How is it only Thursday?! This week has been such a roller coaster of emotions. Boo! Exhausting stuff, this emotions having business. Can we all just pretend that today is Friday? No? Damn!
So, the big job I wanted so badly, the one I interviewed for on Monday…I did not get. It was a bit devastating as it felt so right. It was the first time a job had emailed me just two hours after an interview to say that they went with someone else. Top that off with discovering that my current job is ending much sooner than expected and I wasn’t just down in the dumps, I was hysterically crying and swimming in the sewer of feelings.
I had a mini freak out. I went from feeling everything is possible and that job would be the solution to most of my problems to feeling as though I would die tomorrow. Yeah, I’m melodramatic, I know. But suddenly the one thing I always thought I had was gone; the luxury of time. I have been looking for a new job since the December. How did it get to be mid-March already? *Sigh*
I was having my mini freak out on Facebook (I don’t recommend it) when some friends began insisting that I join them for dinner. My interview make up running down my face, I protested that I could not be in public in the state I was in, but thanked them for their kindness. Their response was a firm, “We are coming over with pizza and booze!” I fought and fought, my phone even crashed…twice! But still, these amazing friends would not be deterred and even threw in a “Stop being so stubborn, we know how to pick locks!” to which I finally relented.
They showed up, I allowed them only one look of pity in my general direction, and then we all hugged and ate pizza and drank hard cider and talked. It was lovely! We caught up on the goings on of my personal life and how things have been and all. I shared my confusion over the after-interview communication and even made plans to see each other more this very week!
By being there for me in a very difficult moment, by insisting on not only giving me the love and support I needed, but by showing up at my house they showed me that I’m not alone at all. I’m loved and cherished. Oh sure, not by everybody, but “everybody” isn’t as smart as my tribe of weirdo-genius-friends. Sometimes it’s necessary to have a good cry. Sometimes I like just chilling at home with a bottle of two-buck-Chuck and a big salad. Yet somehow these fab friends knew that wasn’t the best time for me to be on my own. They were super right!
And I have been thinking about this all week. As I have created space where I felt it was needed and began to once again look at who is in my life and why, I have a new found appreciation for those I wouldn’t have previously considered myself close to. Yet somehow? They just knew I needed them. I have always been in awe of these friends, still am, but I also feel so very special for having them in my life. I have discovered that you can’t always trust what is simply “known” or taken for granted.
People change, relationships change, our needs change and over time what once was isn’t there at all anymore. If we’re so caught up in our daily struggles it becomes difficult to maintain those relationships, let alone nurture them. I’m seeing this all around me lately. New friends are proving themselves to be great confidants and old ones, um, not so much. Ha! To know that amid this chaos I have people who do care and insist on being there for me even when I fight it like mad, and win? They are keepers!
Here’s to keepin’ on when keepin’ on ain’t easy! Here’s to my finding a new job…SOON! (Have another in-person interview tomorrow morning!) Here’s to good people and good times! Here’s to you and me and everyone and creature and thing on this planet! No matter how hard or how tough, “Baby it ain’t over ’til it’s over…” <3