NotBlueAtAll

I'm just a fat gal with a blog and an opinion. Well, lots of opinions.

What Do You Look For In The Mirror…

October19

This was my message from “The Universe” this morning and I would love to discuss this with you all:

When you look into the mirror, do you look for what you love most?

Do you look for me?

Do you smile?

Did you just ask, “Is there any other reason to look into a mirror?”

Smartie,
The Universe

I’ll admit, I do often smile in the mirror. Sometimes it’s only to check my teeth, other times though it is to actually smile at myself. I love to make faces though, too. I always check my hair, eyebrows, stray/crazy-hairs…but sometimes I just look to check in on myself or to see what I’m putting out there. What do others see when they look at my face? What am I projecting?

I’d love your thoughts, habits, etc…on this subject. Fun, no? Ha-ha. Thanks.

 

Tank Top Tuesday!!!

October18

This week’s Tank Top Tuesday submission comes from none other than my fabulous friend Jeanette!!! You may have seen her in any of the many pictures I’ve posted on our clubbing adventures. She inspires me and motivates me and I love her for it. She is also a fellow Scorpio lady, which is so nice ’cause I’d never met one before. She just got back from Puerto Rico and I cannot wait to hear all about it! Woo!

I think I started wearing tank tops regularly about three summers ago when I was unemployed and frankly just wanted to be cool and comfortable.  I didn’t really think of it as some form of self acceptance, but I guess it was unconsciously to some degree. It was about being more comfortable.  Prior to this I would occasionally put on a tank top with a skirt for work but would always add a jacket or shrug. I’d get self conscious in meetings if I was sitting close to someone and start wondering what they must be thinking about my arms. Crazy, huh?

I think the summer I started wearing them regularly, it was easier because I was around fewer people. However, when I went back to work, I kept wearing them.  And now they are an absolute staple of my spring, summer, and early fall wardrobe. Why should I be warm and worried about what people think,  when I can be cool and confident? They are just arms, people. We all have them, if we are lucky.

I’ve been learning a lot lately about getting outside of my comfort zone.  I mean four days in a rustic cabin in the Puerto Rican rainforest is not something I do every year, or well ever really!!  Not only did I do it, but I stayed that much cooler by baring my arms!

Sometimes getting comfortable, starts with discomfort. Seems obvious right?

Jeanette blogs at www.sustenanceaside.com about cooking delish dish for one (or more) and about random other things at www.theneighborupstairs.blogspot.com

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I am taking submissions from anyone who wants to exercise their right to Bare Arms for future Tank Top Tuesday posts! Email your pics here: notblueatall@notblueatall.com, please include the name you’d like in the post, a blog or etsy shop you wanna plug, your thoughts on bare arms or other fatty philosophies. It does not have to be in a tank top, so long as your arms are bare. Have fun with it!

Also, feel free to still treat comments as TMI topic/discussion/venting area! Feel free to ask TMI questions or just vent/rant about your own stuff. I love it! We all do! =0)

Too Many Possibilities?

October17

I used to write poetry, like all of the time…but only when I was depressed, which was all of the time. I felt that depression gave me something to write about. It fueled my writing and me and gave me something to do. I think too much as a default, so writing things out helps anyway. But just now while trying to figure out what to write about today I realized it’s been such a struggle lately because I’ve been depressed. What? I know! Funny how things can switch on you without notice like that, eh? But it’s true. What was once a constant source of inspiration has been left in the dust.

I was a very depressed person in my teens and early 20’s. Specifically, the most concentrated bit at least, when I was 19 transitioning into 20. My friend Steph could tell you all about it, poor thing, she was right there with me everyday almost, back then. We lived on Lean Cuisines and Jose Cuervo. We did a lot of stupid shit and had a great time doing it. But I would always go home in a pit of despair, she always seemed able to keep the spice of life at hand and ready for  more. I was such a sad thing that I got a very regrettable tattoo. I have it to this day and while I want to cover it, part of me feels like it represents a time of my life that I shouldn’t want to forget. And I don’t think I want to forget it anymore.

Now I find that if I’m down or fully depressed, I can’t write for my wonderful readers. It’s not fair to them. It’s not giving them my truest me or the goodness that they give me back. Basically, I’ve suddenly lost my inspiration for writing. It bums me out even more, but I know this isn’t productive so I’m trying to lift myself out of this. I mean, we’re all struggling right now. I don’t  know anyone who isn’t. And while I am mega-struggling financially, emotionally I need to make myself a priority. We all should do this, yo!  Self-care is so vital, I say it all of the damned time. Ha-ha!

But then I was thinking the other day of doing a video series or a photo series of some sort. It was late at night and when I woke up I couldn’t remember what the subject/goal was supposed to be. Ack!  I hate when you get great ideas when you’re just trying to go to sleep. I always feel like if I get up to write it down I won’t ever fall asleep and so I never do.  Oh well. I guess if it’s that awesome it’ll come back to me. Fingers crossed!

What would you like to read/watch/see? I feel like I’m in this huge transitional phase and can do whatever the hell I want with my life and this blog and so why not dive in…but the endless possibilities are stifling. I need your input. You have all been so there for me, through all of my crazy-cafe years and beyond. I will write or record or photograph whatever you wish, my lovelies. You mean so much to me, I just need a little push in the right direction. I’m very open to guest posts, too!  Just hit me up! My email: notblueatall@notblueatall.com

And here is me today, raw and natural and without any alteration, fresh from the shower, the real and true me:

Thank you all for being your authentic selves with me, too. You mean the world to me. Thank you!

@

Prohibition Then And Now

October6

After watching Ken Burns’ PBS series “Prohibition”  this week (three parts, each two hours – you can watch online at the link), it is no small wonder to me how anyone could see the similarities between the 1920’s and now. I would venture that every era, every generation has some social swell of some specific issue or struggle to address and/or overcome. Why, right now, we’ve got a tome’s worth! I am thinking about our social climate. Our financial struggles. The environment. Our prison industrial complex. So many things all going down those proverbial tubes. We’re all scratching our heads, clenching our fists, muffling our sobs and hoping beyond all reasonable hope that something will give, something will improve…it has to!

Prohibition began as a moral movement. Basically, how I took it, was a religious/conservative group gathered and organized on the platform that alcohol consumption led to corruption, prostitution, spousal abuse and other criminal activities. They believed the only solution was to prohibit, enforce and criminalize alcohol in all of its many forms. Does this sound familiar? No? Okay, consider for a moment the bootlegging that took the place of saloons and brewers. Many people died as a direct result of the illicit ways people got and distributed the booze. Think of the doctors prescribing whiskey as medicine, if you knew the right doctor that is, medicinal use being legal even after the nationwide ban on alcohol. Yet the consumption of alcohol itself wasn’t technically illegal. In fact you could make your own wines at home as many families did back then.

Many saw prohibition as a direct attack on immigrants who held fast to their cultures and rituals and often saw nothing at all wrong with alcohol. Suddenly self-appointed rabbis of any background were enjoying their own private supply as this, due to its religious significance, was also still legal. Soon petty thieves found themselves knee-deep in opportunity and flush with loads of cash for any and all liquor they could get their hands on. With this money came power they hadn’t the conscience nor education to put to good use (my opinion mind you). And basically, all hell broke loose! Speakeasies were raided, people were killed in clumsy displays of not in my backyard and many were jailed for periods far outweighing their crimes.

Sound familiar yet? Okay, let me put it this way, there are a lot of problems we currently have in this country. Many of these same problems were happening back in the twenties, too. The solution for the lack of jobs, floundering economy, a country overcome by unemployment and despair: end prohibition! How did they do it after such a long and successful battle by those who sought to turn this country into some sort of moral compass for the world? They found the right woman for the job! She had money, connections, charisma, power and above all else, she was fearless!

Right now we could fix a lot of our problems both environmental and economic. We need sustainable products to replace things like cotton, paper, oils, etc…we need to create jobs and fast…we need new revenue to get our deficit down and our economy flowing again! The solution: end prohibition…of cannabis!!! Think about it, it got its bad name and reputation because of a certain media mogul of those same roaring twenties: William Randolph Hearst! Hemp threatened his empire and so he sought to destroy it and whoa did he?! This may be my lay person’s grasp of it, but he did more than just destroy the industry itself. What he did (or eventually happened) was outright demonize not just hemp but cannabis itself in all of its various forms and uses.

There in lies the problem. Our prohibition of cannabis has turned petty crooks into power hungry lunatics. Ordinary citizens into life-sentence-serving prisoners thanks to steep drug laws, ravenous politicians and corrupt law enforcement and judges…not to mention California’s three strikes law. Ugh! That needs to be repealed, man. By ending prohibition on cannabis and repealing all laws to restrict, enforce, criminalize, stigmatize and whatever else they’ve chosen to throw at us, we could actually improve our entire socioeconomic situation!

 

 

New taxes! State-run dispensaries! Safer access! Hemp fiber industry jobs! We could actually bring manufacturing back to the USA with hemp. We could corner the market and find new ways to use the stuff. My husband was just telling me about the dire situation every winter in the colder parts of our country where senior citizens are forced to choose between heating oil and other necessities due to the endless rate hikes in oil. Hemp seed oil would be so much cheaper! Hemp is stronger than cotton, too. My grandpa had an old hemp rope that seemed a thousand years old. Ha-ha!

After watching the final installment of “Prohibition” last night I told my husband that what was needed to end the prohibition of cannabis was the right person to represent the movement. Someone with charisma and power. Someone well-connected and hopefully with lots of money! Someone who understood the impact and improvements possible with its repeal. I don’t know who that person could be, but I do believe that this simple thing could truly help us as a nation. If we can just step away from the stigma of it and focus on the hard facts, I think it could make a real difference.

I know that this post has absolutely nothing to do with fat, but it was on my mind in a big way. I spent the first part of this week very depressed. I’m not sure I’m out of it completely yet, certainly the police activity in my area has not been great for my anxiety and paranoia, but part of it is absolutely the economy and how it has ravaged my life and those I love. The arguments against cannabis are preposterous, absurd and full of stereotypes and stigma. I have yet to actually meet a person who is anti-cannabis. Even people who have never used it recreationally (as a drug or whatever) still understand its many varied and great uses and how it could improve our economy. It is something I believe in made all the more clear thanks to Ken Burns and his fabulous documentary series. I admit that I have always felt a deep connection to the prohibition era and it will always be an important era in my heart and mind. But that my lovelies is a post for another day…

Thank you for reading. Do share your thoughts on the topic. I would love to hear your suggestions, too. Take care of YOU!

!

Subversive Mission

October5

This picture has been floating around ye olde web here for awhile and today my friend Carol Squires inspired me:

“Wow, just think how much fun it would be to make thousands of these and then plaster them in women’s bathrooms in schools, clubs, dressing rooms, any place we can. I want one for my home mirror. INNDD project?”

My response?
“Love that idea! May just have to make it a mission!”

And then I looked up a recipe for wheat paste and created a printable version so I could get a bunch on a page (email me for the word doc)…it just so happens that I was watching something on street art the other day and some famous artist mentioned a new product that could apply paint for street art and I thought it would be perfect for wheat paste application, too! (It’s like a small squeeze bottle with a sponge-wheel applicator at the top.)
Anyway, I think I will make this a mission of mine: to paste this message in as many places as I can.
I am not yet sure if I will document it somehow, but I will do it and will gladly talk about it!

What do you think? What would you think if you came across this message somewhere?

What other awesome things can we do like this?

Lay it on me!

<3

ETA: Or something more like this? I want lots more suggestions!

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