I'm just a fat gal with a blog and an opinion. Well, lots of opinions.

Because John Waters is Awesome

I came across this on Tumblr and it cracked me up and I wanna do some of this stuff and I love JW like WHOA…so I give you:

the John Waters advent calender:

Day 1… Get naked and smoke.
Day 2… Ask a neighbour if they find it funny that every man in the neighborhood has a penis.
Day 3… Flash someone.
Day 4… Get your hair done.
Day 5    Go to a porn theatre (or rent a porno movie) and “pop a load”
Day 6… Whenever you hear someone say “shit” tell them you hate the brown word.
Day 7… Exclaim “What a day for an execution!” to strangers.
Day 8… Stomp on someones foot – laugh maniacally.
Day 9… Play “car accident.” (Be sure to have plenty of ketchup on hand.)
Day 10… Get a baby sitting job – throw wild destructive party. Trash everything.
Day 11… Admit to God that you are a whore.
Day 12… Tell your nephew (or other younger male relative) you’d be so happy if he turned nelly and found a nice beautician boyfriend.
Day 13… Seduce a bus driver.
Day 14… Refer to your daughter (or young female relative) as “that little MF”
Day 15… Write “I sniff jury underpants” (or other obscenity) in a bathroom stall.
Day 16… Have sloppy joes for dinner.
Day 17… Go to a doctor and demand “a wang.”
Day 18… At the dinner table exclaim loudly “I’m so hungry I could eat cancer.”
Day 19… Tell someone that you’re a thief, a shit kicker and that you’d like to be famous.
Day 20… Condone first degree murder. Advocate cannibalism.
Day 21… Have sex with a midget in the back of a car.
Day 22… Be celibate for celluloid.
Day 23… Watch “Christmas Evil” with JW commentary.
Day 24… Send someone a bowel movement.
Bonus day – Return all your Christmas gifts for money because…. “you can do that you know.”

(john “meat thief” waters photographed by john russell)

*In case you didn’t know, no, I no longer celebrate x-mas. But I do find radical acts of randomness to be completely awesome. Please share things in this same vibe in comments. Things you’ve done or would like to…let’s have fun with this, shall we? Woo

posted under DIY, Easy, Free, FUN!
4 Comments to

“Because John Waters is Awesome”

  1. On November 30th, 2011 at 1:21 pm Twistie Says:

    I do celebrate Christmas… but I also enjoy the hell out of randomness. Probably my favorite bit of Christmas random is to suddenly burst into obscure carols (I’m talking things like The Boar’s Head Carol which has a refrain in Latin and is all about feasting) on street corners for no apparent reason.

    John Waters is one delightfully sick puppy.

    And I suddenly crave a Sloppy Joe. I think the last time I had one, I was about eight. Damn, and I already got pork chops for dinner.

  2. On November 30th, 2011 at 1:27 pm Not Blue at All Says:

    Twistie: I love randomness in all of its many forms! Why a sloppy joe? That’s hilarious to me for some reason.

  3. On November 30th, 2011 at 1:32 pm Twistie Says:

    Well it’s because it’s on JW’s list of Christmas random. I looked at that one and suddenly thought ‘damn! I haven’t had one of those freaking things in decades!’ and then I started having a random craving. Of course, I did happen to read that list just as the monthly cravings for red meat and leafy green, iron-rich veggies kicked in full force.

  4. On November 30th, 2011 at 1:39 pm Not Blue at All Says:

    Twistie: Ah, yes, the monthly iron cravings, I get those as well. I missed the sloppy joe one, too funny. That is a very non-x-mas thing to have for dinner I suppose. Ha-ha.

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