I am grateful for my body. It is in a lot of pain right now, and I’m even grateful for that. I am grateful for every roll, bump, lump, blemish, fold, wibbly-wobbly bit and all. I have pushed my fat body and stretched it and did my best to heal and rest it this weekend. Dance rehearsals are going very well and today I am feeling the results of all the work we did yesterday.
I experienced that mythological high folks often said they get from running or whatever. After dance rehearsal I felt high! I was focusing on driving and hydrating, but I tell you what: I was floating! Kind of cool, though. I can’t say that I’ve had that happen before.
The best part was that I felt that I could keep going. I am glad that I didn’t, mind you, because I’d surely be feeling worse today if I had. Luckily B was available for a massage (I’ve mentioned here that he’s a CMT, no?) and good Zod did that help so much! Mostly I’ve got this odd heel pain that has me moving slowly today. It’s manageable and again, I’m grateful that my body can handle what I’ve thrown at it lately.
Last week was made of suck. The brightest spots were the four dance rehearsals. Moving does make me feel better. Dancing makes me feel the best. I’d mostly hidden myself away in my cave of sadness and wine. Every time I’d poke my head out, I swear something bad or terribly disappointing would occur, so I would just stay in.
I’m now doing my best to not think about my problems. I’m just trying to focus on the very moment that I am in. Breathe in, breathe out, repeat. The pain actually helps to remind me to stay in the present. Thinking about the end of my employment and what the fuck I’m going to do, well, that will have to wait. I have spent far too much time crying and being sad and then feeling like I am not allowed to have those feelings. Ugh!
Today is for my body. Today is for gratitude. Today is for today. 🙂