Well, hello there!

I hope the past weekend didn’t do you in. I survived, in-tact even!

For today’s Tell Me Tuesday I want to talk about things we feel guilty for having/doing.

Today I will be participating in our second annual “Pajama/Video Game/Donut Day” which will include a movie this time around. I do feel guilty for having the luxury, but since I don’t get any sort of true vacation except this one week a year after the holiday, I’m not going to be too hard on myself.

What do you feel guilty about doing/having? Did you receive a holiday gift that makes you feel uncomfortable or question the relationship with the person who gave it to you? Did something happen over the weekend that you just have to tell someone or otherwise get off your chest?

Tell me about it!  =0)

I don’t know that I was ever not camera shy, but my reasons for being so changed over time. First, well, I was just a super shy kid! The only pics of my childhood are generally x-mas gifts being held up or riding my first or second bike or, well, maybe that’s it. I do have a rad pic of myself doing a cartwheel wearing knicker-bockers (just over the knee pants that button on the sides). But yeah, that’s it! As time went on, well, my family didn’t take many pictures at all, actually. Puberty sent me that special gift otherwise known as “OMZ! Don’t look at me I’m hideous!” As I grew fatter? Well, it only worsened.

Even into my late twenties, I would avoid cameras unless I was the one pressing the button. A friend of mine is the same way, but I never felt he had reason to be because he’s a brilliant actor/dancer/writer/handsome & everything-under-that-sun-of-ours! After discovering the Livejournal community of Fatshionista, I was suddenly bearing witness to hundreds of fats posting pictures of themselves, On The Internet! What? Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat? I know, right?!

After seeing some pretty terrible pics of myself I decided I needed to do something. Then I read a quote from Paris Hilton to the effect of she started posing for the paparazzi when she got sick of seeing bad photos of herself. Gee, I thought, that kind of makes sense. So I placed my little toe in the water and posted an OOTD (Outfit of the Day) picture on Fatshionista and was floored by the feedback I got. Not just on the outfit, but on my everything! And it was all positive! I was in a state of shock!I just couldn’t wrap my head around it! But I was sick of feeling icky when it came to taking my picture.

Experimentation! Ah-ha! Taking your own pics with a digital camera helped me so much! One day I decided to make every face I could think of and take a pic. The rule? No deleting! Then I did more OOTD posts. More positive feedback received. More OOTD posts. And so on. Then I got to the point where I figured out how to hold my head, smile the right way and stand for a camera! What? I know! And now? Now I pose for the camera! I laugh when they say “Cheese!” I flirt with it! It’s fun now! Had you told me I would be writing this a couple of years ago I would have thought you mentally ill. But it’s true! There is actually a full folder on my laptop with all pics of myself. That sounds so very vain, but some are just parts, like my nose or chin or ear. It was a learning experience, to say the least. We don’t get to see ourselves from many angles.

The subject of vanity and how others might see self-portraits as that I can understand, but for me it was a bit of confidence building/experimentation and just stubbornness, “I will no longer shy away from cameras, dammit!” And I think it’s worked for me. I still don’t love every pic of myself, but sometimes, even the goofy ones, I enjoy! If you can’t appreciate your own quirks, who will?! (Also great for documenting various hair dos, don’t and cuts!)

If you’ve always shied from the camera or dread those “Kodak moments” of your life, why not try it on your own. It is amazing what you’ll see when you control the shutter! Try it out and let me know what you find! Or team up with a trusted pal and see if you can do a fun and friendly photo-shoot! I have some plans for this myself, I’ll be posting the results if we can sync-up our schedules!

Thanks,

<3
S

I love shoes. My husband thinks I’m insane, but I assure him that my modest collection pales in comparison to most. While lusting after Marianne’s Fluevog’s I started combing the webz for discounted ones and found all sorts of neato vintagey stuff, that I love. But then I came across an oldie but a goodie for sure: Shoe Clips!

OMZ! These are adorable!!! and I realized that they’re not for grannies and strange aunties (I do identify with the auntie bit myself, but I digress) these are mad-rad! So then I headed over to Etsy (My beloved!) and guess what? Tons of friggin’ shoe clips!

The great thing about shoe clips is you can make some yourself out of all kinds of junk and if you’re truly crafty, you can make more masculine ones for dudes, too! I am picturing anchors or steampunkish accents. Lovely! I say get whacky, get creative and have fun with it, dammit! Life is too short to be miserable just ’cause you’re broke as a joke (like moi)! You probably have some plain-jane kicks in your closet, now you can dress ’em up or make them funky! I love this idea so much!

And because I love all things DIY, I am so going to do this:

You just need some flats, an old sweater, hot glue, buttons & a sewing machine. (I’m sure you could hand-stitch if you wanted to.) I am daydreaming of a small army of fats with DIY sweater boots telling the corporate retailers where to stick it with their too-small-for-my-calves boots! Ahem! *Clears Throat* Sorry. Depending on the sweater, I think this is a fab idea!

Have you made over something in your wardrobe into something mega-cool? Tell me about it!!! Send me any other fab-fashion ideas!

Since I had no submissions for Tank Top Tuesday this week I’ve decided to do a different sort of post all together. If you’d rather not read about lady bits and business, then please come back here tomorrow for your regularly scheduled program & topics. Thank you!

If you don’t mind reading about lady bits & business, then you’re in for a treat! Ha-ha!

About three years ago I had happened upon an ad for the Diva Cup in my BUST magazine. Along side it in the ad were sea sponges and reusable cloth pads. I thought that was just a bit too crunch-hippie-granola for my taste (oh how tastes change). But I decided to do a bit of research to see exactly what this Diva Cup business was all about.

At first I did the typical search engine searches and really only found a couple of vague reviews and product information. At the time I was also a vegatarian and loved the post punk kitchen‘s forums for all things food and veg related. But after some random digging, I found a thread specifically about Menstrual Cups! (There is even a LiveJournal community for it.) Suddenly I was reading comment after comment of ladies who used these cups. Crazy, right?

Well, not exactly. You see, Menstrual cups, while a larger initial investment (around $30 I believe), end up saving you thousands of dollars! Also a great reducer of much icky waste products heading for our landfills. As a loyal tampon user, I saw no reason to switch until I realized just how much waste my period was creating. Yikes! Not exactly what I want to think about, but a reality none the less. So I kept reading reviews, experiences, instructions, troubles, jokes…you name it!

I had decided to take the plunge! I headed to my local Whole Foods market (Ugh! I don’t shop there now for a heck of a lot of reasons), I had heard they sold them there, and grabbed my very own Diva Cup! Now, I was 29 at the time and thus went with the larger cup. I had read all about the issue with the stem and how nearly all ladies who buy their cut the stems off completely. And since you couldn’t return it if the stem was removed entirely (I believe you can trim it a bit and still return it- not at the store but to the company itself) I headed home and tried to give it a go as is.

Um, NO! Ha-ha! Thinking back I have to laugh at all of my many failed and stubborn attempts to make my Diva Cup work for me. Bad idea! You can imagine the soreness I had to live with after so much struggling. After I finally relented, I then had to use a tampon. OW! No good. But I suffered, ashamed of myself, and waited until my next period. And then the next and the next. I did so much research on insertion techniques it is not even funny.

Then after a few months (I had nearly given up, to be honest) I decided to give it another shot. After a some personal relaxation techniques (heh) and a shower, I tried it again…and I did it!  It worked! It was comfortable! It didn’t leak! I actually couldn’t feel it at all! And, best of all? No waste, no emergency trips to the store, no wondering if there’s a stain on my ass…It was fabulous! I even, finally, placed the Diva Cup pin on my purse! (It came with this cute daily pinback that simply said “Diva” on it.)

Now? I’ve been using my Diva Cup successfully and happily every since! Fairy tale? Nah, it’s just a matter of understanding my own anatomy and figuring out what works best for me. You see, prior to this endeavor, I wasn’t exactly friends with my vagina. I mean, she was alright I guess, but we were mere aquaintances rather than besties.

I cannot tell you the immense difference it has made in my life. On those rare days when I am having a super heavy flow, I actually feel it before it leaks! I know when it’s full! I can feel it. It’s kinda neat, actually. Hard to describe, but I just do. And now I also know more about my own vagina. I take very good care of my little cuppy and have a little drawstring satchel for it and even bought the Diva Wash for it (although, not necessary at all). The hard thing is getting so excited about this major life change and not exactly  being able to talk about it. Another fabulous thing about it is that I can go to a concert or work or a hike or whatever and not have to empty out at all! I empty it in the morning when I wake up and at night before bed. Now some people will say that you needn’t remove it to have a bowel movement, but I just prefer it. So I will occasionally empty it more often as needed for this additional activity. But I’ve never had it shift or slip or anything like that. And since it’s in me, I don’t have to wear special underwear or worry about wearing certain pants or skirts. Awesome!

And the best part? One Diva Cup should last about Ten Years!!! Fuck Yeah!!! So if you think about how much you spend on pads or tampons in a year and multiply that by ten years? Yeah, it pays for itself so fast! I can honestly tell you that most ladies find no problem what so ever with insertion after the first attempt or two. Somehow that wasn’t the case for me. There are a ton of resources out there now and you can even find neat diagrams of different folding styles for insertion, too. There are other cups with different names and some are made of different materials, too.

I guess what I’m saying is that it is so awesome and great and I just want every woman to know about it! Because I had never heard of it before and to think of all of those years I spent worrying and stressing and oh that awful last day when you’re tampons come out sorta dry. EW! That is the worst feeling! Ugh! No more! I can’t say that I love or enjoymy period, but it’s certainly not as much of a burden as it used to be. It makes me sad when women give fifteen BS excuses why they won’t try it. But I know it’s a scary thing to change what is currently working for you. It’s a very private decision to make. But I don’t care how heavy your flow, it can take it! Pads and tampons actually make it look like there’s a ton of blood coming out of you, but after using the cup and seeing with your own eyes specifically how much is coming out? It’s not that much! Teaspoons! Ha!

What do you think? Have you tried a menstrual cup? Worried about it? Tell me all about it!

=0)

**If you’d like to submit a photo of yourself exercising your right to bare arms for the next Tank Top Tuesday post (doesn’t have to be in a tank top) email it here: notblueatall@notblueatall.com

***If you’d like to submit your own TMI Tuesday story to be posted here, please email it here: notblueatall@notblueatall.com

We’re all busy people just struggling to keep our own minds together lately and then lo and behold: The holiday season arrives! UGH! How do you maintain the relationships you have and even nurture new ones? Plus, everyone’s broke as a joke and the immediate challenge of the holidays is heartbreaking. These have helped me and my own sanity lately:

• Tell someone you love them, out of the blue, unprompted and do not expect a response. Just do it!
• Smile & say, “It’s so good to see you!” and mean it, every time!
• Send someone a thank you note once a week. Even if it’s for something silly or seemingly unimportant. (Handmade is best.)
• Hug someone you would normally give a handshake to. Just throw yourself around them (not in a creepy way, please) with love.
• Offer a helping hand to a stranger or acquaintance. Especially if they haven’t asked.
• Host a holiday card making party! Tell your friends/family/neighbors to bring their own decorations, glues, glitter, etc and you’ll supply the card stock. Double points if you make it a potluck, too! Get one of those plastic party tablecloths to protect your table. (If you can’t afford this or your living arrangement makes this impossible, consider teaming up with someone else or make postcards instead. Tip: Buy cheap postcards at a drugstore or thrift shop and just redecorate the front.)
• Host an indoor picnic! Everyone brings something, very informal and you don’t need a better excuse to enjoy some cheap wine & cheese!
• Write a friend a letter. It doesn’t have to be long or well thought out, just grab some paper and tell them about your day or write a haiku or something. They will enjoy the arrival in their mailbox and cherish the thought that you were thinking of them.
• Email someone once a week to tell them you’re grateful to know them even if you’re not in touch as much as you’d like to be.
• Go to the web sites of all of your favorite places (restaurants, craft stores, anything!) and sign up for the email list! You’ll get crazy-good coupons and can always invite a friend when it’s BOGO time!
• Hate walking your dog alone at night in the cold? Buddy up with a neighbor or check out your local meet up group! You can take turns making cocoa or tea!
• Sign up for Google Voice so you can give one phone number out without having to give out any of your actual phone numbers! Saves time, safer and you can even have your voice mail messages transcribed and sent to your email! Sweet!

Do you have a sanity saving tip? Tell me all about it! <3