NotBlueAtAll

I'm just a fat gal with a blog and an opinion. Well, lots of opinions.

Kindness & Other Thoughts

November29

Long day, heck, long weekend and well, I got things on my mind. I try to keep things fat related but, shit! It’s my blog and I figure some of you may actually want to know what’s on my mind. If you don’t, no worries. Tomorrow I’ll post something fat, I promise!

I’m not a religious gal, but lately I feel as though kindness is my religion. I feel as though it is a lost art that requires our attention and care. The following is stuff that is on my mind, but also a request to be more mindful as you go about your business in the world. You are touching the lives of everyone you encounter. Why not make it a pleasant one?

  • Do something kind for someone. Anyone, anything, but please just do something kind. A lot of us are very good at masking our moods and bad days and you can make a world of difference with a small gesture. I swear it’s true!
  • Smile and say hi! It won’t hurt!
  • Support small & local businesses. We’re hurting and need you (even a $1 purchase) to keep above water! Also, don’t be afraid to talk to business owners, about anything! It’s the highlight of my day! It frustrates me when people treat me and my cafe like another faceless s-bucks employee. I’m not and this isn’t and I put a lot of love, work and pride into everything I serve. When you come in to buy your vanilla latte, sometimes? I want to just hug you!
  • Skip the self-checkout at the store. Sometimes it’s a miracle to be able to check out your own purchase, but remember that cashiers/checkers need their job. So please, wait in line a moment longer and talk to the checker. Ask them how They are!
  • Be kind to retail clerks! They get treated like garbage day in and day out and NO, they can’t just get another damned job! Also, I think everyone should have to work at least 9 months in a retail shop in a mall, including the holiday season! It builds character
  • Stop lying! It helps absolutely no one! Even if the other person doesn’t know you’re lying to them, you know and it can only harm you in the long run. Why not try some honesty for a change?
  • Give people notice! Don’t text your friend whom you never see when you’re two minutes from their apartment on a Sunday night. Seriously! I need some notice if for nothing else than to mentally fucking prepare for your tidal wave of energy or to simply tidy up!
  • Be grateful! I can guarantee that you have something to be grateful for! If nothing else, the air you breathe!
  • Stop judging others! It will eventually hit You where it counts!
  • Be kind to yourself! Even if you only have five minutes, do something lovely for five minutes!!! Put on a song and dance! Give yourself a face mask! Or simply close your eyes and go to your happy place!

Wanna get something off your chest? Leave it in comments! Want some random advice from me? Ask me anything! I’ll do my best!

Thank you for reading. You rock my socks!

ETA: Just read this amazing article and am blown away! I must try this stuff out!

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posted under Blog, Bullshit
6 Comments to

“Kindness & Other Thoughts”

  1. On November 29th, 2010 at 3:42 pm Chutti Says:

    I just totally love that you said this!

    I am having a stressful time at work with other folks not meeting deadlines and commitments that adversely affect my clients (and by implication, my commissions). I didn’t feel as thankful as I wanted to on a family-full weekend. But have been trying to re-connect with kindness as a way to manage the stress.

    I have often said that a retail or restaurant apprenticeship of at least a year ( hey- everyone has to serve in the Israeli army…) would greatly improve our society. DH and I have both spent LOTS of time behind those counters and always try to empathize and connect with anyone helping us.

    Just had an experience this weekend where a family member didn’t want to tip for our large party because of something the CHEF did. No reason to stiff the server, thank Q. Of course, said person had never done a service job in her life….and it showed.

    I am happy to say that my mom (who has never had a service job, but did work for a big government service agency) always tries to talk folks out of using the self check line for the same reasons.

    Right on, and right back atcha! I needed to hear this today!

    Chutti

  2. On November 30th, 2010 at 11:31 am Not Blue at All Says:

    Oh! I am so glad that this struck a chord with you. I was having a not so great day and well, you just see things and want to scream. But yeah, I have friends who try to shirk tipping when it’s obviously not the server’s fault. I don’t let that shit fly, at all! Well, not when I’m there to witness it anyhow. While I consider myself new to food service, the audacity of people since opening my cafe has just floored me. And not just in the tipping department. I honestly believe that people have forgotten how to act when not in a major national chain.
    Thank you so much for commenting. =0)

  3. On November 29th, 2010 at 4:08 pm Twistie Says:

    So very with you on the question of people needing to work in retail through the holidays. I also think everyone should do at least one stint in food service of some form, too.

    I spent ten years selling books, and they were some of the best years of my life… but there were also some of the worst times ever. Dealing with arrogant, thoughtless, rude people bent on making sure I was too afraid of them to screw them out of their money (which really wasn’t what I was out to do in the first place) could make my life hellish.

    The good news is that the majority of my customers were unexceptional, and quite a few were really wonderful. I’ve been out of the game for about twelve years now, but there are customers I will remember for the rest of my life.

    Also, I had an awesome Thanksgiving, including the weekend afterwards which I spent eating leftovers while a friend got my well and thoroughly hooked on Criminal Minds. Grisly murder and pumpkin pie? Not a combo I would have thought of, but it certainly worked for me! Especially discovering Wesley Crusher wound up running a sort of low-rent Bates Motel.

    Yes, crossovers make me happy.

  4. On November 30th, 2010 at 11:33 am Not Blue at All Says:

    Oh yes! I did over ten years of straight-up retail (clothing & music mostly) and then several years in the corporate world. I am not sure which is worse! Ha! Some of my best years were at that music store (including hiring my husband for x-mas help!) and yeah, some of my worst! But damn if it doesn’t make you a better person! Ha-ha! My BFF used to be my boss (weren’t friends at the time) and was later my best man and his partner my “mo of honor” & officient. Just goes to show that you never know where life will lead you.
    Now what’s this about Will Wheaton? You have my full attention! Ha! *hugs*

  5. On December 1st, 2010 at 8:16 pm Nicole Says:

    I can totally see kindness as your religion. You are always super sweet and so positive. It is admirable!

    Lately I’m angry at just about everyone, hating the fact that is the holidays and I just want to be by myself so I don’t spoil things for everyone else, ha.

    I definitely think people should be more conscious and considerate of those around them. Personal interaction means nothing anymore. Everything is through the internet, texting, instant messaging… People sit and fiddle with their phones 24/7 as the go from A to B and don’t interact with the world around them. I’m totally guilty of this sometimes.

    It is the rudeness that kills me. People too worried about what they have to do that they will trample over others to get there. A complete stranger making a rude comment that has the power to ruin someones day. There aren’t a whole lot of people that focus on the positive anymore and it should be a priority. I don’t have a whole lot of retail experience but I try to be sensitive – it is a thankless job. “The customer is always right” mentality really annoys me – too many people take advantage of it.

    /end random rant

  6. On December 2nd, 2010 at 11:03 am Not Blue at All Says:

    I appreciate the rant. I endorse the rant. I love ranting and see it as a type of therapy! So, rant on!
    And thank you. It takes a lot of work to stay positive. I used to be the opposite of what you know and see today. I lived my life in a gloomy cloud of misery and wallowed in it freely. It took years of self-work and love from my friends and husband and now the FA community. And believe me, I’m not always so nice. But I have found that it benefits myself when I’m kind to others, too. So if it’s a selfish work, if it’s a mutually beneficial thing, so be it. Thanks. BTW: You are rocking my socks with your blog! I just don’t know how you create so much content. You’re amazing!

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