FA bloggers this week. I am so grateful to have them in my life. They seriously know how to write some great and articulate backlash posts! I’m not so good with that. You see, I get mad and just start swearing up a storm until the words go away entirely. Ha! And where my head is at this week? I don’t need anyone telling me that I don’t deserve the life I have worked so very fucking hard to have let alone love or the movement of my own body. I don’t need hate in my life. At all.

I don’t want the world to see me as exclusively sexually attractive or not. I don’t want to be the example of someone’s morality diatribe. I don’t want to be seen as anything but me and my multi-faceted self. I want to be left the hell alone to do my living and breathing things. I don’t need lady magazines telling anyone that just by existing I am somehow wrong and representative of all things sinful and gross. Had I wanted the opinion of, well, anyone? I’d fucking ask!

I don’t believe in hate. My religion is truth and kindness. I do think that your actions come full circle back to you. I believe in equality for everyone and not just a select few. I’m not saying that we can hug and positive think our troubles away, not at all. What I am saying is that when someone comes from a place of great privilege, they need to check themselves before they (yep, I’m gonna say it) riggety-wreck themselves! And gee, you don’t wanna see fat people kissing? Well, too bad for you! Better close your eyes today, for tomorrow fat love shall rule! (Man, I wish I could be there).

The more we are publicly fat, I think, the more normal we will (one day) be seen. I think this hate spewing is done by just a select few, but loudly. So hey, time to crank up the volume on our side and let those who are fearful know that they are not alone, they are worthy and they should have every right to all things anyone else does. You can end the hate in your heart by loving and giving when and where you can.

How else can we fight against those who would have us killed simply for being fat?

5 Comments to

“Fighting Hate With Big Fat Love”

  1. On October 28th, 2010 at 4:03 pm Mulberry Says:

    I’m not quite as forgiving and full of love as others in the fatosphere seem to be. I don’t mind hating on some people, as long as they have done something to deserve it. Isn’t that what trolls are for? You can cuss ’em out guilt-free! I’m more of a golden rule person, figuring people treat me the way they would want to be treated, and I try to oblige.
    Yes, it does help me sleep at night. What’s more likely to keep me awake is the thought that I could have said something clever and a bit nasty, and missed the opportunity.
    YMMV. I’m not into vendettas, because they never end.

    “How else can we fight against those who would have us killed simply for being fat?”

    Indeed, I have wondered this myself. The tragic part is that some people feel this about themselves. We have to help end the rampant self-hate.
    I think we fat people, as a group, need to do something newsworthy, the kind of stuff that attracts reporters and photographers. We’ve started, but we need to do a lot more.
    We have to realize it’s better to die in the service of freedom than from having our stomachs butchered. Yes, I feel that strongly. I hope we don’t have to go that far, but we may have to.

  2. On October 29th, 2010 at 7:56 am Not Blue at All Says:

    I guess when you say, “as long as they have done something to deserve it” it scares me a little. It is a bit too close to the rhetoric fats get from fat haters, you know? I do see what you’re saying and agree on the more visibility front. For sure! And things are being planned for that, I can assure you of that. I am with you as well when you say that we have to put ourselves out there and be noticed and hopefully counted. Hopefully none will die for our cause, but certainly many have already. Self-hate is so difficult to grow out of, but I think when people see happy-healthy fats doing these positive things and fighting back against the hate? Well, just maybe a switch will flip and they’ll realize that we’re all worthy of self-acceptance, love, life, all of it! =0)
    Thank you for reading & commenting.

  3. On October 29th, 2010 at 8:21 am Amanda E Says:

    “I’m wondering if that reason isn’t related directly to the election next week.”
    Interesting point… I wonder what effect all the negativity and contentiousness in the media as the election approaches has on the rest of our lives and the mood of society at large. I shall have to mull further on this!

    As to your not being good at writing responses when you’re angry… maybe it’s all that being ‘in your head’ and taking time to think before responding, but I think you’re pretty darn articulate and on-target in this post. Give yourself a little credit. 😛

  4. On October 29th, 2010 at 8:36 am Not Blue at All Says:

    Aw, thank you! But I did have to give myself a day or two to even write this much. Ha!

  5. On October 29th, 2010 at 10:03 pm Mulberry Says:

    On reflection, NBAA, anger would be a better description, but still not quite right, since I can be angry at people I love, sometimes. However, I don’t mind hating on trolls, since I can express it and they truly don’t care; they even enjoy getting people riled up.
    “Dying for the cause” may sound like overblown rhetoric, but as you say, many have already died, from the efforts of trying to fit in, or at the hands of someone who couldn’t see past their fat. It would be nice if people would listen to reason, but they/we are far more swayed by emotion; it is human nature.

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