Hey everyone! How are you? How was your weekend? I had a bit of a long one. Whew! Can’t believe it’s only Tuesday actually, but I’m feeling good.

Today’s Tank Top Tuesday submission comes from yours truly! I hadn’t received a submission from a reader in awhile and the last couple were from my very generous friends. So I wanted to jump back into the fray with you all, sleeveless and proud! Okay, no, that’s not entirely true. By the time this picture was taken I was proud, but most of the evening I felt terribly self conscious. I even grabbed a matching cardigan “in case I got cold” which is ridiculous as it was very hot that day. We had some friends over for dinner and I wanted to look cute, but…Nicole gave me this dress. Isn’t it lovely? I adore it! It’s not something I would ever buy for myself, but would fawn over in it the store only to walk away from it. Isn’t it strange how I was fine being sleeveless several different days last week (more tops from Nicole! Thank you gurl!!!) yet this dress put me right on edge?! My husband was very kind and encouraging, even when I threatened to change about four times. I think that’s the key though, to getting over this hump? Repetition! Because I was fine in the sleeveless tops I wore that week, but the dress? Why did it freak me out so? By the end of the night I couldn’t have cared less about my damned arms, but at the start I was beside myself with “OMZ! They will see my armz!”  And I am so sick of that! Why should I have to worry about how my bare arms make someone else feel? I’m done!

Okay, and then I see pics of myself like this and I think, “Wow! I look younger than I feel! Ha-ha!” Just sayin’! The dress is from Old Navy, but no clue as to when she bought it. It’s a 4x and is roomy up top, I may take it in a tad so it won’t pook out on the sides as much. but I love the colors! The accent looks red, but it’s a coral color trim. Lovely!

I am taking submissions from anyone who wants to exercise their right to Bare Arms for future Tank Top Tuesday posts! Email your pics here: notblueatall@notblueatall.com, please include the name you’d like in the post, a blog or etsy shop you wanna plug, your thoughts on bare arms or other fatty philosophies. It does not have to be in a tank top, so long as your arms are bare. Have fun with it!

Also, feel free to still treat comments as TMI topic/discussion/venting area! Feel free to ask TMI questions or just vent/rant about your own stuff. I love it! We all do! =0)

**Friend of the blog Erylin, has a clothing swap coming up in Kansas city mo. we will be having one on September 25th at the north Kansas city library right off of armour and I-35. (if you need more info leave a reply and we will connect you somehow). **

Sorry, that’s a lyric from Lykke Li’s “Get Some” and one of my most recent fave songs. But this post is about my arms. My big, fat, juicy, wobbly, strong, embracing, hugging, juggling, pale, freckled, occasionally sunburned or peeling from one, ARMS! While driving the other day, I was sitting at a stop light and felt the sun on my arm. I stroked my left arm from top to bottom and back again, unconsciously, to soothe the heat of the sun from it. This is when I looked down and it felt like I was looking at another person’s arm! It looked dry and sad and had lost it’s previously recognizable elasticity. *Whimper*

I vowed then and there that I would take better care of my arms! I even asked my husband to ask me when he gets home everyday if I’d moisturized my arms. So far he hasn’t asked me once, but I haven’t forgotten yet either, so we’re cool. My left upper arm was/is a bit flaky from a sunburn about two weeks ago. I knew this, lotion-ed it once, and went about my life. Why did I think that was enough? Why have I been ignoring my arms? Ugh!

Some history: Growing up my mother (who I have not seen since I was 16) was probably about the size I am now, give or take. She had large jiggly arms. But she also broke out on her upper arms a lot and would pick at them constantly. I always found this gross/disturbing/embarrassing, depending on my mood or where we were. It was an absent minded thing for her, if I recall. But I remember it and the way she would pull her arm flab towards her so that she could inspect and pick it. I swore to myself that I would never do that, that I would never be like or look like her. I lived much of my life living what I felt was the exact opposite lifestyle as her, only to have puberty kick me in the ass (hips, thighs, etc) and make me look so much like her. Only, my face looks just like my dad. Go figure!

Is this why I’ve neglected my arms so? If I was so passionate about not being anything like her, why let the arms that I rely on so much for every damned thing I do in the world go? Eh, actually, I’m done with the whole “letting it go” bullshit. I ignored these babies and I need to rectify that shit, pronto! And so I moisturize them everyday. I inspect them. I try to think loving and happy thoughts when I do this, too. I try to soothe my arms and let them know that I do care about them. This may sound so silly, but my arms ain’t what they used to be in terms of the skin itself. I would like more strength in my upper arms, but I struggle with keeping with anything I attempt to do to find or achieve that strength.

I preach self-care a lot on this blog. I try my best to practice what I preach, I really do. I am honest about my failings. And this is certainly one of them. I was surprised by this huge gap in my self-care routine. I was shocked at the visible changes in my arms that I’d somehow missed or ignored. I wonder what this means, if anything. Is it just simple neglect or taking them for granted? Or is this something more deeply seated within my subconscious due to the facts above about my mother? I don’t know, dude, I just don’t. But I do know that I willfully choose to change this. As I am staring age 34 down here real soon, I know a bit about skin elasticity and what I’ve got left I wanna take extra good  care of. Skin is so important, it keeps your insides, well, in! Ha! But seriously? I want to care for my whole self, all the bits and bobs, and maybe even help someone else discover what they’ve been neglecting, too.

Do you neglect (willfully or not) part of your body? Is there part of you that you purposefully ignore? Not just in looking, but in caring for, too? I would say that in America, a lot of people neglect their feet. They don’t care for them properly. I say this because my BFF P used to work in a shoe store for work shoes (constructions, nurses, etc) and he would tell me horror stories. People just ignore the hell outta their feet, man, and that makes me sad. I hope we can find a way to love our whole selves and not just the parts we prefer. Thanks for reading! <3

Fat events, that is!

Have you ever been overwhelmed by goodness? By love? By friends? That’s kind of where I’m at today. Last week was my first “solo” effort since closing the cafe and I was busy, y’all! Ha-ha! I lunched with fabulous ladies and hung out with rad fatties (okay, some were the same people) and then went to Cupcake & Muffintops yesterday! Whew! I should be tired from it all, but I’m more energized! That is what the fat liberation community does for me. Every time I attend an event I walk away exhilarated! And I am! In fact, I’m so excited that I couldn’t even think of what to write for today’s post! Not that this is anything new, ha-ha!, but I wanted to write something meaningful or deep or whatever…yeah, that ain’t happenin’!

A commenter recently wondered where the fats were at in their home town/state. I felt this way, too! I can’t be the only bad ass fat ass around! And I am most certainly not! I will say it took a bit more work on my part to open myself up to new people. To be open minded, but also open to new friendships, philosophies, lifestyles…all for the better! I can honestly say that my views on many things have changed because of the fabulous people I have met through the fat liberation community. And I highly encourage any and all to do the same. Start a meet up group! Create activism in your area where none existed before! Be radical! Get political! Stand up & be heard! You could buy a “Yay! Scale” and use it in your activism (it is the coolest thing to see people’s reactions!). Start a zine! A newsletter! Or plan a clothing swap!

This one gets people out of their hidey holes, I think, most! Why? Because fat people don’t often get included in such things and finding fatshion, in your size, that fits, that isn’t a gazillion bucks? That is fantasyland, right?! But it doesn’t have to be! You could do a small swap with just a few people or a big ole one for all to attend and enjoy! I encourage gender inclusiveness and an overall sense of community building, but that’s just me. You can have a theme or a costume party or a craft day, whatever. Just dip your toe in the fat liberation community waters in your area. I promise you’re not the only fatty in town!

Where to start? Well, I got my fat activist training wheels on LiveJournal.com’s Fatshionista community. So I would start there. Read the posts, check out the tags, see what resources are there (there could already be a local meet up you haven’t heard about!) and then consider posting your own query about your town/area. It’s that simple! You start by planting that seed and if you nurture it, that baby will GROW! You could also try to get other local groups involved. GLTBQ groups, Feminist groups…there’s so many who could identify with our cause, I’m sure they’d love to help/join forces!

My first meet up didn’t go so well and I wasn’t as open and accepting as I am now. It was a diverse group, but I think too many severely different personality types. We lunched and shopped and that was the end of it. I tried to organize a meet up a few more times and finally it did work out. Though it ended up never being truly a monthly thing, more like every other month. But you know what? I have made some fabulous friends from that group and I wouldn’t trade that/them for the world! It is hard to put yourself out there, but try not to put too much pressure on yourself. Nobody is perfect or expecting you to be (and if they are? Fuck ’em!). Just keep it friendly and casual until you know what you want to do with the group. And if you do any of this stuff? Hit me up! I’d love to promote you! Take pictures! Have fun with it! I’m dying to throw a fatty dance party myself and I will, in time. =0)

For now I say this: If there is a fat event, attend! Support! Promote! Spread the good fat positive word! If there’s not? Consider getting your hands dirty and starting your own! Start small and open yourself up to the possibility of helping grow this spectacular fat liberation community in your area. You won’t regret it! <3

Yep, that’s my little Puggyman, checkin’ out the the piggies I just received from Amanda of FatWaitress & LoveYourBodyDetroit! One is for moi! The other I get to decorate and send back to her for some serious fat activism for Love Your Body Day! Yay!

So adorable and fun! Purple tu-tu? Yes, please! I don’t yet know how I will be decorating my pig, but I’m excited for the challenge and opportunity to do so! I will of course take plenty o’ pictures when it’s completed to share here with you lovelies! Any suggestions on decorating it?

Woo Hoo! It’s back! I love it! Okay, this week’s Tank Top Tuesday submission comes from my beloved WithoutScene of BFB.com fame as well as her own BadAssFatAss & FinessingTheFuckYou! 

I often like to dress very brightly and this was one of those days. I’d never worn these items together before, but found myself inspired to hodgepodge something really colorful together: an old Fashion Bug skirt, a LB camisole, and a cloth I got at a reggae festival years and years ago that is supposed to be used as a headwrap (and of course, my bright blue sports bra). I like to re-purpose items in my wardrobe. Headbands as necklaces, necklaces as bracelets, skirts as shirts, belts as headbands, hair clips as broaches, and most famously among my friends, a camisole as an underskirt–adjust the straps to fit over your hips and wear one under a short skirt (try it out before you wear it out, to make sure it stays up–I happen to have hips that keep it up). To really be innovative with your wardrobe you have to force yourself to work with what you have and get caught up in the whimsy; inhibition is the enemy of innovation. More often than not, you will stand out in a good way. The people with an eye for quirky fashion sense will appreciate you, and if not, what you wear is none of their business anyway.

Talk about breaking the old fashion “rules!” Colors!!! Glorious colors! And that bag is to die for, am I right?! Just goes to show ya that you can be fabulous, fatshionable, and authentically you while still being a rad fatty baring your arms! I love it!

Also, y’all have to see the awesome sauce that is our facebook pictures: “Dueling Smirks”

I am taking submissions from anyone who wants to exercise their right to Bare Arms for future Tank Top Tuesday posts! Email your pics here: notblueatall@notblueatall.com, please include the name you’d like included in the post, a blog or etsy shop you wanna plug, your thoughts on bare arms or other fatty philosophies. It does not have to be in a tank top, so long as your arms are bare. Have fun with it!

Also, feel free to still treat comments as TMI topic/discussion/venting area! Feel free to ask TMI questions or just vent/rant about your own stuff. I love it! We all do! =0)