NotBlueAtAll

I'm just a fat gal with a blog and an opinion. Well, lots of opinions.

My So-Called Life is Awesome!!!

June10

Last night I watched the last two episodes of “My So-Called Life” and can I just say how great that show is? Is! As in, it totally stands the test of time. Not was. I felt like it was just about to really explode and then realized that there were only 19 episodes. I was a little sad, but also semi-glad because some of the plot lines that they’d laid out would have been hella crazy drama later on had they continued (Ricky staying with his gay teacher, Bryan possibly getting confronted by Jordan…so much stuff!).

I see a lot of myself in the Angela character. A lot! Like that tug-of-war between the good girl and the bad girl. Oh man, that was me! My normal friends thought I was this wild child, while my newer and sometimes older and usually stoner friends thought I was this goody-goody. My friend Joyce is so the Rayanne character that it was sometimes hard to watch the show. I’d forgotten about her sleeping with a mutual friend of ours and how much that hurt me until something similar happened on the show! And how many times did that happen to me? Too many! I’d share my crush/love/lust for some guy and next thing you know a very good friend is sleeping with the lug. *sigh*

That last episode was made of butterflies in your stomach and yearning for something true. Jordan Catalano, as played by still hotter than lava Jared Leto, just fucking dug into me with his eyes made of pure blue crystal wonder. I mean?! Whew! I needed that glass of wine while watching that one, I tell you what! And poor Bryan Crakow, who wrote a love letter for Jordan to give to Angela to make up for his indiscretion with Rayanne, when Angela confronted him about the letter? That moment, that was some heavy, amazing shit!

But you know which character felt the most authentic for me? Ricky Vasquez. Not only did it make me think of my BFF J, but also of some of the boys I hung out with in Jr. High. One in particular, well, I hadn’t a clue at the time, in fact I had a mad crush on him for the last few months of 8th grade, but I sort of gave him a nickname that I am hoping didn’t stick. We were in a play together and well, he was so dreamy (in a nerdish-preppy way) I couldn’t help but crush on him. One day during rehearsal, he jumped off of a platform on the stage and well, he had a flair to it and I dubbed him Tinkerbell. I didn’t know he was gay. But he is gay. I haven’t seen or spoken to him since and I can’t help but wonder if that innocent and flirtatious nickname had a negative impact on him. Come to think of it, he signed my yearbook “Tink” so I don’t know! I feel awful now, but honestly I hadn’t a clue! And I can’t just say, “Hey I’m really sorry I did that…” because what if it didn’t matter to him at all? What if it had a positive impact? Oh well.

You see, in Jr. High I hung out at “The Homo Tree.” I didn’t know it was called that until many many years later. But it was sort of a nerdish group of misfits and freaks that couldn’t hang anywhere else I suppose, though we had a nice setup of benches around this huge glorious oak tree. A couple of the other boys from the “Homo Tree” I found out later were gay as well. I didn’t know gay from anything else at the time. I was pretty out of the loop, as it were. But I adored them all. We were a bit of a tight-knit group back then. I wonder about a couple of those guys and gals from back in the day. I guess that’s mega-normal. Curiosity and all. Those people touched my life though. And they witnessed the many beatings I took throughout 7th grade as it usually happened pretty dang close to the “Homo Tree.”

Watching “My So-Called Life” brought back a lot of memories. A lot of fashion memories, too! Ha-ha! I love it! It’s so good. It’s so well written that there were moments when I forgot these kids were actors! I cared about them. I wanted Jordan and Angela to find a way to work it out because damn, we never seem to get THE one we want in high school (I never did). And the Jordan character was so many guys I dated back then. *shakeshead* So many memories! And I was rooting for Bryan, but he knew he made the bed he now had to lay in. So good! I can’t even…You should just watch it! It’s on Netflix instant watch and probably everywhere else you can watch things.

I wasn’t prepared for how it would make me feel or the memories that would come flooding back. So many friends that seemed so close and dear and important that I haven’t seen or heard from since 9th grade. It’s life! I think the course my life took after 9th grade, well, it’s no wonder I had forgotten all of these things. But in a way I am glad to have those memories back now. And I am so grateful for the two friends I still have from back then. I just wish I could find my friend Summer. I do hope that she’s okay.

Here’s to hoping you have a wonderful weekend, no matter what you are or aren’t doing. Just relish in the existence of it. *Hugs* I love you all! <3

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8 Comments to

“My So-Called Life is Awesome!!!”

  1. On June 10th, 2011 at 11:25 am Twistie Says:

    Definitely relishing in the existence here. In fact, last night when Mr. Twistie finally made his way home from work at 11:04 pm (after he went in early, too!) I gave him his anniversary present early. It was partially because he’d had such a rotten day, but also in part so he wouldn’t run out and get it himself before monday.

    He is now the proud owner of the entire run of The IT Crowd. Yes, it was a hit. In fact, despite the fact he got home about eight hours before he had to be back at work again, we watched four episodes. I think he might even have gone for another if I hadn’t started yawning so much (from the tired, NOT boredom at all)! I can’t even remember the last time a gift I gave him got him that excited.

    Of course now he says he has to think extra hard about what to get me. After all, in Japanese tradition (as pounded into his head so hard by his mother that most gift-receiving turns into fits of guilt for him, hence the rareness of actual expressions of enthusiasm about it), he has to get me something even more extravagant and ‘better.’

    You know, this might be the right time to suggest a trip to the Le Creuset outlet….

  2. On June 10th, 2011 at 11:43 am Not Blue at All Says:

    Nice! So glad he liked it so much! Le Creuset? Meh, I’d just buy it on eBay!

  3. On June 10th, 2011 at 11:50 am Twistie Says:

    Or I could tell him what I really need more than anything in the world is a set of tart rings.

    Or I could just wait and see what he comes up with.

    We got introduced to The IT Crowd last month, and ever since Mr. Twistie has been staying up late nights searching YouTube for clips. I knew this was something he needed. In particular, he needed the one where Roy and Moss give Jen the internet to take to her Employee of the Month speech.

    I’m still rolling about helpless with mirth over that one.

  4. On June 10th, 2011 at 12:00 pm Not Blue at All Says:

    Dear Maude that show is so good! Yes, that episode is one of the absolute best ever!

  5. On June 10th, 2011 at 12:02 pm Twistie Says:

    I think it goes right up there with the Thanksgiving episode of WKRP In Cincinnati.

    “As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.”

  6. On June 10th, 2011 at 12:37 pm Not Blue at All Says:

    Oh man,. love WKRP! Haven’t seen it since I was a kid.

  7. On June 11th, 2011 at 5:16 am jery Says:

    While I love that nostalgic feeling, I sometimes hate that it makes me miss “who” I was in that time frame.
    Of course, then that gets me amped up to try and reclaim some of that energy and fearlessness to tackle the next thing that life has in store for me.
    Does it have that same effect on you?

  8. On June 11th, 2011 at 8:46 am Not Blue at All Says:

    I feel the exact same way! While I feel silly reminiscing about a time that was truly awful for me, I had somehow forgotten the good stuff. So remembering that now? I’m grateful to have them at all. And yes, that fearlessness? That flirtatious side of me? That readiness to take on the next next next challenge? Fuck yeah! So, we’re gonna make a dance record together now. Ha-ha! Ready?

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