Bit of a ranty post, folks. You know how I roll.
Have you had this happen?
You’re talking to some person about yourself and you refer to yourself as fat, feeling all full of activism and pride, when the person stops you with a look of horror and exclaims, “You are NOT fat!!!” Ugh! It’s almost as though admitting you are fat there in makes them fat…or something. It’s bullshit. It’s their hang up, not yours. And here’s the thing, you have every right to identify as anything you want to. Period. No one can take that from you.
This time of year makes these situations all the more difficult with the endless presence of food. But we are strong…no one can tell us we’re wroooooong! Sorry, my inner Pat Benatar does tend to come out occasionally. I personally believe that it is vital to assert your preferred identity as something wholly your own and in no way a reflection of others. When people try to take this from you it is rude, disrespectful, but also very fucking belittling. As though you couldn’t possibly know or understand how you yourself think/feel, etc. Ugh!
When faced with this situation, I quickly and calmly attempt to educate them on their misstep. Not in any way rude or overly aggressive, but again calmly and as simply as possible. Most people receive my little schpeel of info easily and even tend to ask questions…but then you get these insistors! They insist XYZ is bad/unhealthy/the Devil! Yes, I still attempt to explain to them that food has no moral value. If they get even more insistent, I smile and deliberately walk away, if I can. If I cannot and I don’t know the person I will attempt a polite, “well this is going nowhere” with a giant cheesy grin. Why? Because fuck them, that’s why!
Why do we let people walk all over us and then apologize to them on top of it? WHY? There’s no reason! Apologize for nothing you had zero control over! I am sick of hearing people say “sorry” for every little fucking thing! Stop it right now! You have no reason to be sorry. It’s some bullshit social construct either foisted upon us or by our own design, in either case I am throwing that off and away for good. No more, “Sorry” when someone bumps into me or rudely steps on my feet. I mean, why the hell should I be sorry? THEY SHOULD!
I am done with people pushing their prejudices and baggage on me. DONE! And I feel so much better about myself and social gatherings. I even went to a party the other night and found myself chatting with all kinds of people I’d never met before and I had a blast. Body stuff didn’t even come up…not once! Shocking!
So yes, when someone is rude to me, I tell them. It’s important to me that someone tell them and since most people are fearful of a social faux pas . Well I had no say in the building of such social constructs, honesty is best so long as you’re not rude about it. Civility is important. Calm and intelligent discussions are vital! These are the things we are lacking in society today. You don’t see much of that in films or television…it’s up to us to create the world we want to live in.
And because I had a shit morning and spilled my perfectly crafted coffee all over my kitchen in an attempt to make myself something for breakfast besides coffee I will leave you with the above to consider for yourself. I really need to finish this second coffee before anything else happens. ha-ha!