www.FattyAffair.Weebly.com

That can make you feel so friggin’ awesome!!!

Like Bright Blue Nail Polish (for the first time)!!! (Not really my nails, camera not cooperating)

New Lipsticks that look good and feel good, too:

Being anonymous in a random town

Being anonymous in a big city and just walking around like you live there

Friends! I have the most incredible friends, y’all!
They have so been there for me when I needed them lately and I cannot thank and love them enough!

My readers and commenters! I love you all! You amaze and inspire me everyday! You have touched me in some unexpected ways and I am so grateful to you for the time you spend on this blog. =0)

Today I found myself relishing in this new, but in-between space. The space between things ending and new things beginning. I catch myself trying to absorb details, taking in smells and people’s faces like never before. I don’t mind my own company, but welcome others, too. I talk and listen easily and spoke with a man (who may or may not be homeless) about a book he “wrote” and needs someone to type for him (it’s only audio at the mo). I told him I was about to start my book and he had the biggest smile, “A fellow writer!” I held the door for him to the library as I made my way through. I wondered what his name was and what his book might be about, but before I could ask he was already on his way and chatting with the security guard in a familiar way.

I was dropping off flyers for Fatty Affair at some local colleges and while I always felt out of place in academia before, I don’t anymore. I feel comfortable strolling around and smiling at students and faculty. And why shouldn’t I? I think this space between old and new, end and start, shedding and finding, is a good thing for me to experience. It’s given me a new power of perception and a drive to explore the world with these new eyes. I wandered into an art gallery and bought myself a couple of trinkets. Chatting with the guy as I paid for them, he invited me to come back and check out some cheap/free events they have coming up. Art! How I have missed you?! The community of art is so beautiful to me and attractive!

I walked away from it years ago out of financial necessity, or so I thought. I see now that it was partially fear. I used to fear meeting new people. It sounds silly to me now that I go out of my way to do so. That I gain so much from each new experience. Being vulnerable freaked me out. Now I can see the beauty and value in that. I don’t mind being so open and so raw with people. I am finding it easier to be this way. I don’t want to live with my guard up anymore. I have missed out on too much because of it. I don’t want to live in fear of the world and it’s evils. They are there, I am aware and cautious, but I won’t hide myself away because of them.

I don’t know what each new day will bring into my life or teach me, but I am open and willing to all that comes my way. I want to live my life on my own terms. No more per-conceived notions and prejudices. No more old habits and ways. I’m done. I want to live in the moment. I’ve said this before. It’s a difficult thing to achieve. The mind wanders so easily and dwells on the familiar and repeated. My obsessive nature threatens to return full force but thus far I have managed to keep it at bay (with the exception of music which is very healing, so wev).

As I am about to place my feet firmly on the ground on which I will pave myself (so to speak) and find a new path and continue my journey towards the unknown, I can only hold dear all who have been dear to me. I can only be willing to work and to strive and to do right by myself and others. Perceptions will change and I will too. I will be mindful of my actions and my own needs. There is so much more I want to say and do and experience. I can never let go of my past completely, but I can take with me the lessons I have learned as a result. What more could I hope for?

My independence will be it’s own reward, I hope. Any regrets are my own, too. I know that I am strong and can get through anything. I have carried the weight of the world on my shoulders and finally found a way to put it down again. I no longer feel compelled to do and be everything to everyone. I can only be me. I’m getting better at that part. Just being me and doing what I want to do? That is all I plan on. The rest is up to the universe.

This week is so nuts for me, I need to hit pause and breathe but scientists haven’t invented said button yet. Probably getting paid to come up with a new weight loss pill, the bastards! Ahem!

So this Saturday is Fatty Affair! I am a bundle of emotions! I am nervous and excited and I feel so loved and supported…but it’s such a whirlwind I feel out of control, too! I have some news to share with you lovelies, but it will have to wait. Everything has to wait until after this event. It means so much to me and I can’t believe the people who have committed to coming and participating and performing and speaking! OMZ!!! I feel like that proverbial headless chicken!

I am most excited about my outfit! How shallow?! I know! But y’all, it’s a beauty! It’s like nothing I’ve ever worn before and I’m so glad for that! This year is about new things, no matter how scary they may be, coming into our lives or just giving us a little boost when we need it…and when do we not need it?! Ha-ha! I have already been through so many ups and downs and it’s still only fucking January! This year? This year is the year of the bad ass! I am declaring it now!

If you’re in the San Jose, California area this Saturday, I want to see you! I want to meet you! I want to belly bump with you!

This community has given me so much! I am so happy that I can finally do something to show my gratitude and hopefully expose some new folks to our wonderful movement. I also want to say that if you’re sick of not having any fat events in your area, as I did, take that shit into your own hands and create it! You just have to stop giving a damn and just start doing things! That really is all it takes! I didn’t even have to ask for help, it came to me! People want this stuff and want to be a part of it, too!

Thank you for being in my life. Thank you for being you! Now let’s all get out there and kick some ass! <3

And now for something completely different…

So last week for work I got to go to the Fancy Food Show in San Francisco! It’s a little hard to describe, but let’s see what I can manager here:

Picture a giant arena, but rather than a stage and endless seating, think exhibition booths…for food! Like all the kinds of food! It’s colorful and magical and aromatic and wondrous! Everyone is having a good time, everyone is chatting and mingling…it’s like a giant party for snacks! Well, more than snacks, I mean just everything! It’s not all sweets, so it’s not like Wonka’s pad, but that vibe for sure! I was there representing HappyGoat Caramel and giving everyone samples. I probably talked to a thousand people.

I wasn’t feeling my best the first day of the show, but the last day I felt great. I took a lunch break and just walked around the international section…completely blissed-out! Like, seriously? I still have a smile on my face! I had a bit of this and a cup of that and a taste of delicate little those and it was all so lovely! I felt like a friggin’ princess! Forgive me, but it’s true! I felt fabulous, like a dream! The Moscato sample really helped (my fave)! Then ravioli fresh out of the skillet with spinach and ricotta filling and freshly shaves Parmesan…served by a lovely and smiling Italian man! I mean? What the fuck more could you want out of life?! Ha-ha!

Actually, people watching was the most fun for me. It’s like shopping because so many people and so many styles and styling, but also, I am in a head space where nearly everyone is majorly attractive to my eyes! It’s nice, believe me! Ha-ha! I felt like I was getting paid to flirt and offer people candy! Technically that is pretty much it, but it sounds so salacious! Ha-ha! I love it! I can handle salacious! Anyhoo, food! I didn’t even try that much stuff, honestly. It was a feast for the eyes as much as anything else. Just amazing!

The best part was watching people’s faces as they tried our caramels and sauces. They’d come up to the booth with their poker face and turn dreamy and childlike. It’s like you’re watching them frolic in their happy place in their heads! To make someone feel that simple joy? It’s a special moment, y’all, truly! I enjoyed chatting and flirting and laughing and having a great time with them all. Food is such a memory inducer and bonder (is that a word?) of people. You know what they’re tasting and understand what they must be feeling…even when they get all “notey” about stuff (like wine talk with the notes of this and the nose of that) I love it! They geek out and I smile and soak it up!

The title of this post is from a Taiwanese snack company. It’s the slogan on their fruit flavored soft candy packs. It has this cute little girl on it. Like this one, only in pink with strawberries and stuff:

Anyway, it was a lot of work and a lot of fun. The city was blustery and cold and I couldn’t wait to get out of their after the long days. Everyone loved our products and it was a blast to see so much cool stuff and people, too! What an experience?!