I'm just a fat gal with a blog and an opinion. Well, lots of opinions.

40 Never Felt So Good!


This past weekend my nearest and dearest friends surprised me with a wine tasting adventure here in the bay area. We met for breakfast and were discussing our next steps (which winery first?!) when this big white limo pulls into the parking lot. “There’s my ride!” I shout with my usual sass. But when I turned around to get back to business, all of my friends had these huge grins and their phones out and…Y’all! That limo was for us/me! I never would have guessed! It was such a shock! Ha! So we piled in and our driver, Captain Ron, took us to all the best spots! We hit the champagne to start things off right on our way to our first spot.

It was a lovely warm day in Livermore, California. I can’t recall the name of a single winery we went to, but I do believe that there were 5 total that we visited that day. I think the original intention was 6, but the limo blew it’s transmission at number 4 so that changed things. Yep! Leave it to me, or just my sit-com life in general, to break a fucking limo! Ha-ha! We weren’t actually in the limo when it broke down. Captain Ron let us know what was going on before we started our tasting but was certain he could get us a substitute and the party would roll on. Myself and my bff P decided to try both the wine tasting at this particular spot, as well as their spirits tasting. Whew! I’d never done the spirits tasting thing before, but it was both rough and fun and of course by the end I was wasted! Ha!

I will say here and now that my beloved bff D took wonderful care of us all and especially me, she was also not imbibing. She made sure I was hydrated and even made sure we stopped for snacks midday. I am certain that it was because of her specifically that I was not in the least bit hungover the next day. When our tastings were done(we had a party of 7), we filed back into the limo to snack, drink, laugh, and wait for our replacement ride. This downtime, though brief, proved detrimental to our plans for the rest of that evening. D offered J her empty Starbuck’s iced tea cup so that he could carry some harder booze covertly and thus party on! Only, that’s not what he ultimately decided to actually do. I think he and T had some kind of childish competition (is there any other kind?!) as to who could get the most drunk or maybe it was about who could surpass “Christmas Tom”, being the highest level of drunkenness anyone in our group had recently achieved. In any case, J filled that Starbuck’s cup with Scotch (he’s not a big hard liquor drinker, tbh), and an entire can of Coca Cola…and then chugged it!!! Needless to say, the limo wasn’t the only thing having a breakdown! Ha!

Captain Ron returned with a large van and drove us back to our cars at the breakfast place. Here we switched to the trio’s van and made our last winery stop: the singing winemaker. J was so drunk by this point, though always entertaining, he’d reached the point where exposing him to the general public was soon becoming a bad idea. We made it to the winery for a tasting, but as we were walking up the steps the band was wrapping up it’s last song: Rocket Man, by Elton John. The sun was lowering but it’s warm rays found just the right spot to highlight the cinematic moment of P & T walking up the steps together, it was straight out of a movie. It was lovely, honestly, and I totes teared up! I love those jerks, dammit! Anyway, T & I posed for some pics by their big fluffy spider decoration and then went in for our tasting. They had some great stuff! I don’t remember any of it! Ha-ha! I also don’t remember J going back to the van, but let’s just say it was the right time to pack it in.

We headed to the hotel we’d be staying in that night and decided to forego the dinner reservations and get some pizza delivered. We’d all been drinking all day, except D. Everyone was mega tired and some more drunk than they let on (me). Though the pizza was delayed, we all enjoyed and our spirits brightened as we watched the George Michael documentary on t.v. The trio had a long drive back home and so they left and we hugged our goodbyes and my undying gratitude to have their friendship! They are truly amazing and special people who will do anything for those they love, period. Y’all know I respect the hell out of that! <3

Next morning we each got up and got ready to head to brunch where Tigress & Ashley would be meeting up with us. OMZ!!! That brunch place was amaaaaaazing! It looks like a straight-up bar, and not even the sports kind. I mean like a drinkin’ bar, no frills. But the thing is, they rocked my professional brunch socks right the hell off!!! Not only did they have great food (So good!), but they also offered multiple mimosa options for your mimosa indulging pleasure! I went for the classic bottomless mimosa AND the Hawaiian themed mimosa flight they were offering that day. SO DELICIOUS! I was blissed out for sure! The owner kept popping by and snarked at/with us and we loved it! Tigress looked fantastic in a ver Halloween themed outfit! Ugh! Ashley brought an orange and black bouquet of flowers! It was just so great!

What the others don’t know is that I later met up with Ashley in Berkeley for a cider at a local brewery with some ex-coworkers. Ha! It was chill and I got to hang out with Suki the cutie pie french bulldog and chat. It was nice. Great way to wind down before going home…where my phone soon crashed and bootlooped for the next 18 hours. D’oh! Though the next day, Monday, was financially nightmarish, the weekend was so lovely it doesn’t even matter! My friends wrapped me up in the love and friendship and humor and showed me that they care and want me to be happy! Who could ask for more than that? (Okay, a job would be pretty dang nice! Ha!)

It is mere hours away from my fortieth birthday and I have way less thoughts and feelings about it than I thought I would. Ha-ha! The truth is I am struggling, but I’m surviving. After my birthday I have literally NOTHING going on in my life. So…yeah that’s a thing that kind of haunts me. But I’m sure it will all be fine. It’s fine. Everything is FINE! Ha-ha! Muwuahahahaha! Ahem. Uhhh…PICS!!!

Rad Fatty Love to ALL,

If you feel so inclined (Ranges from $2 – $150):
My 40th Birthday Wish List:
Cash & Gift cards also appreciated…I just lost my job! 😛

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