I'm just a fat gal with a blog and an opinion. Well, lots of opinions.

Deny Yourself Nothing (When Possible)


I just had the most gorgeous and lovely piece of chocolate (Ritter Sport Milk Chocolate with Butter Biscuit inside it, glorious!) and I am finally, FINALLY, satisfied. You see, lovelies, when I get hormonal before my lady-times (ha-ha! My period for the uninitiated), I want two things: Bread & Chocolate! This last cycle o’ mine I had bought a seemingly nice bar of fancy chocolate at Cost Plus World Market, but when I had a piece it was nothing like what I had imagined. It was less flavorful, there was no body to it’s texture and it left me wanting something else. While choosing this silly choco-bar, I eyed my beloved Ritter Sport, but the price was a bit high for a damned candy bar, so I left it in favor if the on-sale one. Boo! Since then all I wanted was a decent piece of fucking chocolate. And now? I’m satisfied!

I had intended to write a big post today about weight loss ads and their devious and disgusting ways, but this little piece of chocolate loving heaven left me in a better head space and why muck it up with negativity, ya know?

I am sick and tired of hearing or seeing people who clearly want one thing opt for another simply because it appears better/healthier/trendier/fancier/etc. FUCK ALL OF THAT! If you want a piece of Boston Cream Pie, well you won’t be satisfied by a tiny cup of yogurt flavored to taste like it. Just grab yourself some actual BCP and you may just find that you don’t need to eat the whole thing or maybe you do and then you won’t have that craving again. Denying yourself leads to obsession and poor choices or dangerous behaviors (I could have hurt someone had I not indulged in my little choco-fix).

This all goes along with self-care! Listen to your body signals and cues and it’s okay to question them, but don’t deny them! If you want full-fat milk, have a glass! If you want a coke, go for it! Don’t settle for non-fat or diet versions of the real thing if that’s what you want (not to mention the chemicals in these beasties-yeeesh!).

I hear this shit all of the time at my cafe, women (mostly, though there was that one MD, ha-ha!) will order something and then comment about what they really want! Yes, I encourage them to get what they want, but in the end I cannot force anyone to do anything. In my experience my desire for something only grows when I want it and don’t get it. Light freaking quality opaque tights in my size in gorgeously rich colors (and that I can afford, I know, a unicorn!). Ahem. I digress…

Whatever your heart or belly or tongue or brain or body, etc, wants, please do allow yourself that. You’re worth it. <3

11 Comments to

“Deny Yourself Nothing (When Possible)”

  1. On January 7th, 2011 at 4:07 pm Rachel Smith Says:

    Love this! So true. Glad you enjoyed your chocolate!

  2. On January 8th, 2011 at 9:44 am Not Blue at All Says:

    Thank you!

  3. On January 8th, 2011 at 4:38 am wriggles Says:

    I agree, deny yourself not a bit of self respect, belief, love, rapport, nothing. 🙂

  4. On January 8th, 2011 at 9:44 am Not Blue at All Says:

    Oooh, yes! More than just food and things, but love and respect! And honesty!!! Thank you for this!

  5. On January 8th, 2011 at 9:02 am Sweetnfat Says:

    I am ALL FOR not denying yourself. Indulgence tends to make me feel pretty happy, but I also find that when I give myself what I wanted (that comic book, that perfect dress on juuuust enough sale, effin’ Chinese food), I tend not to obsess and crave so much later on. With food, I can get difficult sometimes, though. Since I give myself what I want, I often get a “been there, done that, now what” attitude about it! *laughs* But I love knowing that if I want something, I can go get it. I’m an adult! I came this far to make these decisions for myself!
    Side note: Many of those “delicious” yogurt flavors are only offered in lowfat/no fat in stores up here. I don’t know if they come in full fat variety at all. But when I have them, it just tastes FAKE. It tastes like fake sugar and awful. Very disappointing. (I still love me some yogurt, though.)

  6. On January 8th, 2011 at 9:44 am Not Blue at All Says:

    See that is the thing though, when you stop denying yourself what you crave (with food) it becomes less of an issue overall, I think. And yes, the yogurty fakeness, it’s everywhere!

  7. On January 8th, 2011 at 10:04 am Patsy Nevins Says:

    Great post. I have been doing this for years. Right now I am trying to decide if MY need for chocolate at this moment is strong enough for me to get my CP & arthritis slowed legs out on some ice which is covered with a dusting of snow & go to the store. I may, or I may wait for tomorrow, when my son takes me to get groceries.

    I was thinking similar things the other day reading the latest in a series of cozy mysteries, the Cackleberry Club mysteries, about three middle-aged friends who open a cafe together. The books are pretty good & include recipes, & there are some tasty-sounding things, including some nice desserts. However, the author has decided that her customers need to be ‘nannied’ to some extent. They order bacon & eggs, & the bacon is turkey bacon (I love my bacon, tried turkey bacon once, & there is NO comparison, no way in real life that you could fool a bacon-lover). If they want burgers, they are served ground chicken or ground turkey burgers. If I am eating out & I want bacon or a burger & I am paying for it, I damn well want BACON or ground BEEF. I would have no problem with the idea of offering the chicken/turkey options for those who genuinely prefer them, but it says so much about the nannying culture in which we live & about how accepted those attitudes of ‘we have a right to tell others how to live’ are all around them that, in a work of FICTION, for god’s sake, someone must decree that people cannot eat bacon or ground beef. Eat what you want, you will indeed be satisfied as you cannot be by eating something ‘healthier’ or whatever alternative.

  8. On January 8th, 2011 at 10:53 am Not Blue at All Says:

    Yeah, there’s no tricking brain chemistry with turkey bacon, I know, I have tried! Ha-ha!

  9. On January 8th, 2011 at 10:39 am Rachel Says:

    Yes, exactly.

    I rememebr a time not to long ago when I was craving pizza. Now, Im gluten intolerant, so cannot just spontaneously order a pizza or run to the store and buy a box of Digornio. If I want pizza I have to drive 30 miles to the health food store for a box of frozen gf pizza at 12 bucks a pop, or buy 30 bucks worth of ingredients at the market and spend 90 minutes making a pizza.

    Well at this time, I was both broke and snowbound, so I scrounged up some gf pasta instead–no pepperoni and cheese, alas. But I ate it, and I ate it ALL, and I was still not satisified–I still felt hungry even though I was full.

    It took a week before I was able to get the ingredients for a pizza, and in that week all I could think about was getting that goddamned pizza. But once I made it, the dough the fresh veggies, the full-fat gooey mozzrella cheese—AHH LORD, I ate 3 slices and I was full for the rest of the weekend; I think I ate hard-boiled eggs and fruit the next day.

    Yes, ignoring your cravings is both stupid and a waste of effort. You’re better off just satisfying yourself in the first place.

  10. On January 8th, 2011 at 10:55 am Not Blue at All Says:

    Yes! No one I’ve ever met actually craves the healthy alternative to something. And you know, there could be a nutrient in whatever it is you’re craving that your body wants and knows it will get that way. Luckily the GF thing seems to be spreading in availability if not awareness. When my BFF found out about her intolerance it was so hard. There was nothing available at the time. Now? It’s so much better! We go to PF Chang’s (GF menu rocks) and Amicci’s Pizza (some locations have GF pizza dough) and we both love to bake and cook (she has a GF blog: and it gets better all of the time. The new Target by me has a ton of GF products. I was shocked but happy. Cheers to you, my dear!

  11. On February 12th, 2011 at 1:34 pm Gypsy Says:

    Life is to short to deny yourself anything!

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