I'm just a fat gal with a blog and an opinion. Well, lots of opinions.

Defending My Sexy Costume Choice


Halloween used to be my favorite holiday of the year. Still is I guess, in some ways. I love creepy and cool and spooky things. I love Halloween parties, no matter who is throwing them. I love dressing up. I love the unexpected. I love the crisp autumn air. I love the creativity that comes from this time of year. I love thinking up new costume ideas or finagling my own way to something recognizable, too. I don’t go too into the make up side of things, even on Halloween, but I enjoy what others do and I toy with it occasionally. I love that surprised look people give when they see who is under the mask, so to speak.

One year I dressed as a biker dude and my best friend didn’t even recognize me. I loved that. I had side burns and a mustache and a bandana on my head and a leather vest over a flannel. It was fabulous. My husband was a biker chick that year. He had boob made of water balloons filled with peach jello. They were awesome and delicious and much fun was had with those and that night in general. That may have been the night my BFF Jery and I had a lot of Cuervo Black and Pepsi…but I don’t really remember. Ha-ha!

Being faced with the inevitable, “What are you dressing up as?” question is always a struggle. What is fun? What is surprising? What is affordable? What is easy to throw together? How much time do I want to invest in this? UGH!!! So much to consider, right? It can be easy, I can always manage a decent Hippie costume. I’ve had a “Serial Mom” dress in my closet for a few years and have never worn it. I have the remnants of my lady Zorro costume in the closet, too. They all seem easy and doable and fine. But this year? This time?

This week was supposed to be awesome. I won’t lie, it has sucked pretty hard. Nothing I can do about that now. But tonight I am going to a costume themed night at Full Figure Entertainment’s Full Figured Friday event. I was going to be Lady Zorro again, but then I was like, “A mask and my glasses? What the hell?!” Finally last Saturday I was telling my husband how I wanted to be excited about dressing up. I wanted to be something fun or unexpected. He suggested I pull out my old “Naughty School Girl” costume. I had completely forgotten about it. And I was instantly excited!

You see, my friend Jeanette is going as a “Naughty Nun” and the school girl would be the perfect compliment to her costume. Also, I don’t have to buy anything but socks! I can handle that. And I suddenly exclaimed, “I can be sexy, too!!!” Because for some reason I hadn’t felt terribly sexy in a long while. And after the shit week I’ve had, well, I’m ready to be sexy on my own damn terms. I am sick of wanting/waiting for someone else to make me feel sexy, or wanted, or desired, or whatever. Fuck it!!! I am going to have fun tonight and if anyone has a problem with that they can kiss my giant ass!!!

I’m not dressing sexy for anyone else but me. I rarely wear anything remotely risque, except for the occasionally too-low cut top and even that is rarely intentional. I’m not out to gain male attention. I’m married and fine with that. I’m not looking to make anyone else feel bad or to objectify myself or anyone else. I just want to feel good and have fun and dance my pants off…oh wait! I won’t be wearing pants! WOOT!!! I’m not defending the abundance of sexy costumes or the societal pressure to dress that way. I support each individual’s right to choose whatever the hell they want. For me, this year? I just want to feel and look sexy in my own eyes!

I can’t promise pictures, but I will do what I can. ha-ha! Hope you have a fun and fabulous weekend on your terms, too.


16 Comments to

“Defending My Sexy Costume Choice”

  1. On October 28th, 2011 at 8:56 am Patsy Nevins Says:

    I admit to not liking the sexualization of Halloween. I LOVE HALLOWEEN, have the house decorated by September, but as a teetotaling, non-partying mother/grandmother who never had a real childhood, my love is for the Halloween of childhood..haunted house, spooky/scary/but cute costumes, lots of candy, Halloween books, Halloween cartoons on tv, walking around the neighborhoods to see who has decorated & what they did, going out trick-or-treating with first my sons, now my granddaughter. My idea of a Halloween party is one that has a ‘G’ rating. I like a clean, safe, fun Halloween. And my own preferred characterization is usually a witch.

    I wish everyone a safe & happy weekend. Happy Halloween.

  2. On October 28th, 2011 at 9:15 am Not Blue at All Says:

    Patsy Nevins: Oh that’s lovely, I love that stuff too. I have been impressed with the decorated houses in my neighborhood. Sure makes walking the dog a bit more fun. ha

  3. On October 28th, 2011 at 1:24 pm Twistie Says:

    I think the biggest problem most people have with sexy halloween costumes (unless they object simply because they don’t think anyone should be publicly sexy ever) is the dearth of non-sexy options most adults are presented with. Most commercially produced costumes for adult women are all about showing off the cleavage and the gams. I agree that more options should be readily available. Little Red Riding Hood doesn’t always have to be a sexpot version… but that doesn’t mean she can’t ever be!

    If sexy schoolgirl is what’s floating your boat this year, freaking go with it and have a blast!

    Your biker costume sounds all kinds of awesome.

  4. On October 28th, 2011 at 2:06 pm Not Blue at All Says:

    Twistie: Yes, I agree. The non-sexy options have gone away. But I must admit that I’ve never purchased a costume. I have purchased props and accessories, but never a costume. I’ve always been a homemade costumer, by necessity. But now? I couldn’t buy anything if I want to, unless it was custom. I enjoy throwing things together from home things. I know not everyone does. And you’re right that we should be able to just choose what we want and rock it on our own terms. Going to see if a friend of mine will scan some pics of my old costumes for my Monday post. I’ll see if I have one of my biker costume. <3

  5. On October 28th, 2011 at 2:34 pm Nicole Says:

    My feelings are summed up pretty well by Twistie. It is all about having a choice.

    I’m sure you will rock the hell out of your sexy schoolgirl costume tonight! I can’t wait!

  6. On October 28th, 2011 at 2:39 pm Not Blue at All Says:

    Nicole: Choice IS everything!!

  7. On October 28th, 2011 at 8:14 pm Bree Says:

    I’m going as a hippie. Not the bellbottoms and fringe hippie, but the peasant skirt and top hippie with huge peace sign earrings and lots of beads. When I dress up, I do it for comfort because I sweat easily.

    There aren’t a lot of store-bought options for us, especially if you’re bigger, and usually sexy store-bought plus-size costumes are in the pirate/serving wench/fairy/witch range. Twistie is right, there is a serious lack of less sexy costumes for us ladies, probably because the sexy versions of cops, nurses, secretaries, referees, schoolgirls, etc. sell well and you can wear them other times besides Halloween. >:-D But it would be nice to see a little more creativity—and that also includes mens’ costumes that aren’t about being a smartass or a sex-obsessed jerk.

  8. On October 30th, 2011 at 11:02 am Not Blue at All Says:

    Bree: You reminded me of the fact that these “sexy” type of costumes, nurses and maids and what not, used to be more fetishy and not something you’d typically wear to a costume party. Very interesting. Now I’m wondering at what point did this become suddenly okay or was it more a matter of gradual increase in visibility of flesh in our society? Hmm…thank you.

  9. On October 28th, 2011 at 9:33 pm thirtiesgirl Says:

    I think Halloween is all about fun, and if feeling sexy in a fun costume is what’s working for you, I say go for it. I agree with what Twistie said, too. Part of my issue with sexy Halloween costumes is the fact that it’s almost all you see when you look for adult women’s costumes online (both straight size and plus). But I’ve worn my share of sexy Halloween costumes in the past, and probably will again. Most of the time I’ve worn them, it’s been just for me, to see how sexy/vampy/naughty I could look and have fun with it. I think my favorite sexy costume was a red devil costume I bought many years ago. It came with a very vampy, low cut dress with big sleeves and a fish-tail hem at the bottom. I added a pair of light-up devil horns and strapped myself into a push-up bra to give me extra cleavage. I even added a fake dragon tattoo, visible on my left boob, just for fun. Obviously, the costume wasn’t going to scare anyone, aside from fatphobic folks who don’t like seeing a fat gal look sexy in a red devil costume. But it was fun to wear, get comments on my light-up horns and tattoo, joke about it and just have fun.

  10. On October 30th, 2011 at 11:05 am Not Blue at All Says:

    thirtiesgirl: Having fun is the point and the key. You’re so right about that. Your devil costume sounds fab, honestly. I don’t usually do sexy versions of things, but I’d worn the naughty school girl costume before and so had it handy. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

  11. On October 29th, 2011 at 9:53 am Patsy Nevins Says:

    I do like the sound of your biker costume. I have never ridden a motorcycle, cannot even balance a bike, but I do feel the appeal of bikers (the ones who are not into killing each other or dealing drugs, that is) & realize that most bikers are just good folks who like riding a motorcycle. I loved the Two Fat Ladies on the bike with the sidecar. I would love to see a photo of your biker costume. And, yes, people should be able to dress however they wish. I, like Twistie, just wish that there were more options for women of ALL sizes, not just fat women, which were not all about being sexy, seeming to be sexually available to men & asking for male approval. Even though the clothes are aimed at women half my age or less, I do have several pairs of jeans & a couple hoodies from Torrid; every year, I notice that, yet again, their Halloween costumes are all about being sexy. That is just not me, it isn’t a lot of people.

  12. On October 30th, 2011 at 11:08 am Not Blue at All Says:

    Patsy Nevins: I have also never ridden a motorcycle, nor even sat upon one’s saddle. But I have been to a biker run/convention and got my belly button pierced there because I was only 16. Ha-ha. But you know, I say a gal in a hoodie and hat last night and it was the best Where’s Waldo costume ever and she looked so comfortable. I think I’ll be leaning in that direction for awhile, too. Comfort is always key with me. While my naughty school girl out fit wasn’t very uncomfortable, the extra layers of clothes while dancing proved not so great.

  13. On October 29th, 2011 at 10:38 am Amanda Says:

    I think it is stupid to even have to defend a costume. I’m happy you rocked your sexy school girl outfit. Even more happy that you did it for yourself, although I’m not surprised by that. =0)

  14. On October 30th, 2011 at 6:33 pm E. Ai B. Says:

    I cut and sewed my own top for an anime convention and halloween this year…I sort of put the entire outfit together myself (it’s a year-round thing almost) and I enjoy piecing stuff together, store-bought stuff included, to do something nobody is familiar with.
    I love sexy costumes. The ones for my size are WAAY too pricey, but I love them. It’s a defiance thing, most of us can’t dress that way everyday (even if we’d like to) so it is fun to do it once a year 🙂 Can we do a collection of links or a barrage of photos to see all of our larger lovely costumes? I love seeing what everyone put together.

  15. On November 3rd, 2011 at 2:09 am Kath Says:

    I don’t think the objection to sexy costumes is really about individual people like yourself choosing to wear those costumes, but in the fact that there are so few choices for women that AREN’T sexy, particularly in costumes to buy or rent. And the fact that men are not expected to don sexy costumes at all, but for women they’ve become the standard.

    Individual choice is great (well, except in the case of racist, bigoted or culturally appropriative costumes) – but when the options are so skewed towards objectifying women while giving superiority to men, there needs to be some questions asked as to why this is the predominant view of women for Halloween, you know?

  16. On November 3rd, 2011 at 10:02 am Not Blue at All Says:

    Kath: You’re absolutely right. It’s about having a variety of choices and not just one. I get it. I felt a bit uneasy when considering what to wear for a costume, especially when I decided on the school girl…such a cliche` and all. Thank you for your thoughts, always.

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