I'm just a fat gal with a blog and an opinion. Well, lots of opinions.

“Everyone Says Good Good Eat!”


And now for something completely different…

So last week for work I got to go to the Fancy Food Show in San Francisco! It’s a little hard to describe, but let’s see what I can manager here:

Picture a giant arena, but rather than a stage and endless seating, think exhibition booths…for food! Like all the kinds of food! It’s colorful and magical and aromatic and wondrous! Everyone is having a good time, everyone is chatting and mingling…it’s like a giant party for snacks! Well, more than snacks, I mean just everything! It’s not all sweets, so it’s not like Wonka’s pad, but that vibe for sure! I was there representing HappyGoat Caramel and giving everyone samples. I probably talked to a thousand people.

I wasn’t feeling my best the first day of the show, but the last day I felt great. I took a lunch break and just walked around the international section…completely blissed-out! Like, seriously? I still have a smile on my face! I had a bit of this and a cup of that and a taste of delicate little those and it was all so lovely! I felt like a friggin’ princess! Forgive me, but it’s true! I felt fabulous, like a dream! The Moscato sample really helped (my fave)! Then ravioli fresh out of the skillet with spinach and ricotta filling and freshly shaves Parmesan…served by a lovely and smiling Italian man! I mean? What the fuck more could you want out of life?! Ha-ha!

Actually, people watching was the most fun for me. It’s like shopping because so many people and so many styles and styling, but also, I am in a head space where nearly everyone is majorly attractive to my eyes! It’s nice, believe me! Ha-ha! I felt like I was getting paid to flirt and offer people candy! Technically that is pretty much it, but it sounds so salacious! Ha-ha! I love it! I can handle salacious! Anyhoo, food! I didn’t even try that much stuff, honestly. It was a feast for the eyes as much as anything else. Just amazing!

The best part was watching people’s faces as they tried our caramels and sauces. They’d come up to the booth with their poker face and turn dreamy and childlike. It’s like you’re watching them frolic in their happy place in their heads! To make someone feel that simple joy? It’s a special moment, y’all, truly! I enjoyed chatting and flirting and laughing and having a great time with them all. Food is such a memory inducer and bonder (is that a word?) of people. You know what they’re tasting and understand what they must be feeling…even when they get all “notey” about stuff (like wine talk with the notes of this and the nose of that) I love it! They geek out and I smile and soak it up!

The title of this post is from a Taiwanese snack company. It’s the slogan on their fruit flavored soft candy packs. It has this cute little girl on it. Like this one, only in pink with strawberries and stuff:

Anyway, it was a lot of work and a lot of fun. The city was blustery and cold and I couldn’t wait to get out of their after the long days. Everyone loved our products and it was a blast to see so much cool stuff and people, too! What an experience?!

Open To Possibilities: Part Two


Okay, you know how I said all of that stuff about being open to possibilities? Well, you should also try a bunch of new stuff, too! Because…I mean…Ohmigawd!!! I just had the most amazing meal!!! This is going to sound so silly, but being around other foodies is awesome! And these people are real foodies! We had a dinner meeting at work, only we went to a restaurant for dinner, and it was possibly the best meal I’ve ever had. At the very least, it was the most adventurous.

I grew up with very bland food. Lots of meat and potatoes and rice and frozen vegetables. We were poor, it’s just what you do, no big. It wasn’t until I met my husband that I’d even had real Mexican food let alone Indian food. So my palate developed and evolved and changed over the years. I enjoy the food network and cooking channel (though cooking channel wins in my book). Food has become more than a thing I use as fuel for my brain and body. It’s become an interest and a passion. Owning the cafe certainly fanned my foodie flames when I had to come up with my own panini recipes. I got into it for awhile, but with the stress and all I soon lost my appetite and passion for food.

As I put time and distance between myself and the cafe, after it sold, I slowly regained my interest and perhaps now my passion! I started watching some fave shows again and cooking again and baking. Slowly but surely my desire to try new things came back, tough slowly. But I must say, after tonight? Wow! I mean…I’ve been watching Iron Chef (Japan) for years and years and have only seen these things on tv. Now? Those amazing things are in my belly!!!

The restaurant was called Prospect and I can’t even remember everything I tried tonight! Here’s what I do recall having: Fois gras on persimmon toast, sweet breads with some savory sauce and frieze`, some kind of amazing Italian cheese stuff that starts with a B, and the best duck to ever hit my tongue, Meyer lemon creme` brulee`, a rather nice pinot noir (from Oregon, 2007)…OMIGAWD!!! I think I have a food hangover! Is that a thing? Ha-ha! I came home nearly hopping up and down, only I was a bit sheepish because I knew how much my husband would have wanted to try these things. But I did gush about it, I won’t lie!

It was a mind blowing, life altering experience and I haven’t even mentioned these incredible people I’m working with!!! They were so nice and awesome and I was so full but had mentioned wanting to come back to try the creme` brulee` and they insisted we all share it so I could have my favorite thing! I mean…the nicest fucking people, y’all! Mind you, this was only my second day! It’s all so fantastic and I am really enjoying myself. I don’t know where this job will lead me, but it’s already broadened my horizons and made me try things I would normally be too scared to!

I am staying open to any damned thing! This has been such an amazing week! I mean…from NYE on, baby! Revoloosh!!! Ha-ha! I am serious though, I want to push myself out of my comfort zone because that is where the good shit happens!

You And Me And NYE!


How are you? No really, how are you feeling right now? I’m feeling pretty damned good, I must say. This past week has given me time to reflect and appreciate what I have and those I love. I haven’t done much, physically, but only because my left knee has been completely fucked…certainly not because I was lacking in spirit. These last few days hanging out with my husband and our puggyman and our tabby-cat and our BFFs and just all of it. The wine and food and laughs and games and fun and silliness! You know what? That is the spice of life, silliness! To be so at ease with yourself and whomever you are in proximity to just let go and be silly? That is the raddest thing of all!

Tomorrow night my friend Jeanette and I are hitting up a local BBW club for their NYE party. I’m so excited! I’m so nervous! That is so weird, I don’t really get nervous anymore. But it feels a bit like prom or something. I’ve never gone out on NYE. Well, okay, to friends’ houses or whatever, but never dressed up and never to a big fab party! We both bought dresses for it and are talking about up-dos and sparkly shoes and it’s so fun! I feel girly! I don’t often get to engage this side of me so it feels strange and adventurous! I will no doubt have many pictures to share, but more importantly, the experience itself. I know so many aren’t able or aren’t confident enough to do things like this. But this is why I do it!

I do it to show that you can even be a death fatty like me and have a great NYE or dress up and go out dancing or anything your heart desires! I do it to normalize fatness. I do it to feel fucking awesome! I do it to push back against the haters that would have us all hidden away or worse! When I try a new style of fashion that I’ve never seen on a fat person, I am pushing boundaries for myself and others. I love that! When I am unafraid and unapologetic about myself and my size? I am throwing a big middle finger to anyone who thinks that I should just shut up and conform!

That is punk rock, baby! And PUNK WILL NEVER DIET!!!

I hope that you have a safe and fun NYE no matter what you do. I hope that you will refuse to engage in the self-hating ritual of resolutions and consider ReVolutions instead! Check out some resources at that link or :

I do think that even small acts can create a ripple effect and together we can make a big fatty wave of positive goodness! I hope 2012 treats us all much better than 2011 did. I for one am glad it’s over and done with. I am hopeful for the coming year and it’s endless possibilities and opportunities. Here’s to you and yours! Aand Cheers to all on Earth!

OOTD: Green


While my husband and I didn’t celebrate x-mas yesterday, we did have our nearest and dearest over for a lovely potluck Sunday dinner. It was grand! It felt decadent in the least possibly sinful sort of way. I mean, everything was made with such love and care and was delicious. We drank, we talked, we listened to music and played a party game. It felt like this is the reason to be around this planet. It felt like connecting with people was truly the purpose of life. But I spent a lot of time drinking last night, so don’t worry, not trying to get too mystical on ya! Ha-ha!

I won’t lie though, I did feel like something was missing or amiss. What can I say? I feel left out of all of the good parts of this time of year because I refuse to participate in the bad. Ignorance is truly bliss, I guess. I used to get really caught up in the spirit of it all, especially as a teen, though I’m not sure why. That magic has been lost to me now. But getting to hang out with my friends is such a special treat that I’d feel like an ass not to be mega-grateful!

Here it is the next morning and all I can think about is when we get to hang out again, which is this Thursday! Ha-ha! We will be having our third annual “Donut-Pajama-Video Game Day!” You can guess the point of this time honored tradition. Though any excuse to hang out in ones bed clothes other than illness is always a good one in my book. And I’ll be starting my new job on Monday. Wow!

So, regardless of the “day” and all, I wanted to wear green for some reason…so I did:



I don’t know much about the outfit. The dress was from Nicole, the top was Target from ages ago…The lip gloss I’m in love with though!  It’s NYC Liquid Lip Shine in Midtown Mulbury and it smells like fucking vanilla cupcakes! And the color is perfection! Damn I love cheapy cosmetics! Though if anyone can recommend a GOOD eyeliner, do let me know. I keep trying new ones and they suck.

Anyway, I hope you had a lovely weekend and if you’re still off work, do enjoy your time off and do something extra special for yourself. Thanks.

Stay True To You


“I shall allow no man to belittle my soul by making me hate him.”  ~Booker T. Washington


I saw the above quote on yesterday and it got me thinking very specifically about what “this time of year” brings out in people. Suddenly simply eating a regular meal becomes a teachable moment weather you like it or not. Holiday meals are now a spectator sport. Everyone must tell you or anyone within earshot how they simply “can’t indulge or I’ll be on the treadmill for the rest of my life!” And everyone has something to say about somebody else. Ugh!

First, fuck gossiping about people. Period. Second, since when what you or I do with our respective bodies is it anyone else’s business or concern?! End it immediately. Diet talk? BORING! Change the subject! Depending on the situation, be blatant about it! “So, how about those Lakers?!” When everyone knows I don’t care about sports…you get my drift?

You are under no obligation or social contract to listen to or deal with this stuff. You have every right in the world to say, “Excuse me but your topic of conversation is ____.” That blank? Boring, offensive, making me uncomfortable, wrong, over-sharing…whatever it is you are thinking or feeling. You’re thoughts and emotions are valid! Don’t let anyone try to insist otherwise. Because sadly, they probably will.

If you haven’t managed to avoid the holiday advertising you may want to brace yourself for the coming onslaught of resolution ads. I do think that those are the worst ones of all! Those and the “bikini body” bullshit ones. When someone asks what your resolution is, why not tell them it’s no longer dealing with nosy assholes? Ha-ha! Instead of resolutions, why not offer positive revolutions?! Celebrate all things YOU! Why the fuck not?! I mean, even when times are tough, and I know that they are, you gotta simplify and just do You!

But let’s all agree to not let these fuckers get to us. We won’t sink to their body judging levels. We will not feel shame or guilt for simply eating a damn meal! Food is not our enemy, it can just stay theirs. We will not engage in body talk of any kind, even what would be deemed “positive.” Do not comment or even acknowledge weather or not someone has lost weight. Don’t let the bastards get you down, no matter what. They will try and they will test you, but you are strong and amazing and you can do whatever you want! Hating someone allows them to get the better of you. Why waste energy on such a person? By remaining calm and cool and shrugging off their hate, ignorance and cowardice will only serve to show that you are the better/more positive person.

If you need support, we are all here for you. I am here for you. You matter. You are worthy. You are loved. You are a multifaceted individual. You know what is best for you. Trust yourself and your body. Listen to your heart and don’t second guess your gut/intuition. Stay safe. Stay true to you. Don’t take crap from anyone. Love yourself just as you are right NOW.

I’ll leave you with my fave quote of all time:

“Kind words can be short and easy to speak but their echoes are truly endless.” Mother Theresa

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