I wanted to share with you a male fatshion perspective. What a breath of fresh air! And yes, he’s wearing white:

http://red3.blogspot.com/2010/07/fat-man-wearing-white.html

Fattastic! So elegant and classy! I certainly don’t want to objectify this man, whom I respect, but he could stop traffic in that suit! So very handsome. He’s also a fantastic FA blogger. Please, check out his blog!

I wanted to pass on this link from my good friend Stephanie’s blog: http://www.wasabimon.com/archive/skimming-the-surface-bad-dietary-choice/#more-2896

Today she posts about her struggles with her gluten allergy and how even the most well intentioned around us in the end, aren’t. I particularly identify with the part about patterns and how we often fall into them. She also offers some great advice and solutions. A great read! Please, pass it on!

=0)

Ask me anything at all:

http://www.formspring.me/notblueatall

Last night on my long drive home from work, I was listening to KPFA (as per my usual) and heard a report where they were talking about food banks and pantries and how the face of poverty is changing. The middle class is dwindling right into poverty and how we’re not prepared for this major change. There is an ordinance up for vote in Los Angeles that would make it easier for local business to donate foods that are still good without threat of legal repercussions. Basically, the food and safety regulations currently in place do not allow for this because of set time guidelines or other guidelines that dictate how long a certain food may be kept/stored/served. This is why grocery stores often have to throw out perfectly good food, if they didn’t they could be sued for a number of reasons. This new ordinance would cost the state/city/fed zero dollars and actually cut waste that would otherwise head straight to our landfills.

Well, all of this got me thinking about that changing “face of poverty” and an idea/image popped into my head that made me catch my breath, think and just feel pretty sick overall. I also think it’s a real thing and could happen and well, LA isn’t exactly the fat friendliest place on earth, but…

Can you imagine a fat standing in line for food at a food bank or soup kitchen? Would they be harassed? Would they be refused? I cannot imagine. I don’t know what it is like to have to rely on said food banks and pantries, but I am happy as hell that they are out there to help people who are food insecure. I had never heard that turn of phrase either: food insecure. I get what it means, but never heard it that way before. I mean, when I was a kid, I was just poor. My family never went on well fare or received food stamps, but we probably would have qualified and probably should have. Luckily we were often helped/supported by my grandma.

What about the mom trying to feed her kids? Is she going to be more reluctant because of her size? Doesn’t she work hard enough? Man, I just can’t fathom it. You know? But there are assholes out there who just make it their life’s mission to be a dick to any and all that they possibly can.

My thoughts, love and hope go with you!

If you’d like to hear the broadcast I heard yesterday:

It seems a lot of fatties have the same fears. I wanted to address this in a way that won’t get too serious and scary, but to just sort of start a discussion (Please feel free to comment).
I will admit to having to face my own fears in life. Spiders, for instance no longer bring out the scream and run reaction that they used to (I’m a big relocator of insects). Having gotten over this fear I realized that perhaps some of my other fears would be easily approached as well.

After beginning the Big Fat Summer Challenge I had to face some of my own fears. Going sleeveless in public was huge for me. I know I don’t seem it here, but I can be a very shy gal sometimes. I can also be a big mouth, but that’s a topic for another day. I had originally planned to wear a different strapless dress than the one I posted on this blog, but it was too big for me and it seems that the one I went with in the end worked out perfectly. I did bring a wrap, but only because the evening breeze in the East Bay can be unpredictable, and it ended up being quite chilly out.

A few years ago my husband and I took a vacation in Hawaii. On the travel site I booked it through there was mention of a helicopter tour of Maui. I really wanted to do it, but I was terrified of heights. Airplanes are still tough for me even after years of business travel. So a helicopter? Yikes! But I saw it as the perfect opportunity to tackle a fear of mine. But then another fear arose: they weigh each passenger before boarding! OH NO! I didn’t know how much I weighed at the time, but knew I weighed more than whatever their limitations were. So I emailed the company, swallowing my pride, and explained my situation. They were pretty cool about it actually, but I did have to buy another seat. My husband was very supportive and excited for our tour. I also posted to fatshionista on LiveJournal to get a feel for what other aftties might do in my shoes. They, too were very supportive and encouraged me to go for it.

Well, you would have thought I’d have been a mess, but I was cool. I was a touch nervous, but who wouldn’t be? So, we boarded and I had to sit in the back with these two older ladies and my husband sat in front with the pilot. It was amazing and beautiful! I didn’t get sick or freak out. I had the time of my life! My poor husband however got very motion sick and was not a happy camper. But he did get some great photos! Ha-ha!

I guess my point is that we share fears as humans, but as fatties well, there’s just a lot more for us to fear in the world. Not just going sleeveless or wearing shorts. But doing these things in public is tough! And the beach seems so much more scary when you’re fat. Not just because of the bathing suits/shorts situation, but you’re out there, exposed for everyone to see/judge/appraise. YIKES! I get it! That is one thing I have struggled with, too. Not to mention the squishies and creatures one encounters while swimming in the ocean (although in Maui I managed far better than here in Cali). And then there’s sand! Oh sand, you seem so benign! But you are such a foe to those with extra flesh and folds. Even between my toes I don’t like sand. I pretty much hate friction I guess is the bottom line. Ha!

As far as I feel that I have come in accepting myself, my size, my body, my shape, my pale skin…I still have those moments when my breath catches in my throat and I am not sure that I will survive whatever moment that has caused this reaction. Sometimes I am fully clothed and am hitting up a bar with some friends and suddenly twenty frat guys walk in rowdy and ready for confrontation. CRINGE!

Walking my sweet little pup each evening past oh so many beatiful houses in my neighborhood (I live in an apartment), I never know what I will encounter. Sometimes a car may pass by and shout at me or the wonderful time this woman screamed at me for five minutes about my pup pooping on her non-lawn (I was picking it up before she even pulled up) and continued to scream “Fat Ass Bitch” at me even though I was speaking calmly and rationally.

You cannot control the outside world. You cannot control your instinctual reactions. But you can control some things. Like when that woman was screaming at me and I smiled, took a deep breath and explained that I had already picked up the poop and showed it to her. Yes, I wanted to smear it in her face, but I’d rather not go to jail at the moment. When she was threatening me and sounding like a howler monkey I simply told her, “If you would like to talk to me like an adult, I am right here and I will talk to you.” (she was about 50 years old mind you.)

I think having that calm confidence is a great self-defense weapon. People don’t expect that from fatties. They expect us to cry and hide and be fearful. I’m not saying at all that we should use violence or anything like that. I am simply saying that sometimes it is so much better for ourselves to not even care what they think/say.

What are your fears as a fattie or non-fattie? Do you avoid certain activities or things because of a fear? I want to know all about it! Thanks for reading.