“I shall allow no man to belittle my soul by making me hate him.” ~Booker T. Washington
I saw the above quote on Tumblr.com yesterday and it got me thinking very specifically about what “this time of year” brings out in people. Suddenly simply eating a regular meal becomes a teachable moment weather you like it or not. Holiday meals are now a spectator sport. Everyone must tell you or anyone within earshot how they simply “can’t indulge or I’ll be on the treadmill for the rest of my life!” And everyone has something to say about somebody else. Ugh!
First, fuck gossiping about people. Period. Second, since when what you or I do with our respective bodies is it anyone else’s business or concern?! End it immediately. Diet talk? BORING! Change the subject! Depending on the situation, be blatant about it! “So, how about those Lakers?!” When everyone knows I don’t care about sports…you get my drift?
You are under no obligation or social contract to listen to or deal with this stuff. You have every right in the world to say, “Excuse me but your topic of conversation is ____.” That blank? Boring, offensive, making me uncomfortable, wrong, over-sharing…whatever it is you are thinking or feeling. You’re thoughts and emotions are valid! Don’t let anyone try to insist otherwise. Because sadly, they probably will.
If you haven’t managed to avoid the holiday advertising you may want to brace yourself for the coming onslaught of resolution ads. I do think that those are the worst ones of all! Those and the “bikini body” bullshit ones. When someone asks what your resolution is, why not tell them it’s no longer dealing with nosy assholes? Ha-ha! Instead of resolutions, why not offer positive revolutions?! Celebrate all things YOU! Why the fuck not?! I mean, even when times are tough, and I know that they are, you gotta simplify and just do You!
But let’s all agree to not let these fuckers get to us. We won’t sink to their body judging levels. We will not feel shame or guilt for simply eating a damn meal! Food is not our enemy, it can just stay theirs. We will not engage in body talk of any kind, even what would be deemed “positive.” Do not comment or even acknowledge weather or not someone has lost weight. Don’t let the bastards get you down, no matter what. They will try and they will test you, but you are strong and amazing and you can do whatever you want! Hating someone allows them to get the better of you. Why waste energy on such a person? By remaining calm and cool and shrugging off their hate, ignorance and cowardice will only serve to show that you are the better/more positive person.
If you need support, we are all here for you. I am here for you. You matter. You are worthy. You are loved. You are a multifaceted individual. You know what is best for you. Trust yourself and your body. Listen to your heart and don’t second guess your gut/intuition. Stay safe. Stay true to you. Don’t take crap from anyone. Love yourself just as you are right NOW.
I’ll leave you with my fave quote of all time:
“Kind words can be short and easy to speak but their echoes are truly endless.” Mother Theresa
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