I'm just a fat gal with a blog and an opinion. Well, lots of opinions.

Out Of Nowhere…


…These two ladies came into the cafe and were full of joy and questions. I was happy to help as I always am, but something about these women struck me and I couldn’t help but start talking to them. I asked how they found my cafe and they said Yelp and that they just looked up good coffee in town. Then we started talking about their drinks and what types of milk I have on hand and such. The conversation diverted to near-diet talk! I said semi-humorously, “I should tell you that I don’t usually allow any sort of diet talk in here because I think it supports self-hate and certainly no one needs any of that!” and they were elated! We talked about nutrition and health and genetics and everything and then I told them about Fat Acceptance and my blog and then one lady wanted me to write it all down and then she wanted a picture with me! WOW! I wasn’t expecting that!

Out of nowhere life can surprise you, but it is amazing how something so small, a conversation, a smile, can lead to something so much greater than us as individuals. No one wants to hate themselves. No one wants to live in shame. And just sharing a tiny bit about myself and my passions and suddenly these women opened up to me and we had the best chat! And now? Now I know that at least one of them will be in touch and who knows? Perhaps I in this small gesture helped lead if not her then perhaps someone she knows to fat acceptance and this incredible community I am so grateful to be a part of.

I know that I can close myself off without warning and often times without realizing it myself. I am so glad that I didn’t do that today. I don’t know what’s gotten me out of my mental funk (I’m certainly still stressed out), but I am thankful that I was alert and present for these fabulous gals in my cafe.

Thank you!



posted under Blog, fat, Fat Acceptance
10 Comments to

“Out Of Nowhere…”

  1. On December 15th, 2010 at 10:50 am Twistie Says:

    What an inspiring story!

    You know, I’ve had moments like that where I could choose to say nothing or choose to offer a different perspective and the ones I regret are invariably the ones where I kept my mouth shut.

    Glad to hear that you’re in a better head space, too.

  2. On December 15th, 2010 at 11:06 am Not Blue at All Says:

    Yes! I know exactly what you mean and there is nothing worse then regretting not saying or doing something when you really wanted to. I am not always so forthright about my fat activism/blogging/etc, but sometimes I just cut loose I guess. It is my cafe after all. Ha!

  3. On December 17th, 2010 at 6:10 pm Toots Says:

    What a special experience.. I wish I were there! Good for you for speaking up and setting expectations on your cafe. Maybe some people would think that were too controlling or something, but I think it’s completely positive — even if it has a negative or severe reaction in the beginning.

  4. On December 18th, 2010 at 10:00 am Not Blue at All Says:

    Yes! And then yesterday, one of my regulars who hadn’t been in in awhile came in, and asked for sugar-free syrup! I had to do a double-take…was she joking? She wasn’t. Sadly. And when I said to her, “Hun, you know I don’t carry things with harmful chemicals.” she said, “Well, I’d rather have that then the calories!” all smiles. I was gob-smacked. I simply nodded and went about making her daughter’s grilled cheese. This is an intelligent woman, we’ve had many conversations about health and nutrition. I just don’t get it. But it just goes to show you that people would rather be thin than healthy. Ugh!

  5. On December 18th, 2010 at 10:08 am Toots Says:

    “Well, I’d rather have that than the calories!” D’OHHHHH >_< Healthy OR satisfied!

  6. On December 18th, 2010 at 10:12 am Not Blue at All Says:

    Exactly! I hate to think of how her two girls will grow up. Ugh!

  7. On December 18th, 2010 at 8:52 pm Kath Says:

    Isn’t it nice when that kind of serendipitous thing happens? I made a lovely new friend at a library conference when she admired my tights. We got talking about We Love Colors and blogging and then I mentioned I’m a FA activist and a light just went on between us. It was awesome.

  8. On December 20th, 2010 at 8:52 am Not Blue at All Says:

    It just goes to show that when you’re just you, no airs or worry, you can make amazing things happen!

  9. On December 20th, 2010 at 3:46 pm Chutti Says:

    Ahmmm…yes! This is what I was talking about when I called you courageous!

    It takes a lot of inner work and commitment to be authentic in public, especially in the work zone, even if it’s YOUR shop. It’s something I really strive for, but sometimes there is a lot of push back.

    I enjoyed seeing you get some good results in real time, and also to see you are feeling more positive. It’s important to see ‘the good guys’ win sometimes. Even more important to make those connections.

    I have a thing with a couple of looooong term friends where we won’t talk for a few years, then just happen onto the same track and pick up right where we left off. Just had a call with one the other day-we’ve once again gone through parallel emotional growth experiences and minor things put us back in touch.

    I’m rambling, but I really think it’s all a part of putting your authentic self out there, even when it is most difficult. Those serendipitous little connections we get seem to carry some extra power boost, you know?

  10. On December 20th, 2010 at 4:20 pm Not Blue at All Says:

    Wow, okay, thank you! And you’re right, it has taken a lot of inner work for me to be able to be myself wholly, regardless of venue. I can’t do it with my bio-family, but that’s part of the reason I’m not terribly close with them. And what’s funny is I have a friend, we’ve been friends (BFFs really) for over twenty years and every few years we “lose touch/don’t talk” for about a year. This last time it was two years. But we’ve both grow so much, I’m proud of both of us! =0)

Email will not be published

Website example

Your Comment:

Subscribe to my feed