NotBlueAtAll

I'm just a fat gal with a blog and an opinion. Well, lots of opinions.

“I Guess Maybe I Was Having A Bad Day”

February28

I’m of the belief that we choose our attitude and reaction to things that happen to or around us. I believe this because I have practiced these choices in my daily life and have seen some incredible results first hand. I was formerly the worst “morning person” in existence. I now wake from my slumber in a state of general neutrality. I allow myself to experience the day before reacting to it or harboring any lingering bitterness or hostility. No matter how stressful life is, I do my best to take it in stride and remain hopeful for the future. I try to keep a cool head while remaining passionate about what matters most to me.

It’s true that I have a fantastic support system. My chosen family of prized friends are always there for me when I need them and I them. We check on each other and try to lift any down moods. When things seem off we rush into action to help whomever in our group is in need. We have seen each other through the worst of time and luckily some of the best, too. When all else fails, wine almost always works!

But yesterday? Yesterday was complete and utter shite! I slept like garbage, though I was beyond tired, I tossed and turned all night…the first time that’s happened in my new home. I cannot figure out why this happened, but I woke up in the foulest of moods. I felt very unlike myself, but somehow didn’t give a flying fuck about it! I got to work and instantly had to deal with things that I just couldn’t wrap my head around. Nothing made sense. Nothing worked. My patience was very close to non-existent! I admitted early in the day that I was “cranky” and later, down right “bitchy.”

Reflecting on this now of course, it all seems a bit ridiculous. We all have “bad days” and navigate them the best we can or want. I made no attempt on my own to see the “brighter” side of things nor snap myself out of the shit mood I was in. I just wasn’t having it. Luckily I have the amazing and wonderful Jeanette to text just about anytime I need to…and boy did I?! Ha-ha! Not only did she allow me to let off some steam, rant, vent and go off for really no reason, but she shared her own “Monday blues” with me and we were able to agree that the day was just a total load of bullshit.

Then she text me those magic words ever gal pal longs to read: “Want to come by after work? Have some wine?” And so I did! I went over to her apartment after work and we talked and had some lovely Moscato and laughed and just made each other feel like the “Powerful Goddesses” we really are again! This is what friends are for, y’all! That was exactly what I needed and I think she did, too. By the time I was ready to leave, I felt refreshed, relaxed, rejuvenated and ready to just be done with the day and start over fresh in the morning. And I have every intention of doing just that.

Sometimes, I guess, you just need a shite day. You just need to be in a crap mood and live in it a bit to appreciate all of those other normal and awesome days you know you’ll have again soon. I try hard (perhaps too much sometimes) to carry my inner bad ass with me in spirit, but today I would have bit my own bad ass’s head right off! I scared myself a tiny bit. I felt very near a “snapping” point yesterday and I didn’t like how easily I was willing to accept it. Exhaustion isn’t always easy to recognize, especially in one’s self. I was sore and beyond tired and just out of it! I see that now. But in the moment I just felt angry and tired. Not a good combo, I assure you.

“You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.” Truer words could not have been spoken. I don’t like me when I’m angry. I hope to avoid this terrible combination for at least the foreseeable future. But if it does arise again, I will be sure to do three things: text Jeanette, have some wine and take a damned nap! Ha-ha!

How do you deal with you own bad moods/days? Do you fight and try to snap out of it? Do you allow yourself to just be in a foul mood? I usually use music, but today it seemed only the fightin’-est songs were on the radio and in my CD player. Go figure.

Thank you for reading and sharing so much of yourselves here with me. =0)

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4 Comments to

““I Guess Maybe I Was Having A Bad Day””

  1. On February 28th, 2012 at 12:44 pm erylin Says:

    honestly yesterday was one of the worst days EVER for like 12 people i know. i too slept like crap, having been dealing with my new sudden onset med issues. and the day went down from there. i know i cried for like 4 hours yesterday, convinced nothing was ever going to go right again. several others i know had bad days too…..someone had their transmission blow, someone else didnt get a job they were trying for. Another had a rental car place blame him for damage that he didnt do to a car. All i can say is sometimes you HAVE to have a bad day to have the good. Today, the montain for health and hospital bills i have to climb now seems not so large after yesterday.

  2. On February 28th, 2012 at 3:14 pm Twistie Says:

    I usually let myself be in the dark place for a while. After all, there’s a reason there’s such a wide range of human emotion: we need it all, even the bits that aren’t fun or comfortable and sometimes open our eyes to things we hadn’t really noticed going on.

    So yes, I’ll let myself be miserable/angry, whatever I am and try after a little while to figure out why I’m in such a shitty mood. Is it something that can be fixed? Alleviated? Utterly changed? If so, then I set about figuring out how to change the situation to make me happier.

    If it can’t be changed right now, well, at least I know what’s bugging me and I can find ways to cope with the situation until there’s a way to change it.

    And sometimes I can’t identify what’s got me so in the dumps or so ready to bite heads off. That’s when I sing along to a couple Melissa Etheridge albums until I’m too worn out to be pissed off anymore, at which point I’ll put on a silly movie or TV show or read something that always makes me laugh, like some PG Wodehouse or a Saki short story (Tobermory is a favorite, because that’s just what a cat would be like if it could talk).

    Or else I’ll pull down my lace pillow and toss bobbins, because it’s a terribly Zen thing to do. Oh, and I just took up needle felting. That’s going to be a great emotion diffuser! It consists of stabbing wool over and over again with nasty sharp barbed needles until it becomes felt.

    Whatever is causing the feeling, though, I feel I need to do my best to figure out what it is and what to do with it first.

  3. On February 28th, 2012 at 6:37 pm SherryH Says:

    That sounds rough – I hope tomorrow is better for you! There’s a lot going on in your life right now, so I wouldn’t be surprised if some of that’s got you off-kilter.

    It’s not always the case, but frequently when I’ve found myself irrationally on edge or angry, way out of proportion to what’s going on around me, I’ve later found out I was just starting to get sick, or something else physical was going on – that night or the next day I started coughing and spiked a fever, or came down with food poisoning, or whatever.

    I don’t know if your body works the same way, but some self-care couldn’t hurt. Maybe some OJ for Vitamin C in case it’s a cold, or a long shower or soak in the bath, or some extra sleep?

    Also, it may sound silly, but I think the thing that helped me the most to deal with that bristly feeling was developing the self-awareness to realize that I was on edge and it wasn’t the fault of the people around me and I needed to keep that in mind and be extra-gentle with all of us.

    Hang in there!

  4. On February 28th, 2012 at 10:20 pm Jen Says:

    “Sometimes, I guess, you just need a shite day. You just need to be in a crap mood and live in it a bit to appreciate all of those other normal and awesome days you know you’ll have again soon.”

    This is true. No matter how great out attitudes on life are, the fact of the matter is, it’s normal to feel shitty, angry, sad, whatever, sometimes for no reason at all. Sometimes we just have to sit through it and do the best we can, you know? 😉

    I’m glad you got to unwind with your friend. Sometimes that’s the best thing!! <3

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