…Do not say it to yourself.”

This has got to be, not only my favorite, but possibly the most effective way to communicate self-acceptance, self-love and everything in between. It is so simple and clear! There are times when I have had some horrible thoughts of self-criticism and worse where I knew I wasn’t doing myself any good. Then I thought of the above fabulous message and snapped the fuck out of it! Other times I have heard some amazing people say some terrible shit to or about themselves and I have just been gobsmacked.

We all fall into the self-deprecation traps. We all have days where we simply don’t like ourselves. But when you re-frame these things with the above message in mind? Well, you’ll realize it’s futile and pointless and you’re only holding yourself back! So, stop it!

The next time some horrible thing pops into your head or spews from your mouth as yourself why? How is that helping/growing you? Would you say this to your best friend? Your pet? Would you allow someone else to say this to you? Your best friend? Would you get pissed off if you witnessed such a thing? Then you know it ain’t right and it’s time to knock it off!

Now some of you may be saying, “Yeah! Great! Now how do I stop?!” Firstly, you must be willing to accept the fact that perfection, no matter your individual concept of it, does not exist. It simply doesn’t! That’s that. Let it go, walk away. Next, you must be willing to accept that you are incredible and amazing and lots of people think so…Yes, of you! You are loved and you are lovely! So own that shit and rock it!

Not there yet? Fake it until you make it! Seriously! People always think this is bullshit, but it’s super not! I once took myself out to a very fancy lunch. When I got there though the place was empty. I was seated and served, but the place was vacant except for one server and the chef. This puts me on edge and I started to feel anxious and sad. I text my bff. Then I thought about my situation. I went to that restaurant for the pampering feeling one gets from fancy-special-tasty things. Why not do my best to enjoy it? So I pretended that I was a super celebrity that had to rent out the entire place so as to keep the paparazzi at bay! It worked! I loved it! Best lunch ever!

I knew I wasn’t a damned celebrity! I know now that I’m not. It’s not something I want to be…but in that moment it allowed me to enjoy what would have easily turned into a possible freak out. I ate my gorgeous gourmet panini and loved every bite! In fact when I was nearly done and a couple had been sat nearby, I held onto my celeb-pretending and put on my sunglasses before signing the bill and sashaying my way out the door. It can be that easy!

Find your inner goddess/vixen/sex kitten/runway model and work it! Smile bigger than you think you should! Make eye contact in such a way that you can feel your own sparkle! Exude awesomeness! When you walk into a room have your theme song in your head. Use it to boost yourself when you’re not feeling your best. Slap on something that makes you feel glam! I love lip gloss and eyeliner, but some spangly earrings do just as nicely. Not to leave out the dudes (do any dudes read this blog? Say hi, will ya?), put on some cologne (only one spritz, please) and give yourself an extra couple of minutes for your grooming or hair primping routine. Wear your lucky or favorite shirt/pants/underwear…rock it!

The point here is to engage your inner bad ass (aka: confidence) and use it even in small doses until you can just BE IT! Like the Rocky Horror Picture Show Song “Don’t dream it…Be it!” Because there are times when I know those stares aren’t at my bodaciousness…but it ain’t my fucking problem, it’s theirs! I will choose to live the life I want to now and not wait for society to say when it’s okay for fatties to get into the party pool! Fuck that! I will take a bite out of my own peach-of-a-life and let the juices run where they may!

Think about how you treat yourself and consider doing better…for you!