NotBlueAtAll

I'm just a fat gal with a blog and an opinion. Well, lots of opinions.

Sometimes.

May9

Sometimes. Nothing is constant. Nothing is permanent in this world. Nothing in our lives is permanent. We are and always will be in flux. Yet our instincts tell us to hold fast to things, to grasp at stability, to fear change and the unknown and to do everything in our power to stay just so. It’s ridiculous. It isn’t natural. Yet, throughout human history, it is how we’ve become what we are today.

Sometimes our health changes. Sometimes our bodies change. Sometimes our economic situation changes. Sometimes we lose something and other times we gain. In the end, we must stay true to ourselves. It is when we lose sight of what matters most to us that we spiral into fear and misery. We panic when things change too rapidly. We forget to breathe normally. We forget to care for ourselves and our bodies. We forget. We get so caught up that we simply forget. What other animal acts this way?

We are ruled by our emotions and our situations. We are so far removed from nature that we forget that PineSol doesn’t actually smell like a real pine tree. We forget to enjoy the quiet moments. We forget to share our love and compassion with each other. We live with regrets. We carry guilt and sorrow within our hearts and we let them weigh us down, sometimes forever. We forget to be kind. We get frustrated and angry at and about things that don’t matter at all.

We attempt to govern time itself yet are constantly grasping for one more minute, hour, day…We wonder what is it all for, what is the purpose or meaning of life, anyway? If going to work to put a roof over our heads and food on our tables isn’t what it’s all for then why do we do it? Why do we live this way and accept it as such? We day dream and we long for another life or another time with the hopes of life being more simple. We insist we can give up certain creature comforts and we’ll spend less and consume less and just be better people. But it’s never quite that simple, is it? We end up exactly where we started. We chase our proverbial tails and often don’t even realize we’re doing it. We complain when things go wrong, or so we believe them to be, and we complain when they are too right or too boring.

We grow suspicious of one another and can never truly seem to be at peace with anything, but especially ourselves. We struggle and we fight and we don’t always know what for or why. But we keep doing it and rarely even question it. I think we get so caught up in living that we forget how to actually live.  We forget that those quiet moments matter and that chaos can be beautiful. We should be stepping outside the lines and questioning everything. We should declare and share our love and give kindness and expect nothing in return. We should live because to not live our lives authentically is to die each day in obscurity. When we allow the light of love in our hearts we remove the veil of hate and misery from our eyes and can see, maybe for the first time, that that is all that matters. That when you can see the true heart of another human being you just know why it is that we are here, together. When someone bares their soul to you, it is up to you to accept it or to turn away. It takes a bit of bravery to accept it and perhaps even more to follow suit. But the rewards are incredible. The lives we touch and the wonders of this world are infinite. If only we could open our eyes to see them. If only we begin to question what has been forced upon us. If only we could stop fighting ourselves and nourish and care for our bodies. If only we could accept our own love and live in our bodies with that love. When we do that, when we find a way to get there, that love spreads and there’s just no turning back. Tell someone you love them today. And tell yourself that, too! It’s not as easy or as cheesy as it sounds. It can be very difficult for some of us. Just put a hand on your heart and say, “I love you.” And mean it! Tell me how it feels. <3

 

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4 Comments to

“Sometimes.”

  1. On May 9th, 2012 at 11:25 am Twistie Says:

    I love YOU, you beautiful, painfully honest, endlessly curious, brave person, you.

    So there.

    Oh, and it feels superfantastic!

  2. On May 9th, 2012 at 2:02 pm Linda Garber Says:

    Super great. Thank you!

  3. On May 9th, 2012 at 3:41 pm Michelle Says:

    Hi, this is Michelle from our e-mail exchanges from last December, you probably don’t remember me but I cherish the e-mails you had sent last year, they were always so encouraging, understanding, loving, accepting and caring and there needs to be more people like you in this world! You are truly a shining light, a wonderful beautiful blessing to the world! I still remember when you said,”I love you!” in one of your e-mails long ago and I still find it touching so THANK YOU and I love YOU too! Take care! <3

  4. On May 10th, 2012 at 11:00 am Not Blue at All Says:

    Michelle: How could you think for a second that I wouldn’t remember you? Silly! Of course I do! And I do love you, doll! You’re an amazing person! I am hoping that you are closer to seeing that within yourself…because it’s true and it’s in there just waiting for you to see! Write me some more! <3

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