Maybe I really am one of the lucky ones, or maybe I’ve worked so hard my entire life and have had enough of the assholes of the world that it is finally now that I am surrounded by awesome people. I realized this while checking my Facebook news feed and found one inspirational quote after another.
I keep hearing people bemoan Facebook for various reasons, but mostly because their news feed is full of jerks (in my opinion), or plain old negativity. I’m not saying that my news feed is a special little snowflake, because we share a lot of the same FB friends, but I do find that I surround myself with like-minded individuals and thus have created a somewhat insulated reality for myself online and in real life.
It is when I step outside of this magical fat-lovin’ realm that I am instantly reminded of the hate and negativity in the world. One needn’t go far, simply walking down my own street will garner jeers and dirty looks if not outright hatin’! I still choose to leave the house and go about my own damned business, but I keep a cool head by knowing in my heart that it isn’t me they hate, it’s what I represent to them and all of the lies they’ve been fed their entire lives.
Facebook, I think, is one of those places where it is what you make of it. No, we don’t have total or even most control of the content on there, but it is what you put into it, your intentions and whom you “friend” that makes it what it is to you. I used to feel uneasy about the whole thing. Then I stepped back and saw what other bad asses were doing…and I joined them! Now I use it to spread the positive messages of the day, important political and social rights causes, rad fatty businesses, photos, smart-assery, events, etc…and I enjoy it so much more!
Now I look forward to checking my FB news feed and IM-ing with friends and catching up on all things awesome. I don’t have the time I once did to spend on crafting witty status updates, but I still enjoy reading yours. I even like seeing pics of Gwen Stefani in the recording studio working on the new No Doubt album. I just like being in the know on the stuff that, well, I already like! Ha-ha!
People get all snarky when I say this though. They say it’s not like that for them. They ask how I can post some of the things I do without worrying about offending people or starting “drama.” Here’s the thing, I don’t “friend” people that I am not my whole and most authentic self with. The people I FB “friend” get me or my blog and I dig them and so it’s this harmonious thang. I don’t friend my parents! I don’t friend work peeps! I don’t friend the pope or anyone who might otherwise judge me without my having a voice in the matter.
Also, I speak up! I have un-friended many people for not respecting me, not respecting others or for being a plain old fashioned jack ass! So what?! I used to follow a local band on FB. I knew those guys IRL, actually. Then one day, while checking my feed, they posted a really pointless fat joke. I spoke up. No one addressed my objection, it just hung there. So I “unliked” them…fuck ‘em! If they don’t like fat guys, though the dudes in the band are fat guys, then they don’t like me and don’t require my support. Plain and simple. I’m working on simple in and of itself, so these things help me see it all from a different perspective.
Can you just “un-friend” someone in real life? YES! You absolutely can, but it won’t be as easy as clicking a button anonymously online. No, it’s more difficult, and it should be, when people’s real thoughts, feelings and hearts are involved. I’m not a fan of burning bridges, I find it’s best to handle people with respect, even when they can’t find it in themselves to do the same for you. I try to just be me and let them be them. If my “life-is-in-chaos” is hard for them to swallow, I get it, so be it. I let it go and walk away. I cannot burden myself (or my heart at the moment) with other people’s expectations and baggage. It’s too much! I’m overwhelmed as it is. But I take the time to think things through and never intend to harm or hurt someone.
So I go to my FB feed and “like” all of these fabulous and positive things and “share” them, too. I do this everyday and I enjoy it. I sign petitions and coordinate with other activists. I encourage my friends and acquaintances alike and I enjoy it. I stay in the big fat loop and get to stay in touch with people all over the world! I love that!
“Like” this blog’s FB page and feel free to strike up a conversation there, too: http://on.fb.me/AxquvT
And if you need more inspiration, check out the Hot new Single from Gossip: