NotBlueAtAll

I'm just a fat gal with a blog and an opinion. Well, lots of opinions.

Notblueatall’s 1st Giveaway!!!

September20

What: My first ever giveaway, yo! Oh, what do you get? Any one handmade item of your choice from my Etsy shop! Great for gifting or for yourself. Woo! (Winner will be chosen at random by using one of those randomater-sites, have to find one, suggestions welcome!)

When: Starting today until September 30th. Winner will be announced on Friday October 1st!

How: You may enter 4 ways/times 1.) by commenting below with your email address 2.) by posting the link to this post on  Twitter 3.) by posting the link to this post on your Facebook and 4.) by linking to this post on your own blog/journal. Easy-peasy! Please include your username for tweets and FB posts so I can see them.

Also, be sure to follow me on Twitter: @Notblueatall!

Thanks!  =0)

Etsy
notblueatall

A Moment for Humility & Assertion

September17

 You know, almost anything you feel you “have to” do, like cleaning and washing, can become a chore, even a drudgery; while those things that remain optional, like Disney World and Twister, can seem far more inviting, even fun.

So, as you go down the path of life, particularly when it seems you must force yourself through the motions, it just may help if you pause and give thought to the countless souls who’d give most anything for the option of even your “chores.”

Life… it can sometimes be like one of those really, really “good problems,” huh?

Tallyho,
The Universe

Touche` Universe! My head was in that exact same space. I was driving in to work this morning and listening to KPFA(.org) and I am not sure who the guest was, but they were talking about the disappearing middle class versus the sprawling of poverty in the U.S. I may not have that quite right, but the point is that their conversation made me think about myself, my friends and my family and how in the last two years our lifestyles have gone from comfortable, but not by any means rich, to struggling every damned day to pay the bills.

I read something yesterday about the cost of health care having gone up some astounding percentage and this made me think of England and France and every other country who has free universal health care for it’s citizens. *sigh* And what a mess we’ve made of our own health care systems here. I mean, it’s not the like the actual cost of doing the same procedure/job/etc went up…no the insurance companies simply keep raising their prices! No real reason for it other than the fact that they can. Plain and simple! And how sick it makes me feel to think or even to know in some instances that I will probably be denied medical treatment at some point in my life due to nothing but my size.

This made me realize that I should talk to my husband about this, specifically, because if something did happen to me and I was unable to advocate for myself, he would have to and I think he should be well informed when the time comes. And we never know when that time may come. Sobering thought.

Taking a moment each day to be humble and grateful for all that I have and even for what I don’t has really helped me stay grounded and happy. It has given me sort of a check-in moment and allows me to see that even on a “bad” day, things aren’t so bad at all.

I’ve been reading Linda Bacon’s “Health At Every Size” and every day something just sort of slaps my face and says, “OH MY GAWD! EVERYTHING I’VE EVER BEEN TOLD ABOUT MY BODY AND DIETING IS A DAMNED LIE!” and it makes me so very thankful that she wrote this amazing book. I seriously want to buy a copy for everyone I know! I wish it was in every school library in the universe! I know I will be buying at least five copies for various family members who truly need this information. I want to send one to Michelle Obama! How could I do that, or more to the point, how could I get her to read it?

I wish I could commit the entire book to memory. I want to carry it with me so that when ignorance attacks I can defend myself or fight back with actual knowledge and wisdom and facts…scientific facts! (Oh man, I so held back the urge to type “scien-fucking-tific facts!” Ha-ha!) It pains me to the core when I think of the amazing and incredible people who’s lives have been shortened or taken away entirely by a corrupt and misguided medical industry. To find out that it’s the exact same people (sometimes) that are screwing up our own government with the lobbying and whatnot. UGH! I want to scream at the heavens and shake my fist at, well, everything!

How do we get the truth out when it has no corporate backing?! Reading “Health At Every Size” has made me realize that all of the anomalies in my life actually aren’t anomalies at all! I’m normal in the sense that I am healthy. My numbers have always come back normal (blood pressure, cholesterol, fasting glucose levels) and always to the chagrin of doctors & nurses who read them to me.

The “thin is in” trend comes and goes, but mostly goes as larger lovelies always come back into vogue. I think the only reason it’s held us in it’s grips this long this time around is due to the invention of marketing either in print or television or what have you. It’s taken hold of our society and while I have begun to see more and more people of size in the media, it’s nowhere near normalized yet.

And that’s where fat activists come in: we must be publicly fat! We must stop using words that make other people comfortable and start using the word FAT! Make them shift in their seats if they must, let them hold onto the lies if they insist, but they will never be able to tell me again that I am wrong or other or not worthy of any damned thing! We need to encourage each other and support one another and for once I just want to see a happy fat on t.v. instead of the continuously humiliated and depressed or abused fats on reality shows.

This weekend, while I’m out walking or shopping or serving organic goods to my customers, I will hold my head up high with a full heart and a knowing smile. I will welcome conversation and open dialogue. I will use the word fat in places where I would have otherwise referred to myself as a “big gal” or “plus sized” or “my size” and I will not allow other people’s negativity to seep into my consciousness!

Because I am worthy and strong and fat and happy and healthy (and many think I shouldn’t exist)…too bad for them, I AM A UNICORN!!!

*If you would like your own messages from “the universe” sign up for free here: www.tut.com

And Here’s Where I Bitch About Boots…

September16

I have been searching for a pair of knee-high boots to fit my fat calves for two years now. I’ve just about had it! Except that I still really want a pair. It’s almost become this sort of fantasy that once I have my perfect pair of black boots I can do anything I want. It’s my ticket to the ultimate independent bad-ass girl party of the millennium! NOT! But I don’t know, I just feel like they are the reason I don’t wear the dresses I have. It’s like a big jig saw puzzle with the center piece missing.

So sad that I put so much stock into an inanimate object…especially something as silly as boots! I mean, I probably won’t even be able to wear them to work for either comfort reasons or just not wanting to get coffee grounds all over them. So why does this mean so much to me? It’s like they’re the holy grail to me. I can’t speak for all fat gals, but it does seem like a bit of an equalizer. Usually shoes are one thing that thin & fats can shop for together without worry about sizing issues!

Being of the death fat persuasion (some will define this as being over a size 26 or over 300 lbs, either way, that’s moi!), my calves are larger than many fats. At their widest, my calves measure 19″, but that’s not the only issue. I also wear a woman’s size 8 shoe (occasional wide width, depends on the style/brand). There is the problem I’ve found. While many knee-high boots come in larger calf widths, it’s usually only in larger shoe sizes! I was so stoked about a fatshionista post about some boots for $27.99 at Target that fit her that I ran out and tried ’em on…no dice! She wears a size 11 and thus the size 8 they had was way too narrow in the calf to even zip. *sigh*

I dream of dresses with big ole shit-stompers! Cute romper-ish dresses (like overalls, but a dress) with combat boots! Or the old grunge way of wearing a granny dress with big tough boots on! YES! THIS! And the truth is, I probably can get some boots that will fit, but nowhere near what I can afford. And there is the rub for me. When I had the money I couldn’t find any boots and now that I don’t have a dime to my name I know exactly where I can get some…for $200+!!!

So, I’m a big baby and a whiner and it’s true. It’s the one thing I feel is missing from my wardrobe. It’s such a cute-ass look, ya know? UGH! I will surely drive myself crazy with this pursuit. I know this, yet I still search. For used boots. For cheaper boots. People keep saying Torrid has them, but I don’t wear heels, yo! I need a biker/harness style or some other low heeled boot of great construction. They need to take a beating and then ask for more! I want to wear them with girly things and then to goth night! It’s my fantasy after all.

All this talk of boots, I might as well show my faves so far:

Sphere - SUPER WIDE Calf Boot by Ros Hommerson (Black)Channel - EXTRA WIDE Calf Boot by Ros Hommerson (Black) Ashley - David Tate Super Wide Calf Boot  (Black)

1. “Sphere” Ros Hommerson 2. “Channel” Ros Hommerson 3. “Ashley” David Tate 4. “Vine” Duo

Those last ones, I just found yesterday, may not even fit me as the reviews say they have a very narrow ankle. But I love them so! I would even go for a more engineer style boot. But alas, none shall fit my Cinderella-esque calves! Ha! Those first three should fit, but I bought some Ros Hommerson boots before and they claimed to be wide calf, but they didn’t even come close! So I keep looking and waiting and hoping and maybe one fine day I’ll find my dream boots.

Yes, I do realize that I could buy some boots that fit my feet and then get some magical cobbler to put in a gusset or shaft of elastic or leather to make the calf fit…but in the end it would cost more than buying some that do fit (or so I have heard). I did find some cute ones at The Avenue last winter. I tried them on, they were cute as hell, but they wouldn’t zip up. And when I looked at the display model? It was falling apart all over, but especially the sole! Nuts!

Do you feel there is a giant missing puzzle piece to your wardrobe? Tell me all about it!  =0)

Rad Fatty Alert: Roger Mooking!

September15

Have you heard of Roger Mooking? (or here)

I just discovered him during my stay on the couch the last few days. He’s is…I just think that he is amazing!

Okay, so I think he’s adorable as hell! What can I say? But seriously? He’s crazy-talented! He is a chef, has his own tv show, musically talented & accomplished and a husband & father to boot!Wow!

I ended up watching a lot of shows on the cooking channel and found his show and tonight? Tonight we’re making one of his recipes for dinner! Because, OMZ! It looked too good not to at least try to make it! He does make it look easy.

I wanted to post about him because I’d never heard of him before and hello?! Rad-fatty alert! I don’t know if he identifies as fat, but he exudes a gorgeous-fat-soul to me. He has that thing…Charisma! Yes! THAT! Oh man. And he’s Canadian! I’m hooked on his show, for sure! And that channel reminds me of what Food Network used to be and I miss that. *sigh*

Please, if you’re into cooking at all, give his show a shot! I know you won’t be disappointed. =0)

Tank Top Tuesday!

September14

Today’s Tank Top Tuesday Pic comes from Hanne Blank, about to head out to walk errands. Support your right to bare arms.

Thanks so much for the pic, Hanne! You’re amazing!

*Would you like to be featured on Tank Top Tuesday? Send me your pic in an attachment (just one at a time, please): notblueatall@notblueatall.com

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