There is so much awesomeness going around right now that I thought I’d share some of my faves with you! Woo!

First off, can I just say how much I fucking love LOVE! love Virgie Tovar?! She is amazing and incredible and is doing a video series, “Virgie Tovar’s Guide to Fat Girl Living” and they are flabulous!!! Here’s episode one to whet your appetite (believe me, you won’t be able to stop!):

Dr.Pattie Thomas & PDA Nation want to hear Your Story (and for more resources, links, etc http://revolutionsresources.blogspot.com/):

Please consider submitting your own story through video or text (you can comment on the videos on YouTube).

Amanda Levitt of FatWaitress & Love Your Body Detroit just opened a fabulous fat positive Etsy shop to raise funds for more fat activism: http://www.etsy.com/shop/LYBDetroit
Do check it out, buy something for yourself (like the fat rights tool kit!!! OMZ!!!)

And a bit of not so greatness, but I hope we can have an impact before it comes out…I first heard about this from Marilyn Wann and wanted to share it with you: Please go to the Amazon pages (US and UK) and post a comment responding to the godawful children’s book, “Maggie Goes on a Diet.”
I was personally shocked that the story itself is about a 14 year old going on a diet, but the targeted age for readers is 4-8 years old. Yikes!!! I hope that you will read the discussion and consider adding your own voice! <3

I have so much to be grateful for and I am a firm believer in expressing that gratitude and practicing doing so often. So, here goes! Feel free to add your own in comments! It’s fun! <3

I am grateful for:

• my husband and his support in all the stuff I get into
• my chosen family for their love and understanding and support
• Fat Liberation/Acceptance for just about every positive thing in my life
• having access to reliable transportation
• my health!
• opportunities
• time
• the internet
• the ability to take care of myself
• meeting online friends in real life
• believing in myself when just two years ago I would have given up!
• the readers of this here blog-a-ma-thing! <3

Seriously, you are the best! I love the discussions that happen and the advice that gets exchanged…it’s so special, y’all! =0)

(There will be quite a delay in approval of comments as I will be in a car for the better part of the day. Thank you for your patience.)

I have found myself becoming more and more political lately. It began when I attended the Queer.Fat.Political. event at the GLTB History museum in San Francisco on July 24th. It was such an amazing feeling to be in the same room as these incredible women who have been fighting the good fat (and feminist) fight all of these years (some more than 30 years!!!). I don’t think anyone could walk out of that place that night unmoved. And I wasn’t simply moved, I was inspired, and I was changed!

Since that evening I have only used the term Fat Acceptance once, in a comment on another blog (but do call me out if I’m wrong). I now prefer and completely embrace and identify with Fat Liberation! I think it points more succinctly and directly to the fact that the fat are marginalized and oppressed. I don’t feel that Fat Acceptance carries the same weight (no pun) as Fat Liberation. It feels better on my tongue and I feel more radical for using it! I also think it’s important to use it in this way as more and more deny the oppression of fat people and even some previously self-accepting/fat-accepting people are now calling themselves all of those old euphemisms: fluffy, chubby, big-boned, etc. *HeadDesk*

For me, one of the most important and powerful steps on my own acceptance/liberation journey was simply taking back the word Fat! I use it every damned day! I have to! I enjoy it! It is such a fabulously simple word, with so much POWER!!! Take that power back for yourself if you can. Get a Fat Necklace and watch as the world stops, stunned in your presence (and shouldn’t they be already?!). Perhaps you don’t feel you need liberating. Maybe you feel acceptance is more of what you’re looking for. That’s totally cool! I’m not saying that there is one way or the highway. For me I just feel more empowered when I think of liberation.

I am not looking for anyone’s approval. I’m not interested in appearing “acceptable” (to whom?).  I AM looking to gain full equality for everyone. I am! I believe that everyone is equal and it’s our society and government and corporations that interfere with that and fuck with our minds and make us believe lies year after year after year. And I’m through with that shit, ya know? And while I still haven’t found the words to approach my mother in law about her big butt comments (not about me, but our niece) I did manage to squeeze in a bit of history regarding women and shaving their body hair. She was only slightly surprised and possibly less interested than I had hoped. Ha-ha! Oh well.

I just hate to think that one day this fat acceptance/liberation thing will disappear. Like a wisp of so much smoke. That over time it will become less and less in numbers, that would soon disband (so to speak) and stop accepting ourselves, fighting for the liberation of fats and even stop using the word fat as a descriptor. I can’t accept that as a future possibility! I CAN’T! It hurts too much to even consider. But I see cracks, I see trouble and I just think that we need to support each other and keep in touch with each other more often and stick together more tightly to keep this movement going! I could be the only one feeling this urgency, but I feel it and I refuse to ignore it.

It’s hard to be publicly fat. I know! But what is harder for me would be to go back to how things were. To hating myself, trying to conform (Ugh! Conformity?! No Thanks!) and getting back on the dieting train? Blegh!!! NO! As much as I feel that my very existence is constantly questioned, I know that that is not how I want to live again. I know that for me to be happy and healthy and productive and my truest self I have to keep fighting the good fat liberation (and feminist) fight! I feel it is a duty, an honor and a privilege to have this path at my feet and I do fully intend to follow it.

Hey! I didn’t receive any submissions for Tank Top Tuesday this week and I spaced on even attempting to take one of me, so, let’s just vent our shit out in comments! I know the last two weeks have been crazy-busy for most or at the very least stress inducing. Why not get some things off your chest?! Please feel free to engage in discussion in comments, too! I love when that happens. We have so much in common, you just don’t even know! Okay? Cool! Vent away!!!

Also, feel free to continue to use to comments section for your TMI questions and stories! Woo!

And please consider submitting a photo for next week’s Tank Top Tuesday. You can email them here: notblueatall@notblueatall.com Please include the name you’d like used, any blogs/sites you’d like to plug and what you think/feel about baring your arms!

**************

*********************

**************

I’ll go first!

So, it’s been a week since I sold my cafe. It feels very strange to not have that weighty burden on my shoulders. I keep expecting something bad to occur because of it. I want to fully enjoy myself and this time I have with my husband, his mom and our niece, but his mom (and subsequently now our niece) won’t stop with the big butt and bubble butt comments even after my husband explained that it could be damaging to our niece. *HeadDesk* Then at dinner last night she was describing someone she works with, “Well, she has a huge butt, but that’s the only thing wrong with her…” UGH!!!WHAT?! REallY?! I don’t understand her incessant comments about her own body, food, calories, the word “fattening”, etc…when she turns around and orders things I couldn’t imagine eating (fried mostly, make me ill if I eat it). She is constantly trying to feed us snacks and “Life” waters and garbage. There is no way she eats like this at home, right?! Is she just vacation eating? Is she nuts? I am beginning to believe that by the time she and our niece leave, my husband and I will be cured of our indecision to have a child. Ha-ha! This has been a vent. Thanks.

This morning as I was waiting for my large, iced, soy white mocha (no whip, thanks) at Peet’s, the barista said to me, “Oh you’re hair looks so cute today!” and I was in utter shock! I leaned over to her, “Me?! Are you serious?” she replied, “Yes! It’s so cute!” I stepped back and looked around and then said, “I swear to you, all I did was roll out of bed and run a brush through it. Thank you so much! You made me feel so much better!!!” and we both laughed. It was a bit of an odd exchange. It’s not like she sees me everyday or even very often, but it was so nice of her to say that.

Truth is this isn’t the first time someone has shocked me with a compliment when I’m feeling especially icky or low. It’s nice and all, but occasionally it can be jarring, too. This morning, for example, I was barely even awake! At first I really didn’t think she was talking to me, but looking around I realized I was surrounded by short haired dudes and figured that it had to be me, right? Most people don’t compliment a guy’s do by calling it “cute.” But I accepted the compliment in the end, which is still not an easy thing for me to do, but I am determined to get better at it! I consider it an important life skill.

So what is up with this outsider perspective thing? How can someone see me/us as something we cannot? I’ll take a stab at it, but I’d love your input as well, okay? So I think because we see ourselves through this inner lens, which differs based on mood and current events, we can’t truly see ourselves outside of that lens. Does that make sense? Like, I felt all crusty and sleepy, but I did manage to brush my hair (and I had forgotten at the time that I’d put a tiny barrette in there) , but someone else saw my weak attempt as awesome and there ain’t nothin’ wrong with that! Ha-ha!

We see ourselves at our best, our worst, our everyday and we hear what others think of us our entire lives. Yet we are usually surprised when we see a good picture of ourselves, right? While I have managed to embrace the “bad” pictures of myself and even celebrate them (if you’re my facebook friend, you know what I’m talking about). Sometimes though, even I am shocked by what the camera captures. “Is that really me?!” When others thing we look amazing, all we see are our flaws. We see those minute details no one would even bother to look for or even see/notice!

And what do we do when our BFF/spouse/friend/sibling/etc is feeling blue? “Oh but you look fantastic!” *HeadDesk* We think it’s okay to lift someone up with the same thing. Hilarious! Except it’s not, really. Why are looks so important? Why do we reinforce these concepts? Has society always behaved this way? Did ancient Romans and Egyptians tell each other their hair was looking extra good that day? I honestly don’t know (but I’ll assume only the wealthy had nice hair anyway, right?). How does it make you feel when you’re feeling pretty low on the old self esteem, when someone compliments you on your looks?

I will say that the best mood/self-esteem/etc lifter for me is a fat event or meet up! Nothing makes me feel more empowered and beautiful and strong and amazing than hanging out with rad fatties! I can’t explain it, but it’s like just being instantly accepted and loved without a word spoken. You just know it! You just feel it! It’s awesome! Some of you may be thinking, “Well, that’s great for you, but I have no rad fatties in my life!” Pssshhht!!! If you can’t hang out with rad fatties in person, why not have a rad fatty dance party online through skype or google+?! You can get a web cam on Amazon for $5 (I got the green apple shaped one, it rocks!) and get your fat pride on! Start a meet up group (if you would like suggestions/guidance, email me!)! Seek out local BBW nights at dance clubs! There are lots of things going on, especially in the summer. Let’s lift each other up! Build our fat community and spread the love the world over! <3