I am so fortunate and grateful to have had the television show “Roseanne” in my life as a kid/teen. Not only did the show offer amazing working-poor family representation, but it also made me feel less different and weird. Here was a fat woman and a fat man busting their humps trying to keep house and home for themselves and their three kids. Guess what? Sounds a lot like my family (minus a working mother). “Roseanne” approached otherwise taboo topics like lesbianism and labor rights long before our current equality and labor rights climates were on anyone’s radar. I can’t help but wonder how much of that show influenced my own feminism and thoughts on fat bodies and their presentations. In fact I have watched and re-watched the entire series (yes, even the last two seasons, they were still good fun) and still love it, if not more than ever!

I saw a bunch of people linking to an article called, “And I should Know” so I had to read it. I don’t follow Roseanne Barr’s blog like I used to, but I check in from time to time. I enjoyed seeing her on Oprah and was moved to tears watching the video they showed of her life on her macadamia farm in Hawaii. I had meant to save it for my husband (he wants to live off the land as they say), but accidentally deleted it from our DVR. Then a real treat happened when Ms. Barr guest hosts the Joy Behar show and had guest Michael Moore on! WOW! Two rad fatties (if only Mr. Moore was body accepting *sigh*) I adore on the same show?! Amazeballs! They talked truths, my friends. It was a radical moment for me in both uses of that word. I have not read any of Roseanne’s books, but mostly because I’m broke. I think she is a brilliant woman and is so underrated it is offensive!

Anyway, back to the article! I truly enjoyed reading about her fighting for proper credit due to her and how she went about it and how the staff helped her stay strong through some heavy bullshit. It’s a worthwhile read, I promise! I know she’s had some controversies and scandals and all of that shit…but she is a being in constant renewal and change. I identify with this as an abuse survivor, as a woman and a feminist. though her words can come across as harsh (I’m guilty of this, too), I find that when you get to the heart of her message (and her heart, too) you can see that she is speaking from a place of love and honesty. What more could you ask for?

Yes, even you!

Last night my good friend Carmen and I headed up to San Francisco to attend a free burlesque workshop at Good Vibrations. I was fortunate enough to have met and been invited to the workshop by the instructor and incredibly fabulous lady, Virgie Tovar. She is such a sweetheart and bad ass, simultaneously! You just don’t even know! Ha-ha! But I was excited about learning some new moves and in such a welcoming and comfortable and accepting environment (a rare thing indeed).

If you’ve never been to a Good Vibrations location, you’re in for such a treat! Imagine a sex toy shop, but set up like a fancy boutique! And the employees were all so calm and nice and just welcoming. Everything you could hope for in a sex toy shop! What I loved most about Good Vibrations is that they had demo/display models of every toy they carried! You could actually pick them up, touch and feel, turn them on (hello! So you know how powerful a vibe is–whoa!) and see what they can do! This was fabulous for me because I just never know what I want or like or whatever. Carmen was instantly attracted to the high-end stuff (go figure) because of the colors and design of their toys. Gorgeous, no lie, but $150? No dice!

We filed into the back room while Virgie set up for the class. It seemed more and more people kept coming in an almost endless stream. Finally everyone arrived and was seated and Virgie started the class. And she was just so friendly and cool and like that awesome older sister that girl had in high school? The one in college when y’all were sophomores? Yeah, the reeeeeeeeeeally cool one! That’s Virgie! She started by having up loosen up and just getting ready to move our stuff and shake our money makers (my words, not hers). Then she put on the music and showed us, very patiently, some burlesque moves.

She began with the classic and essential (in my opinion) shimmy! Anyone with a rack of doom can certainly pull this one off without a hitch. It’s a pretty simple move of just really shaking your shoulders so that your chest gets a good jiggling! Then we were instructed on “the bump” which is taking your hips and bumping them out on each side. As though you’re knocking something out of your way with your hips, one at a time. Then we were instructed on some arm movements, pelvic thrusts, feeling ourselves up and a special finishing move that is just too good to share here! So much fun!

What I found interesting was the great diversity in not only sizes of bodies in the class, but also ages and ethnicities and more! Plus, there were like three or four guys in the class, too! In fact, when it came time for us to perform our choreographed moves and a quick freestyle bit in groups of five and six in front of the class, the guys participated, too! It was so cool! We even got to use props! I chose a bright red feather boa and pretended to look like I knew what the hell I was doing! Ha-ha! The music was fun and perfect, too! everything from Prince’s “Erotic City” to Madonna’s “Vogue” and even 50 Cent and Kelis! All totally fitting and appropriate, I thought.

After the class I stayed to chat with Virgie and some other lovely ladies I had met at previous local fat events, Hi Allison & Alex! *Waves*
Virgie was kind enough to allow a couple of photos of us to be taken and so we had a bit of fun with it:

(Trying to re-enact the painting behind us.)

Next we headed back out into Good Vibrations for a bit of shopping! I had seen one specific toy that I almost bought online, but since it was the same price (and no shipping) and we got a 10% off coupon by attending the class I couldn’t say no! I thought it was extra awesome that they ask if you’d like to donate a dollar to planned parenthood, to which I most certainly said yes! How could I not? With the discount, tax and $1 for PP, it still ended up cheaper than the regular price! Chah!

By evening’s end, I had had a great time with a great friend and got to hang out with fellow fat fabulous ladies while learning some new dance moves! Who could ask for more?

Thanks, Virgie, for all that you do, gurl! You rock!
<3
S

While gearing up for the Fat Flesh mob last Friday, I had wanted tp wear something special, to make a statement and feel good in the process. There was no doubt in my mind that my “Fat” necklace would be included. When I mentioned this to some friends, three different gals said that they would also be donning their “Fat” necklaces. When I arrived, Marilyn Wann had one on as well. And once there and chatting with all of the wonderful people I met that day, so many asked where I got my “Fat” necklace. I had no idea such a simple thing would be so sought after.

The “Fat” necklace is a statement piece. It is something truly special and to be worn with great pride. Providing, of course, you have the sanity points to deal with the unique reactions you may get while wearing it in public. I’ve gotten everything from people avoiding eye contact with me to laughter with a side of “That’s awesome!” with it. But I especially loved wearing it to the Flesh Mob on INDD. I held my head high and wore my “Fat” necklace as a sign of my comittment and gratitude to be part of the fat acceptance movement, to fight for the equal treatment of all bodies. However, one good friend wore hers to a party where people incessantly discussed and offered her dieting bullshit. Ugh! Some will just never get it, I guess.

Of course it all began (for me anyway) when Natalie (of definatalie.com fame) designed and offered her (and in my eyes the original) “Fat” necklace. I still think it is the prettiest design, but alas, I am far too broke for such a purchase. Nicole bought one from Natalie and I know everyone was asking about it! And you know you’ve not only designed something asthetically lovely but also radically of-the-moment when someone gets your design tattooed on their flesh! I have no links or pics, but I’ve seen at least two gals with her design on them.

So, then I posted a pic/GIF the other day with my “Fat” necklace and a few commenters were interested in where I got mine and/or how they could get one for themselves at a lower price. I want to tread lightly on the subject because I am a firm believer in supporting independant artists and protecting their work. I ask that you do consider buying your necklace from Natalie, but if you absolutely cannot swing it, then I shall offer the few options I could find on Etsy (by independant designers, handmade, many local to the U.S.). Unfortunately the gal who made my necklace has closed-up shop. But the lettering is like that from the movie “Fame” from the 80’s (bitchin’ movie).

Here is what I could find on Etsy, but I have not personally purchased from them before:
Sugar & Vice  offers a few different options both in font as well as a banner style I loved.
Wacodis has one listing with seemingly limitless options (and amazing price, but only in clear letters).
Everlasting Doodle offers customization of most of their designs. So many!
I also found out that Tap Plastics offers pretty much the same thing minus the chain and such. I have not used them before but have heard nothing but great things about them in general. Nothing specific in regards to this option for a necklace, but due to their reputation I have no doubt that they will work with you!

Thank you to Natalie who brought the concept of the “Fat” necklace into our world and being an amazing artist, blogger, activist and person. You inspire us all! <3

 If you do get or have a “Fat” necklace, do send a pic of you wearing it my way (include links, too!) so I might compile a lovely post in the future to show our “Fat” necklace glory to the world!
Email it here: notblueatall@notblueatall.com

Thanks,
<3
S

I posted my review about Pambra’s awhile back, but just received a new comment about it and I wanted to share it with you:

“Just wanted to comment on what a great review of Pambra’s this is. I hate my bras and underwire, and Pambra’s made all the difference. That’s why we decided to start selling them at More of Me to Love. We have the lowest prices, free shipping on two packs or more, and for all readers of NotBlueAtAll, we will give an additional 10% off all Pambra’s. Just input “NotBlueAtAll” into the Discount Code field of your shopping cart. If you have any Pambra’s questions, let us know!”

Wow! How awesome is that? Very! A great deal if you’ve been putting off trying them or didn’t want to pay shipping. I love when shipping is free! I might have to pick up a couple for myself! ‘Cause when it’s hot outside? You never feel like you have enough Pambra’s! Rock on!

This is a TMI Tuesday post, you know the drill by now don’t ya? If you know me or would just rather not know icky/personal things about me, please come back tomorrow for your regularly scheduled program, or something. HA! <3

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What band? How about the bra band and waist band? Good enough for ya? Yeah, famous! Ha! I’m talking about the issues that these areas have to deal with thanks to the ridiculously designed garments we’re supposed to wear. Ugh!

Waist band issues are certainly something all walks of life can relate to, right? If you wear pants, skirts, certain styles of dresses, tights, pantyhose, underwear, diapers…anything with a waist band, then you know what can happen. On the milder side you can get those indentations or lines from the garment or elastic pressing against your tender flesh. No fun, but usually not painful. Though I used to enjoy rubbing those lines in a relieving sort of way. But waist bands can cause way more problems than just that! And how?! Rashes, dryness, sores, boils, sweating, blisters, infections…the list goes on!

I used to wear classic 5 pocket denim jeans from Lane Bryant way back when (I’m talking 1997-2000 or so). They were thick and sturdy and did alright for the music store job I had. But man, those waist bands sucked! I would work my ass off all day just to have to deal with this extra thick band soaked in my own sweat that would thus give me pimples and all kinds of other issues. I remember long days of more manual labor intensive work where I would be in total pain and completely distracted because of the friggin’ waist band of these jeans. Luckily, years later, I found a style more suiting to my shape at Avenue and have since bought 7 pair so I won’t have to put up with that shit again! They are thinner and have some stretch and they lay just under my waist when standing (though lately the button seems to want to invade my belly button without it’s prior consent) and since I am my own boss they are fine for work.

I know jeans are difficult for anyone to find no matter their size, but I have had a terrible time finding ones that work with my giant thighs/ass but also work for my shortish legs. I am willing to bet that this is a typical thing though. And the issue with the waist bands causing a skin reaction, y’all have had this, right? I only occasionally have issues with this now, but when it’s crazy hot out it does come back. Perhaps more of a heat rash though.

Bra bands! Oh the under boob issues! This one I have yet to truly remedy for myself. I get mad issues from bras, man. I know I’m not alone! I have fairly big boobs (50DD I think, though I wear a 44DD in a specific LB bra because that’s as big as it goes and it’s comfy for a bra) and I guess somewhere along the way just assumed or was told that if you are big breasted you must a.) wear an under wire bra your entire life and b.) put up with marks, scarring, blemishes and such under your boobs and just shut up about it will ya?! NO! Do I shut up about anything? Heeeelllll No! Ha! But this is a never ending battle for me and a lot of ladies.

You get a bra that’s cute, but it hurts. You get a bra that’s comfy, but it’s ugly or wears out crazy fast. You get a bra that specifically does something (minimizes, cushion straps, insulated wires, etc) and either it doesn’t do what it promised or it wears out too fast and is no longer effective. And let’s not even get into the sizing issue! Ugh! But the fabrics used to construct these wonder garments? Mostly synthetics and rarely are they soft or supple at all and some are downright rough on the skin! I used to buy the criss-cross in the front style bras that were so popular in the 90’s, but then I found Lane Bryant’s bras to be more supportive. Then I couldn’t figure out my size (they didn’t offer fitting then) and would often have quadra-boob and not know it. Then I would get cotton ones from LB, loved them, but they would poke me in the arm pits! Or the under wires would pop out the sides. BOO!

The bras I have been wearing for almost 7 years are the convertible bras from LB. I bought one for my wedding (needed a strapless one that would stay put) and then kept going back for more and more until that was all I owned. What I love about it is that it has this gel/silicone piping along the bands and cups and it really keeps it in place, thus no chafing or rubbing. Plus it has some light padding so if it’s cold, no one can tell that my headlights are on! They have round and smooth cups. I can’t stand pointed or tubular cups. And yeah, it’s nice that if I have a dress or top that may require a different style that I can just convert it to suit my needs. However, I’ve only done this a handful of times as I use it as an everyday sort of bra. What I don’t like about it is that it doesn’t come bigger and so the first few wearings can be a bit uncomfortable. I’ve learned to hang dry them, but they still go into the washing machine. I don’t hand wash a thing! And I don’t iron or do windows, just sayin’! Ha!

I do still get a pretty impressive amount of blemishes/bumps/sores/etc under my bra band. It sucks! I try to give my rack a day off about once a week, but I generally feel immensely self-conscious when not wearing my usual bra. Both because the ladies aren’t where they usually are and this causes my clothing to fit strangely and so I am just not feeling like myself. But when I have an under boob sore? I try to wear a sports bra instead. Or, if I am at work or some other need-to-look-nice or be confident setting, I will wear a Pambra under my bra. A Pambra is basically a liner that sits between the bra and your skin. They also make them for tummies now! I don’t wear my Pambra every day, just when I have a painful sore or it’s going to be a hotter day and I may sweat there. I have tried powder to remedy this (I also get pimples or whatever between my thighs, arm pits and where the leg holes of my underwear sits due to what I believe is Hidradenitis suppurativa though I have not been diagnosed) but to no avail.

I recently heard about women who get these same types of issues where their bra straps lay on their shoulders. Oh man, I had not known about this and I am sorry to anyone who deals with it. Please share your tips or suggestions or horror stories in comments, you never know who you may help!

What issues have you encountered with the above bands? What has helped? What’s made it worse? What bras should I try out? Because I am seriously not loving LB these days and want to find a more permanently comfortable bra and with a 48/50 inch chest (under boob) it’s hard! Tell me all about it! =0)