I had recently read a post on Tumblr that included the quote, “EATING SUGAR DOES NOT CAUSE DIABETES.  It just doesn’t.  You cannot eat your way to diabetes.” And it blew my ever-loving mind! But then, then I made the mistake of saying that exact quote aloud, to my friends. You can guess what the response was. Sadly, I hadn’t researched it and was given a giant shutdown by my nearest and dearest and with nothing to back myself up, I fell silent. You know that had to be hard for me. Ha! But seriously? Why isn’t this information out there? Why do people believe that fat = diabetes? Because it’s bullshit if you ask me.

Last night my husband and I got into this conversation again and again I explained my side of it and while he admitted he didn’t know much about diabetes (he has an aunt with it, she’s thin), he still held to the myth. In fact he said, “You or I could have it right now and not know!” to me, straight-faced. I was gobsmacked. WTF?! I explained that I know I don’t have it for two reasons: I have been tested every fucking time I walk into a clinic/hospital/doctor’s office simply because they take a look at me and demand the fucking tests (I just know now, no matter what my ailment to fucking fast the night/morning before the appointment). Also, no one on either side of my family has ever had it. Simple as that. My dear husband then pointed to the foods we eat and the foods I grew up with. HELLO? NOT GENETICALLY PREDISPOSED!!! Also, not good enough for him.

I don’t want to start a fucking debate or shit storm here. I honestly, just want the TRUTH! I understand lifestyle and environmental factors vary, but seriously, is everyone at risk? I don’t believe that my fat will suddenly cause me to have diabetes, but it bothers the shit out of me that he thinks it’s possible. UGH! Please, give me information, experiences, links, anything!

Here’s what I’ve found (but still reading through):

http://www.diabetes.org/
http://fa-diab.com/home.html
http://www.second-opinions.co.uk/diabetes_index.html
https://secure.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/wiki/Diabetes

Please do not attack anyone, you will be removed permanently! Use your manners, have some respect for your fellow humans and let us all discuss this openly and honestly, together!

Thanks. Y’all rock! (In case you didn’t know!)

Oh! Lesley’s post about Doc Marten’s Boots brought me right back to my freshman year of high school! *Grunge-swoon* I am finding myself super drawn to that way of dress, yet again! I just love the combo of something femme with something more masculine: granny dresses & docs! Yo! And I was just never without a flannel. I would often wear *gulp* a tie-dyed half-tank top with a big flannel over it (my dad’s usually) with jeans. I couldn’t afford docs. I had never even owned anything name brand. A friend of mine recently asked me, “How could you have gone your entire life without owning a pair of Levi’s?” My response, “Easy! I was poor and then I was too fat!” Ha-ha! It’s true.

I didn’t own my first pair of Doc Marten’s until I was 18/19 years old and I had snagged a miraculous pair of the classic air ware bouncing sole 8 eye boots (in classic black leather) at Ross for $20!!! I thought it was a fucking joke at first. So I went up to the checkout counter and, with heart a-flutter, attempted to buy them…and then did, successfully! I felt like I had robbed a bank that day! And whoa did I love the hell out of those boots?! I could do anything in them and did! I wore them and nothing else (shoes anyway) for years. Until they died and I had to find more comfortable shoes for work. *sigh* I have yet to find a similar pair since (I’m now 33, yo).

It is interesting to me though, when a person looks me in the eyes and asks why I’ve never owned _____. I always ask myself, “Do they not see the size of me? Are they oblivious? Are they stupid?” The answer is usually the second one, oblivious! How could someone who has never been fat or had to shop for fat-fitting clothing know or understand what that entails? They can’t! And often come across as ignorant, unfortunately. But you know, when I explain that they don’t come in my size, they usually look surprised or sad. Sad! And then I find myself comforting their sadness. WTF?! Now I try to say things like, “They don’t come in my size and so I won’t give them my money.” This helps both parties I think. Maybe…I don’t know.

But shoes, well, I love shoes! They take me places! Ha!

My second pair of Doc Marten’s were also purchased at Ross for the same price as the original ones I got but were the oxford style in brown. I love them! I trekked all over Europe in those bad boys. I still wear them often. I feel so much taller and stronger and just bad-ass in them! I feel like I am daring the world to fuck with me while wearing them. Sadly, they’re not comfortable enough for work  anymore so they only get worn on my days off. I am now searching for that original style pair. I scour eBay. I hope & dream. I can’t afford ’em, but who knows, another $20 pair could some my way someday. A gal can dream!

I’ve never truly longed for anything designer labeled until this year when the Beth Ditto line for Evans came out. I told myself not to look, why torture myself?! But I did! And oh how I wanted it all! But I’m still okay with not having those things. They’re lovely, but not for everyone. It does make me happy that such a thing exists in my size. I can only hope for more and more and more. I admit that I was devastated when Isaac Mizrahi came out with his line for Target that only went up to a size 16 (or was it 18?). I rushed to my local Target and found the massive display and then, Ack! Nothing for me. I ran over to the shoe department and was surprised, suddenly, how ugly his line was and sort of walked away all limp and puddley.

There are other major designers whose styles I love: Stella McCartney, Betsey Johnson, Vera Wang & Anna Sui to name a few…but they won’t get my hard earned moolah until they can cloth my 300+lbs ass! *middle finger* And my struggle to find knee-high boots to fit my giantess calves? Forget it! I’m (almost) completely done with that. “But Sarah, didn’t you just find a pair at Avenue that fit your calves?” Yes, I did…but they ain’t comfy and they kind of piss me off because they start out looking damn good and then start to bunch and buckle around my ankles leaving them sore and me cranky as hell. WTF?! AVENUE!!! *shakes fist*

I guess I’m at a point in my life where comfort trumps all. I just refuse to suffer for fashion and style. I love looking like me no matter what’s on my body and so that is that. I’ll keep my eye out for those Docs and granny dresses, but for now I’ll just stick with what I got and what I know. And try my best not to lust after what I cannot have. Certainly my poor dear of a mind will appreciate it. Ha!

What item instantly brings you back to the good old days? What have you lusted after but could never have? Tell me about it!

Notblueatall Podcast Episode Two (Player at the bottom)

Or on iTunes (Please subscribe if you can, Thanks!)

My guests this time were Brenda & Julie of TheBustyTraveler.BlogSpot.com Do check it out!

The post we were talking about “Double Double Featurette”

We talked about her friend Psycho Sue’s Blog: Sew Misunderstood-Fashion for Wayward Girls

Brenda’s Skirt tutorial!

Road to Wellville Trailer

This is the Etsy shop I got my “Know Fat Chicks” button!

Post on the LiveJournal Community Fatshionista about activism and grass roots ideas

My post with the business card that has a positive body message.

You Are Beautiful

Scene from Heathers that Brenda quotes:

Since I had no submissions for Tank Top Tuesday this week I’ve decided to do a different sort of post all together. If you’d rather not read about lady bits and business, then please come back here tomorrow for your regularly scheduled program & topics. Thank you!

If you don’t mind reading about lady bits & business, then you’re in for a treat! Ha-ha!

About three years ago I had happened upon an ad for the Diva Cup in my BUST magazine. Along side it in the ad were sea sponges and reusable cloth pads. I thought that was just a bit too crunch-hippie-granola for my taste (oh how tastes change). But I decided to do a bit of research to see exactly what this Diva Cup business was all about.

At first I did the typical search engine searches and really only found a couple of vague reviews and product information. At the time I was also a vegatarian and loved the post punk kitchen‘s forums for all things food and veg related. But after some random digging, I found a thread specifically about Menstrual Cups! (There is even a LiveJournal community for it.) Suddenly I was reading comment after comment of ladies who used these cups. Crazy, right?

Well, not exactly. You see, Menstrual cups, while a larger initial investment (around $30 I believe), end up saving you thousands of dollars! Also a great reducer of much icky waste products heading for our landfills. As a loyal tampon user, I saw no reason to switch until I realized just how much waste my period was creating. Yikes! Not exactly what I want to think about, but a reality none the less. So I kept reading reviews, experiences, instructions, troubles, jokes…you name it!

I had decided to take the plunge! I headed to my local Whole Foods market (Ugh! I don’t shop there now for a heck of a lot of reasons), I had heard they sold them there, and grabbed my very own Diva Cup! Now, I was 29 at the time and thus went with the larger cup. I had read all about the issue with the stem and how nearly all ladies who buy their cut the stems off completely. And since you couldn’t return it if the stem was removed entirely (I believe you can trim it a bit and still return it- not at the store but to the company itself) I headed home and tried to give it a go as is.

Um, NO! Ha-ha! Thinking back I have to laugh at all of my many failed and stubborn attempts to make my Diva Cup work for me. Bad idea! You can imagine the soreness I had to live with after so much struggling. After I finally relented, I then had to use a tampon. OW! No good. But I suffered, ashamed of myself, and waited until my next period. And then the next and the next. I did so much research on insertion techniques it is not even funny.

Then after a few months (I had nearly given up, to be honest) I decided to give it another shot. After a some personal relaxation techniques (heh) and a shower, I tried it again…and I did it!  It worked! It was comfortable! It didn’t leak! I actually couldn’t feel it at all! And, best of all? No waste, no emergency trips to the store, no wondering if there’s a stain on my ass…It was fabulous! I even, finally, placed the Diva Cup pin on my purse! (It came with this cute daily pinback that simply said “Diva” on it.)

Now? I’ve been using my Diva Cup successfully and happily every since! Fairy tale? Nah, it’s just a matter of understanding my own anatomy and figuring out what works best for me. You see, prior to this endeavor, I wasn’t exactly friends with my vagina. I mean, she was alright I guess, but we were mere aquaintances rather than besties.

I cannot tell you the immense difference it has made in my life. On those rare days when I am having a super heavy flow, I actually feel it before it leaks! I know when it’s full! I can feel it. It’s kinda neat, actually. Hard to describe, but I just do. And now I also know more about my own vagina. I take very good care of my little cuppy and have a little drawstring satchel for it and even bought the Diva Wash for it (although, not necessary at all). The hard thing is getting so excited about this major life change and not exactly  being able to talk about it. Another fabulous thing about it is that I can go to a concert or work or a hike or whatever and not have to empty out at all! I empty it in the morning when I wake up and at night before bed. Now some people will say that you needn’t remove it to have a bowel movement, but I just prefer it. So I will occasionally empty it more often as needed for this additional activity. But I’ve never had it shift or slip or anything like that. And since it’s in me, I don’t have to wear special underwear or worry about wearing certain pants or skirts. Awesome!

And the best part? One Diva Cup should last about Ten Years!!! Fuck Yeah!!! So if you think about how much you spend on pads or tampons in a year and multiply that by ten years? Yeah, it pays for itself so fast! I can honestly tell you that most ladies find no problem what so ever with insertion after the first attempt or two. Somehow that wasn’t the case for me. There are a ton of resources out there now and you can even find neat diagrams of different folding styles for insertion, too. There are other cups with different names and some are made of different materials, too.

I guess what I’m saying is that it is so awesome and great and I just want every woman to know about it! Because I had never heard of it before and to think of all of those years I spent worrying and stressing and oh that awful last day when you’re tampons come out sorta dry. EW! That is the worst feeling! Ugh! No more! I can’t say that I love or enjoymy period, but it’s certainly not as much of a burden as it used to be. It makes me sad when women give fifteen BS excuses why they won’t try it. But I know it’s a scary thing to change what is currently working for you. It’s a very private decision to make. But I don’t care how heavy your flow, it can take it! Pads and tampons actually make it look like there’s a ton of blood coming out of you, but after using the cup and seeing with your own eyes specifically how much is coming out? It’s not that much! Teaspoons! Ha!

What do you think? Have you tried a menstrual cup? Worried about it? Tell me all about it!

=0)

**If you’d like to submit a photo of yourself exercising your right to bare arms for the next Tank Top Tuesday post (doesn’t have to be in a tank top) email it here: notblueatall@notblueatall.com

***If you’d like to submit your own TMI Tuesday story to be posted here, please email it here: notblueatall@notblueatall.com