NotBlueAtAll

I'm just a fat gal with a blog and an opinion. Well, lots of opinions.

Universe: You Are On Notice!

June20

Just enough already! Stop it! Leave us alone will ya? I mean it! You are on notice, Universe! I can’t take anymore. My friends can’t take anymore. Nobody can handle another problem in their lives right now because our plates are already fucking full of your nonsense!

Is it just me or does it feel like everyone’s lives are imploding at the moment? These last couple of weeks have knocked me for a loop over and over and I’m fucking done with this! I don’t know what else I can handle physically, let alone mentally or emotionally. Seriously, I don’t know anyone that isn’t smack in the middle of a shit storm right now and I’m calling shenanigans on the whole thing. It must end NOW!!!

Is it planetary? Is it global climate change? Hormones? Politics? I don’t even care. Just stop it! Stop it all right now. Let’s all stop and take a deep breath and reach for that universal pause button because if this shit continues there won’t be much of us left to keep fighting the good fight, ya know? Ugh!

So let’s all vent our problems and angers and frustrations and you name it in comments and get this shit off of our collective chests together!!! I am a firm believer in venting, ranting, shaking my fist at the clouds…whatever to relieve that awful feeling of overwhelm-a-tude! Check out Joolie’s post today on dealing with Migraines. I felt it was very apt for today’s topic. He-he.

So here’s my vent/rant:

I have worked so fucking hard for so fucking long that I don’t remember what an hour lunch break even feels like anymore. I am at a point in my life now where I thought I had all of my shit together and the only missing piece was a reliable income. Ha-ha! I’m a damned fool! Little did I know that my relationship is on the brink. Fuck! And my business. And and and…Fuck you!!! I’m done! I cannot handle anymore. When I’m not running and struggling to keep the cafe open, I’m running and struggling to keep in touch with my friends or being a shoulder for so many others. All the while being constantly insecure about my relationship suddenly after 13 years.
||PAUSE||

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28 Comments to

“Universe: You Are On Notice!”

  1. On June 20th, 2011 at 11:05 am maggiemunkee Says:

    one of my very best friends is behaving very poorly, and treating me very poorly in the process. from someone whom i love so dearly, who professes to love me dearly… it is hard. very hard. and i, too, call shenanigans.

    i’m going to see her tonight for the first time in A MONTH to talk about it.

  2. On June 20th, 2011 at 11:12 am Not Blue at All Says:

    Oh I’m so sorry to hear that. I hope you two can work it out. You will be in my thoughts. <3

  3. On June 20th, 2011 at 11:30 am TheNeighborUpstairs Says:

    First, I’m sorry that you are so deeply under attack from the universe. I encourage you to duck, cover, and then rise up and kick ass, as I know you are entirely capable of!!!

    Thanks for being the voice for so many of us and putting it out there. And putting it into perspective. I often forget that I am not the center of the universe nor the sole target of its attacks and reading about your own challenges reminds me to be conscious of this.

    I hope that the universe is listening and shaking in fear and does indeed “stop it”!!!

    I’d like the universe to relinquish its hold over my relationship. I hate that he moved, I hate living in one time zone when my heart and mind is in another. I hate having found the love I deserve only to have it pulled out from under me.

  4. On June 20th, 2011 at 11:32 am Not Blue at All Says:

    Thank you, you’re a doll! <3
    I'm sorry he moved, too. You seemed so happy and I know you tried your best not to show it, but when we went dancing I could tell your heart wasn't in that club that night. No worries. I know how that feels, too.
    Dayum! When are us awesome & badass ladies gonna get some f-ing love and respect?! (And for keeps/good this time!)

  5. On June 20th, 2011 at 11:34 am Jade Says:

    I’m currently suffering from food insecurity because I have to pay some fees people on wellfare don’t have to pay but I’m a student and currently don’t get any social money. even though I have less money than people on wellfare (I’m from germany)
    so currently I’m pretty much relying on my family and friends whenn it comes to food

  6. On June 20th, 2011 at 11:36 am Not Blue at All Says:

    Thank you for sharing your story here. *Hugs* I hope things get dramatically better for you soon! <3

  7. On June 20th, 2011 at 11:40 am Jade Says:

    but reading your stories really shows how it always happens all the same time. hope things turn out all right for everyone who is bothered by the universe*hugs*

    (also, the universe could do some good and wrack the computers of the gez so they forget about wanting money I don’t have -.- )

  8. On June 20th, 2011 at 11:45 am Not Blue at All Says:

    Okay Universe, kill those GEZ computers, now! *zap*

  9. On June 20th, 2011 at 12:41 pm minie Says:

    Well said, FUCK OFF UNIVERSE! I’m so darn fed up of everything; from not having a fucking decent wage rise, not being moved one level up on said wage scale, on not getting the position I was longing to have at my job, from suffering my ass off on the loss of my ex-boyfriend who all of a sudden started to write to me again, from the loss of my current lover I could not be with because of his age, from feeling like a fucking fatty mcslowpoke with terrible feetache all the time, from not knowing how to drive and being afraid, from having a father who doesn’t understand a fuck about me, from having an aunt slowly killing herself with huge doses of antidepressants, from having my grandma dying because of said aunt, and everything in between! FUCK THAT, FUCK EVERYTHING, LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE UNIVERSE!! I deserve something else than this motherfuckin bullshit!!!!!!

    whew. End of rant. Thank you for giving me a space to explode.

  10. On June 20th, 2011 at 12:49 pm Not Blue at All Says:

    *BigFatHugs* Let it all out! Middle fingers to the sky! F-U Universe, Give us all a break!

  11. On June 20th, 2011 at 4:59 pm minie Says:

    *fathugs back* forgot to say, I feel for you and I’m sorry that you are going through such a rough patch… hang on, we will all raise and kick the Universe’s ass!

  12. On June 21st, 2011 at 9:20 am Not Blue at All Says:

    Thanks, doll.

  13. On June 20th, 2011 at 7:27 pm Ashley Says:

    I found out last week that I didn’t get a job I desperately wanted. I know they only interviewed two candidates, and I was absolutely sure that I was the better of the two candidates and the perfect fit for the position. I thought that if they didn’t hire me, they would just not hire anyone because I was that sure I was a better fit than the other candidate. So then yesterday I found out that they offered it to the other person. This has really knocked my confidence, that if I couldn’t get this job, the job I was such a great match for, I’m not sure I can get the type of job I want at all. This is the 15th job I’ve applied for this year and the first time I’ve gotten an interview. That said, I try to be grateful that I do currently have a job and that some of my current coworkers are nice, cool people.

  14. On June 21st, 2011 at 9:22 am Not Blue at All Says:

    I know how that feels. That sucks. I spent the better part of two years out of work. Interviews became my job! Ugh! Terrible times. Glad you have cool co-workers though. Thank you for sharing your story here. =0)

  15. On June 21st, 2011 at 4:57 am psycho sue Says:

    When stress gets you baby: Brandy and a cigar does wonders to help the universe to fuck off =-D Go do something you enjoy for an hour too. why the hell not? we all could die today, or tomorrow baby, so LIVE. Don’t let a little bitch like the universe get in your way. Sell that damn cafe or get a partner maybe?

  16. On June 21st, 2011 at 9:23 am Not Blue at All Says:

    Thanks hun. Been trying to sell it but people are a bunch of liars and flakes. What can I do? Eh. I’m feeling better today, but shit it’s too hot out! Ha-ha! Always something. Wow, you like the strong stuff?! <3

  17. On June 21st, 2011 at 7:12 am Amanda Says:

    =0( I am at war with whatever is going on right now right beside you! Seriously I’m just ready for life to be easy…but I’m beginning to believe that is reserved for people who have unicorns as pets and live on rainbows and shit.

    hug. =0)

  18. On June 21st, 2011 at 9:25 am Not Blue at All Says:

    *Hug* I don’t know about that. I don’t think life is “easy” on anyone per se, but it certainly depends on what problems they have to deal with. I know 90% of my problems are financial. I could handle the other 10% with my eyes closed if I didn’t have to stress about the other 90%. Oh well. What doesn’t kill us, right?! Love ya, doll! <3

  19. On June 21st, 2011 at 7:55 am Hell's Bell Says:

    THANK YOU for this post. I needed to know that some peeps are as fucked as I am. I am a firm believer in “it could be worse”, but I gotta say, I’m not sure it has ever been worse for me. These are the things I need to say “FUCK OFF” to.
    -My husband has not held a steady job in over a year and is not pissed off about it and has no fire in his belly. He lets me carry ALL the muthafuckin burden and I have run out of resources to be able to handle this.
    -Because of lame husband, I will either have to give up my car, home or utilities. And there is not a damn thing I can do about it.
    -Because of LAZY husband, I cannot provide for the needs of my 12 year old daughter and have to send her to live with my sister for the summer. So that she can find some peace, be provided for, have some damn fun and enjoy her summer. No 12 year old should have to deal with what she has had to endure over the last 12 months.
    -I feel like a TOTAL piece of shit for not being able to take care of my baby and I will miss her so much. She’s not even gone yet and I already miss her. She is the bright spot in my life.
    -I have Occipital Neuralgia (totally AWFUL headaches) that are triggered by stress. No amount of pain meds, muscle relaxers, Xanax, anti-depressants or beer is making it go away. My stress level is off the charts.
    -I am angry, resentful and feeling some major HATE for the situation that my husband has put us in. Fucking lazy no-account asshole. I love him, but I can’t fucking stand him right now.
    -I was having an affair to distract me from the shit storm that is my life. I know, I know. Stupid. It ended and I still have to see his SILVER FOX ass everyday because we work together. His office is RIGHT next to mine.
    -SILVER FOX smells so damn good and I wish he would run out of that stupid Burberry sex panther he insists on wearing.
    -Today, my eyes are so puffy from the insane amount of crying I did yesterday. And I had no Prep H on hand at home to apply to them this morning to reduce swelling. Fuck balls!
    -I have a church thing tonite (Yes, Christians swear.) that I DO NOT want to go to. It always just ends up being a bitch session and I do not leave feeling lighter and more enlightened. But she is serving dinner. And I am broke. And need dinner.
    -I don’t want to go home after work. Ever.
    -I haven’t gotten laid since around Mother’s Day.
    That’s all I got. Or all I can muster without feeling suicidal (not literally).
    Thanks for letting me vent.
    I hope all of the things that all of you are dealing with are just tests. Tests that, once passed, will bring forth MUCH joy, prosper and peace. Hang in there sisters!

  20. On June 21st, 2011 at 9:35 am Not Blue at All Says:

    You are always welcome to vent here. Even if it is unrelated to the post, just put “Vent:” in front of it! No worries. =0)
    I feel for ya hun, I do. But it does seem like you are stressing yourself out more than you need to. And that can’t be helping the headaches one bit. I know what it feels like to not want to go home, ever. Truth is though, the job market is in the shitter and even if your guy was out there every single day applying for work, he probably wouldn’t get many offers. I don’t wanna make it sound worse, but it’s the state of our nation at the moment, ya know? But He should be upset about it. We all should! And we should be calling our congresspeople and attending city counsel meetings to try to take back the power and have an actual impact on our futures. Just sayin’! I actually think your daughter getting time away will help all involved. It’s hard for you, but at least you won’t have to worry about every meal and such. *Hugs* There is hope, there is reason to go on and there is always something worth fighting for!

  21. On June 21st, 2011 at 9:36 am Amanda Says:

    I know most of mine is the financial stress of not knowing about having a steady job. I’m thinking about applying at fedex for 2 reasons. 1. Since I could totally get a job there, and get steady money. 2. I could get a discount on printing stuff for LYBD (Which would ROCK!) lol.

    I just keep repeating in my head. “Everything works out in the end. Everything works out in the end.”

  22. On June 21st, 2011 at 9:38 am Not Blue at All Says:

    Sounds like a decent opportunity, hun! Go for it! You can do it! <3

  23. On June 21st, 2011 at 9:49 am Amanda Says:

    I might be a copy shop girl ha!

  24. On June 21st, 2011 at 9:54 am Not Blue at All Says:

    Hey, that could be a dream and hey…No food jerks!

  25. On June 22nd, 2011 at 7:29 am Shieldmaiden1196 Says:

    This time last year I was waking up every morning to go to a job I hated. Felt sick, that was my good morning every single day. One day while I was driving there I thought to myself, ‘If I get laid off, I’m going to take the summer off and enjoy it.’ Two hours later I was driving back home with all my shit in a box. I spent three and a half years there thinking I had to stay because the money was good. Now I make less money and I’ve never been happier. But I spent a fair amount of time driving and crying and thinking to myself “I really need something good to happen”.
    As someone who has just climbed out of a long dark place, just wanted to encourage you that the good will come.

  26. On June 22nd, 2011 at 7:54 am Not Blue at All Says:

    Thank you! Lovely story, actually, thanks for sharing it here. Yes, there is hope! But we also always need that little bit of encouragement to help keep us going. So, thank you for that, my dear! <3

  27. On June 23rd, 2011 at 5:26 am Joolie Says:

    Gah! I’m sorry shit’s so damn implode-y. A few years ago, I was going through one of those times, and I was convinced that I was karmic-ly fucked. I was a pizza delivery driver at the time, and working day shift. I was pleading with god, buddah, satan, the flying spaghetti monster–anyone who would listen–to give me the opportunity to do something good so I could at least feel like I was trying to right the ship. I snapped out of my reverie and noticed a funny lump in the road about 50 yards ahead. I slowed down and saw that it was a HUGE turtle, just hanging out in the middle of the road. I pulled over, grabbed my mini-tarp (gotta be prepared for tire changes, lol), tossed it over him, wrapped him up, set him in the passenger seat, and drove him to the nearest lake. I talked to him for a minute and smoked a cigarette with him. He wandered off and so did I. I got back to the store and my boss was like “What took so long?” I told him and he said “Cool, that’s what I would have done.” The whole thing felt like a giant weight lifting. Sometimes you just gotta ask for what you need, yaknow?

    I’m currently caught in a whirlwind of hurry-up-and-wait. And believe me, I’m not complaining in the least, because it’s all pertaining to the opening of our shop. None of us have ever opened a brick-and-mortar business before, so our ducks get out of a row with a quickness sometimes. But OMG, just over a week until we get to start moving in to the storefront!

  28. On June 23rd, 2011 at 8:23 am Not Blue at All Says:

    1.) That is a cool ass story. Thank you for sharing it with me here.
    2.) Holy shit! Congratulations! I am glad to hear you’re not going it alone (as I did). What kind of store? So exciting!

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