After all of these years on my own fat/self-acceptance journey and living my fat life out loud I am still struck by the fact that people sometimes don’t equate me with fat. Huh? Yeah, I know. On my own Facebook page I constantly bombard my friends with links and pictures of fat things and positive messages. I guess at some point I just assumed (silly me!) that everyone in my life understood I’m comfortable in my body and that fat is an okay word.
So, to my surprise, at my very own birthday party, a good friend whom I admire greatly, was talking about my roommate’s dog being fat as a bad thing. She said, “He’s cute, but he’s fat!” and I responded, “Hey! Ha-ha! You just described me! Ha-ha!” all smiles and laughter. She immediately replied, “I don’t see you as fat.” And I was stunned but said, “But I am! In fact, Fat is a source of empowerment and a badge of honor for me now.” It wasn’t what I really wanted to say but it’s what came out. she said, “I know” with a sad-sounding tone in her voice.
The thing is, how people see our bodies, how they see their own bodies, how they see fat bodies in the world differs greatly. We all see the world and ourselves and those we love through very different lenses and this can even change day to day. It is a fact of life that never ceases to amaze me. Our society, the weight cycling industry (previously referred to on this blog as the diet industry, but let’s face it their profits rely entirely on the loss and gain of the same fucking weight) and let’s not leave out those big powerful pharmaceutical companies, have left us all biased, hateful and full of judgement. This judgement gets placed firmly on ourselves and those we love and of course strangers!
Why? Because if you don’t know someone it’s way easier to judge them! I say fuck all of that! I am awesome and fantastic (just ask my friends) and I do not judge others by anything than their actual actions. I read this quote the other day, Donny Miller – “In the age of information, ignorance is a choice.” And I couldn’t agree more! I have no formal education. I have no GED. I have no degrees to speak of (except in being BAD ASS!!!) and I am comfortable with this finally. I know that I constantly push myself to learn more about the world and to connect with other people. My weight has nothing to do with that.
I choose to live the positive life that I do because it is what feels right for me. To each their own, I suppose. But I cultivate my life like a garden. When someone starts stinkin’ up the place with their negativity and/or judgments, then it is time to pull some weeds! I’m not saying that my friend who doesn’t see me as fat is a weed, not at all, what I am saying is that we must do and live the best we can with what we have. The universe gave me a fat body, I chose to live it up within it!
Let’s try this together. Stand up. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath in and then out. Again. Then put your hand on your heart. And sat out loud to yourself the following (only, use your name instead of mine):
I love you, Sarah.
You matter and are important and strong and loved.
I love you Sarah.
Now take another big deep breath in and let it all the way out. Open your eyes and see a brighter world waiting for you to take a big fat bite out of! YOU FUCKING ROCK! =0)
Thanks for reading. <3