I'm just a fat gal with a blog and an opinion. Well, lots of opinions.

Stop Lying!


I mean it! Stop it right now. Choose to never lie again. Or better yet (and more realistically), try not lying at all, to anyone, for one day. It’s not as easy as you might think. We are so lost in a world of socially acceptable lies that we forget what the truth even feels like on our tongues. I mean real and full honesty here. I mean no more “Oh yeah, that looks cute on you!” when you feel other wise. Then there’s the caveat of not being mean/rude! You can’t do it! You can’t be honest and rude, it feels wrong! You find you start to explain things differently. You find that people look at you funny at first and then come to trust you like no one else.

I stopped lying when I got sick of being lied to. Simple as that, really. I started with the one-day challenge and then tried a couple more, until I realized that it had been three weeks and so on. It’s fucking liberating, too! I always say that when you lie, even if the other person doesn’t know, you know. It will build up in you, that negativity, that intent, and you’ll suffer from it.

To stop lying is to lift a veil from your eyes. You will stop lying to yourself, too! Because I don’t believe that you can be your true, authentic self while still putting out that kind of negativity in the world or towards yourself. We hide behind lies. We disguise ourselves with them. We stop seeing the world in it’s entirety and only through our own interpretation of it through the lens of those lies. Crazy-talk? Maybe. But it’s worked for me.

Fat Acceptance/Body Acceptance/Self Acceptance has made me change a lot of myself, but on my own terms. We go about our journeys differently. I am regularly impressed, amazed and surprised (all positive) by what the world and life has to offer. None of it even seemed possible or plausible before I stopped lying all together. It makes me use my brain for good rather than bad, ya know? I feel like I’m not able to express it, but it was sort of a lock I had to find the key to in order to get beyond that old baggage and truly enjoy life again. And to find that key was to break free of social and familial obligations. To rise above the hate and anger out there and to work on myself and do my best to rid myself of those things in my heart, too. I hope this makes sense.


9 Comments to

“Stop Lying!”

  1. On May 18th, 2011 at 7:02 am E. Ai B. Says:

    …I can be honest and rude. lol. There are a select number of people who aren’t allowed to ask what I think of them, but other than that, having no comment/reaction works well. Agree with the lying thing though. Lying for no reason is a universal wrong. I was reading Nurtureshock, a parenting book, and it had a lot of material dedicated to why and how children learn to lie. It’s actually a rather complex set of things they have to learn to do it, like what is socially acceptable and how to feign that. Our world of social interactions is pretty bizarre. But being honest, it just feels better…

  2. On May 18th, 2011 at 7:59 am Not Blue at All Says:

    Oh but people do lie for no reason and for many reasons. I disagree with all of it. And my usual, “Manners are free, use then freely” covers most episodes of rudeness in my world, but I try not to preach. But like you said, it just feels better not to. And ya save so much time and energy, too! I always think of the episode of “The IT Crowd” when “Moss” is asked to come up with a lie and all he can think of are the most outlandish ones since he’s so not used to lying ever. Hilarity ensues.

  3. On May 18th, 2011 at 10:38 am Twistie Says:

    ZOMG! Mr. Twistie and I were just introduced to The IT Crowd a couple weeks ago and we are soooooooo hooked! Even though we’re flat broke, we’re seriously considering ordering every available season from Amazon or something.

    And isn’t Jen an abject lesson in why lying is a Bad Thing?

  4. On May 18th, 2011 at 10:52 am Not Blue at All Says:

    It is absolutely one of the funniest, if not the funniest, British comedy shows ever! This from a gal who was raised on are you being served, etc, etc…
    Moss is such a fab character, but then yesterday my husband and I looked up the actor and he’s actually a director, too! I love them all, honestly. I wish I’d caught onto it sooner, but thank Maude for Netflix instant watch! And yes, we’ve vowed to own it as well. It’s so re-watchable! I was completely satisfied with the ender as well, which is a rare thing indeed!

  5. On May 18th, 2011 at 1:42 pm fatfairy Says:

    I think a lot of people can’t, or don’t want to, even know the difference between the truth and a lie or between fantasy and reality. People just make up a fantasy or believe what they thought was what really happened, act like the fantasy is real, and create havoc and hurt people.

  6. On May 18th, 2011 at 1:44 pm Not Blue at All Says:

    Yep, pretty much. =0)

  7. On May 20th, 2011 at 3:45 pm Amanda Says:

    I grew up my whole life with my dad being a pathological liar and it is really hard at times when I just want to sit down to have a heart to heart with my dad knowing that half of the shit he tells me is crap. I often feel like I will never know my father, which makes me sad because I would like to be able to tell people about my dad and know what I’m saying isn’t crap. On the other side of things is he is the only person whose lying I gave up on caring about, because if you call him out on it he will deny that he either 1. Said it or 2. Meant what he said.

    For other people it just is annoying. My RM who I believe is going out to see her ex, keeps telling me she is going out to work on stuff, last week she left and I went out an hour later to run to the store. On my way back I happened to drive past the dunkin donuts she says that she is going to and her car wasn’t there. She then came home saying that she smells like donuts stating that she was there the whole time. I seriously don’t give a shit where she was, I just think it is stupid that she is lying. I know it stems from her feeling like she needs to hide her relationship with him, since he is an asshole, but I have never said a bad word about him or said she shouldn’t date him. Next time she does it I am going to leave and get some coffee from there so when she comes back I can ask her. End rant!

  8. On May 21st, 2011 at 9:11 am Not Blue at All Says:

    I know what you mean. My brother in law is a pathological liar as well. And then there are moments or hours or even days when everything is so awesome, and he finds a fucking way to screw it all up with his lies. He’d never cop to ’em. No matter how caught or outlandish. It’s sad. I want to believe he’s good inside and all, but I also feel like I’ll never truly know. He has a 10 year old daughter who lives on the opposite coast as him and I wonder if she will feel the same about him as you do about your dad.
    About your RM? Ridiculous! This is the type of lying I simply do not get. To each their own I suppose.

  9. On August 16th, 2016 at 1:03 pm NotBlueAtAll » Blog Archive » Step 4: Be Honest, Even When It Scares Them/You Says:

    […] and how liberating that is. I have heard this stuff over and over but it wasn’t until I stopped lying all together that it became invaluable to me. My world views have shifted and I see and think more […]

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