There is so much awesomeness going around right now that I thought I’d share some of my faves with you! Woo!

First off, can I just say how much I fucking love LOVE! love Virgie Tovar?! She is amazing and incredible and is doing a video series, “Virgie Tovar’s Guide to Fat Girl Living” and they are flabulous!!! Here’s episode one to whet your appetite (believe me, you won’t be able to stop!):

Dr.Pattie Thomas & PDA Nation want to hear Your Story (and for more resources, links, etc http://revolutionsresources.blogspot.com/):

Please consider submitting your own story through video or text (you can comment on the videos on YouTube).

Amanda Levitt of FatWaitress & Love Your Body Detroit just opened a fabulous fat positive Etsy shop to raise funds for more fat activism: http://www.etsy.com/shop/LYBDetroit
Do check it out, buy something for yourself (like the fat rights tool kit!!! OMZ!!!)

And a bit of not so greatness, but I hope we can have an impact before it comes out…I first heard about this from Marilyn Wann and wanted to share it with you: Please go to the Amazon pages (US and UK) and post a comment responding to the godawful children’s book, “Maggie Goes on a Diet.”
I was personally shocked that the story itself is about a 14 year old going on a diet, but the targeted age for readers is 4-8 years old. Yikes!!! I hope that you will read the discussion and consider adding your own voice! <3

I have so much to be grateful for and I am a firm believer in expressing that gratitude and practicing doing so often. So, here goes! Feel free to add your own in comments! It’s fun! <3

I am grateful for:

• my husband and his support in all the stuff I get into
• my chosen family for their love and understanding and support
• Fat Liberation/Acceptance for just about every positive thing in my life
• having access to reliable transportation
• my health!
• opportunities
• time
• the internet
• the ability to take care of myself
• meeting online friends in real life
• believing in myself when just two years ago I would have given up!
• the readers of this here blog-a-ma-thing! <3

Seriously, you are the best! I love the discussions that happen and the advice that gets exchanged…it’s so special, y’all! =0)

(There will be quite a delay in approval of comments as I will be in a car for the better part of the day. Thank you for your patience.)

I have found myself becoming more and more political lately. It began when I attended the Queer.Fat.Political. event at the GLTB History museum in San Francisco on July 24th. It was such an amazing feeling to be in the same room as these incredible women who have been fighting the good fat (and feminist) fight all of these years (some more than 30 years!!!). I don’t think anyone could walk out of that place that night unmoved. And I wasn’t simply moved, I was inspired, and I was changed!

Since that evening I have only used the term Fat Acceptance once, in a comment on another blog (but do call me out if I’m wrong). I now prefer and completely embrace and identify with Fat Liberation! I think it points more succinctly and directly to the fact that the fat are marginalized and oppressed. I don’t feel that Fat Acceptance carries the same weight (no pun) as Fat Liberation. It feels better on my tongue and I feel more radical for using it! I also think it’s important to use it in this way as more and more deny the oppression of fat people and even some previously self-accepting/fat-accepting people are now calling themselves all of those old euphemisms: fluffy, chubby, big-boned, etc. *HeadDesk*

For me, one of the most important and powerful steps on my own acceptance/liberation journey was simply taking back the word Fat! I use it every damned day! I have to! I enjoy it! It is such a fabulously simple word, with so much POWER!!! Take that power back for yourself if you can. Get a Fat Necklace and watch as the world stops, stunned in your presence (and shouldn’t they be already?!). Perhaps you don’t feel you need liberating. Maybe you feel acceptance is more of what you’re looking for. That’s totally cool! I’m not saying that there is one way or the highway. For me I just feel more empowered when I think of liberation.

I am not looking for anyone’s approval. I’m not interested in appearing “acceptable” (to whom?).  I AM looking to gain full equality for everyone. I am! I believe that everyone is equal and it’s our society and government and corporations that interfere with that and fuck with our minds and make us believe lies year after year after year. And I’m through with that shit, ya know? And while I still haven’t found the words to approach my mother in law about her big butt comments (not about me, but our niece) I did manage to squeeze in a bit of history regarding women and shaving their body hair. She was only slightly surprised and possibly less interested than I had hoped. Ha-ha! Oh well.

I just hate to think that one day this fat acceptance/liberation thing will disappear. Like a wisp of so much smoke. That over time it will become less and less in numbers, that would soon disband (so to speak) and stop accepting ourselves, fighting for the liberation of fats and even stop using the word fat as a descriptor. I can’t accept that as a future possibility! I CAN’T! It hurts too much to even consider. But I see cracks, I see trouble and I just think that we need to support each other and keep in touch with each other more often and stick together more tightly to keep this movement going! I could be the only one feeling this urgency, but I feel it and I refuse to ignore it.

It’s hard to be publicly fat. I know! But what is harder for me would be to go back to how things were. To hating myself, trying to conform (Ugh! Conformity?! No Thanks!) and getting back on the dieting train? Blegh!!! NO! As much as I feel that my very existence is constantly questioned, I know that that is not how I want to live again. I know that for me to be happy and healthy and productive and my truest self I have to keep fighting the good fat liberation (and feminist) fight! I feel it is a duty, an honor and a privilege to have this path at my feet and I do fully intend to follow it.

Hey! I didn’t receive any submissions for Tank Top Tuesday this week and I spaced on even attempting to take one of me, so, let’s just vent our shit out in comments! I know the last two weeks have been crazy-busy for most or at the very least stress inducing. Why not get some things off your chest?! Please feel free to engage in discussion in comments, too! I love when that happens. We have so much in common, you just don’t even know! Okay? Cool! Vent away!!!

Also, feel free to continue to use to comments section for your TMI questions and stories! Woo!

And please consider submitting a photo for next week’s Tank Top Tuesday. You can email them here: notblueatall@notblueatall.com Please include the name you’d like used, any blogs/sites you’d like to plug and what you think/feel about baring your arms!

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I’ll go first!

So, it’s been a week since I sold my cafe. It feels very strange to not have that weighty burden on my shoulders. I keep expecting something bad to occur because of it. I want to fully enjoy myself and this time I have with my husband, his mom and our niece, but his mom (and subsequently now our niece) won’t stop with the big butt and bubble butt comments even after my husband explained that it could be damaging to our niece. *HeadDesk* Then at dinner last night she was describing someone she works with, “Well, she has a huge butt, but that’s the only thing wrong with her…” UGH!!!WHAT?! REallY?! I don’t understand her incessant comments about her own body, food, calories, the word “fattening”, etc…when she turns around and orders things I couldn’t imagine eating (fried mostly, make me ill if I eat it). She is constantly trying to feed us snacks and “Life” waters and garbage. There is no way she eats like this at home, right?! Is she just vacation eating? Is she nuts? I am beginning to believe that by the time she and our niece leave, my husband and I will be cured of our indecision to have a child. Ha-ha! This has been a vent. Thanks.

It seems summer has finally decided to stick around awhile in our area and great timing, too! My MIL (mother in law) and niece are in town and she (niece) is obsessed with swimming! We have gone swimming all but one day over the last 8 (I sat out a day)! It is incredibly fun, great exercise, fun playtime and generally relaxing. This is movement I enjoy completely. I feel more mindful of my body, more connected. I love to float around for about 5-10 minutes before we get out of the pool. I love to float, period!

Saturday when the subject of going swimming inevitably came up, I was hesitant because it sounded like a ton of people were down there. So my MIL and Niece went down awhile before us and quickly came  back up to tell us that the pool was empty. Woo hoo! So we got ready after a few quick Mario Kart races (we’re trying to unlock everything, it’s a fantastic if not highly addictive game) and by the time we got down to the pool it really was full of people! People of all colors and ages and shapes…and that was pretty dang cool, y’all!

The best part of it though, was when I decided to just jump into the pool. I stepped up to the edge, looked around, readied my fingers (to dive) and just dove for it! I decided that I would leave any weird self conscious feelings on the edge of the pool and just enjoy myself. And I did just that! I mean, it sounds mega-simple, and maybe it is, but I visualized sort of a see-through slippery skin that I could peel off and leave by the edge of the pool. Does that sound weird? Ha-ha!

I had a blast! Though there were many very little ones running around the edges of the pool seemingly unsupervised (gave me terrible anxiety for awhile) we did, in the end, have the pool to ourselves. Which is how it’s been for us all week. It’s a glamorous feeling to have an entire heated and good sized pool to just you and some family. The only bummer of course is sunscreen. I bought a spray can of  SPF100+ the first day we went swimming and it only lasted a few days. Tried my nieces SPF 30 (or was it 50?) and got sunburned. Boo! So we went back to the store and bought a bottle of the lotion-y SPF100+ and my husband lovingly called me a “water baby” (the brand of the sunscreen I bought).This stuff smells better, feels better and I think works better. The spray stuff felt like lacquer! Blegh!

I made a bit of a silly comment to my husband last night about being 30 and just accepting your body as it is. I meant it in a positive way, but he quickly insisted that anyone can change their body and blah blah swimming blah blah blah. I know! I know! I wasn’t thinking…I was just trying to encourage some self-acceptance in him, but phrased it wrong and wsertgyhuijmok! So then he says if we swam everyday for a month we’d literally see the results in our bodies. He still wants to put on weight and be more toned, but when he weighed more he thought he was too heavy?! I just want him to love and accept himself. He encourages me to do so, ya know?! Ack! I know I walked right into that one, but it caught me off guard completely. I enjoy swimming, but I don’t like doing something everyday for the sake of it. If it stops being fun I will stop or even resent it. I don’t wanna do that to swimming when I’ve just re-discovered it’s fun! So that ain’t happening. But I am considering a less bulky/modest swim suit sometime soon, if I can find one.

How was your weekend? Anything fabulous happen? *Hugs* Rock on!

Also, anyone want to submit a photo for tomorrow’s Tank Top Tuesday post? notblueatall@notblueatall.com