At some point in my self-acceptance journey I began to realize that the rules for fat fashion actually seep into all women’s fashion-lives. How many people do you know who rely on these archaic rules? Well, as I began to rid those rules from my life and my wardrobe, I still felt an inner cringe when someone would wear something “trashy” “too tight” “too sexy” “unflattering” and more. Yeah, I used to be part of the secret fashion police, though I don’t know why I thought I qualified.
You see, as I began to accept myself I slowly but surely began to accept others, just as they were. This is when I realized that judging oneself and others works in tandem. Just as lying to yourself and others does. When I decided to see how long I could go without the lies and judging, I was surprised at just how much better I felt over all. I felt better. I did. Think about that.
Even before my most recent fatshion revolution (hello short and clingy dresses!) I knew that the old rules needn’t apply to me or anyone anymore. Fashion is a necessity in the whole covering your naked flesh sort of way. But it’s also an identity creator and statement maker and comfort supporter. This could not have been made more plain to me than when I recently wore my old bowling shirt from my 30th b-day. Five years had passed and suddenly this shirt that I adored (but only wore the once) felt a hundred times too big on me.
It was a bit of a shock. It was a shirt I was so excited to get, had my name embroidered on it and everything. I had even bought bowling shoes (best deal ever: $20 eBay, paid for themselves after 3 trips to the alley) that were hot pink and black! But as I accepted myself more and started to wear whatever the fuck I wanted and let go of what other people thought along with those ridiculous shame-filled rules, I started to understand what looked and felt best on my fat body, flattering be damned!
When I put that shirt on again, in a bit of a rush, I didn’t give it a thought. But as I began to bowl I felt like I was swimming in it! Explaining to a friend the next day, I was amazed at how much I was still trying to hide my figure and rolls back then. It didn’t seem like so much time had passed, but then again, it had. I told her how I thought I should belt the thing next time and, “Ooooh! If I had a black pencil skirt?!” Ha-ha! My 30 year old self would have died at that! A belt and a tight skirt? *Gasps*
Now when I get dressed I am mindful of how I’m feeling in that moment. Then I think about what I am doing that day and consider the weather and what comfort level will work best for those two factors. Then I go about actually getting dressed. It may seem silly to some, I used to be a grab and go kind of gal and still am in many ways, but I also refuse to be uncomfortable for style ever again. I just know that I won’t look good if I am not feeling good. And now I feel my most fabulous when I’m wearing my teggings and boots with some awesome little dress.
I still wear jeans. I love jeans, actually. My heart is broken over trying to find new ones to replace my beloved Avenue Denim Lite straight leg ones (and curse whomever discontinued them and double curse all who have designed denim for Avenue ever fucking since!!!). I often just wear jeans and a cute top to work…and my ever-present black hoodie. Gawd I love that thing! It’s always the perfect temperature, no matter what is going on or where I am.
I still have my “depression hoodie” that I have only ever called that snarkily to myself in my head…it’s bright yellow and soooooo comfortable! I only ever wear it at home. In fact, I’m realizing right now that my favorite comfy pj’s are bright green and yellow. Hmm. Great colors, don’t get me wrong. All from Old Navy, I believe…all of my favorite pajamas are from ON. Bastards! Ha-ha!
My point in all of this is that you can feel good and look good, too. It doesn’t matter what your Nana or your Mama told you growing up. It doesn’t matter what your shitty co-worker thinks. All that matters is how you feel and how you think you look in what you’re wearing. And when you let go of judging yourself and others, you’ll just feel way better in general.
What’s your most fabulously-you outfit? I’d love to hear about it, but even more so, let me see it! 🙂 You can post to this blog’s Facebook Page (be sure to “Like” it for all the latest updates, links, shares and my usual nonsense) or leave a comment here. Thanks so much.